A personal apology from me.

[Andyhenry]

Hi Warriors,

It's been brought to my attention that along with my straight talking attitude sometimes comes a harsh edge that results in some people thinking that my matter-of-fact message is somehow negative and even condescending.

I'm not a guru or someone special - just a normal guy trying to do the best I can with the resources I have.

Obviously no-one likes to hear those sort of things said about them, and I'm particular sensitive to such criticism as I've struggled in many ways during my life and I aspire to be so much more than just the lessons of those times.

So, rather than just ignore that feedback or pretend like those people just don't understand - I'd like to apologise.

If I said anything recently (or ever) that rained on your parade or took away any of a good feeling that you had before my comment and not afterwards - I'm truly sorry.

I can only see things from my perspective (it's the only one I have), so I rely on feedback in order to let me know when I'm not behaving in the way I would like to or that I aspire to.

If you don't know what I'm talking about - Just ignore this dramatic interlude, but if you do, please take my post seriously and remove any negativity I may have induced, it's not good for you or me.

Thanks for your time and consideration.

Andy

[Dennis Cheesman]

Hello Andy,

You are areally great guy, and I myself like the straight talk... I would rather be told straight up than to be lied to or sweet talked..

Trust me it will help people more to be told straight up in the long run..

Dennis

[Joseph Then]

What's wrong with being straight forward? It is many times better than beating around the bush!

[Shezz]

I think you can tell it straight without sounding nasty, there's a difference between telling it straight and being nasty I think.

I only say this as I have felt offended before with some comments made - and although it was a while back, I do believe we may have had words in the past Andy as a result of your comments.

However, I hold no grudges and I understand your intentions were not meant to be nasty. You are obviously someone with some very good knowledge and advice and I'm sure we all appreciate your input on the forum.

[Sirius Lin]

Keep straight-talking, Andy. You know some of us appreciate it!

~ Sirius

[Monetize]

People come here for advice, recommendations &
suggestions and that's what they should receive.
We're all adults here and this is a business forum,
so people need to grow up and deal with what is
really real. Don't sugarcoat! And don't apologize!

[Lesley Huntley]

Exactly, I'd rather have the harsh truth than sweet lies.

[Andyhenry]

Originally Posted by Lesley Huntley

Exactly, I'd rather have the harsh truth than sweet lies.

I'm sure many people feel the same, however there's obviously a fine line between harsh truth and when you start to offend people.

You can't please everyone and I'm not trying to, but I have to accept that if people feel the need to tell me that I'm out of order - I have a responsibility to consider how to improve my communication if I can. At least taking responsibility for it so that people who have never met me and can't read my good nature into words posted on the forum is something I need to consider if I'm going to keep posting here.

Andy

[Dennis Cheesman]

Hello Andy,

Maybe you should start your replies with a disclaimer?

Warning: if you are easily affended or can't handle the truth please skip this reply...

Dennis

[keithakin]

Andy,

I think it is really big of you to be able to put the ego to the side and apologize for something you feel is necessary.

I do like to hear things straight up, like everyone else. However, straight up doesn't have to be degrading.

I have had nothing but good experiences with you.

I am sure no one here thinks you are the big bad wolf!

Keep shooting it straight!

[Alan Petersen]

I'm glad you posted this. I respect you a lot and read your posts but you did zap the life out of the other warriors thread.

There is a difference between being a straight talker and being condescending to other folks. Although I'm certain that wasn't your intention that is how it came out. Cups of coffee vary worldwide so perhaps in his town he can buy a lot more then you can in the UK. I was in London last year and I'm still in sticker shock over the price of everything there.

Cheers!

Alan

[Andyhenry]

Originally Posted by Alan Petersen

I'm glad you posted this. I respect you a lot and read your posts but you did zap the life out of the other warriors thread.

There is a difference between being a straight talker and being condescending to other folks. Although I'm certain that wasn't your intention that is how it came out. Cups of coffee vary worldwide so perhaps in his town he can buy a lot more then you can in the UK. I was in London last year and I'm still in sticker shock over the price of everything there.

Cheers!

Alan

Hi Alan,

That's the main reason for this thread.

When I mentioned the coffee is was really a reflection of the fact that I'd just been to Starbucks and I still can't believe how much they charge, nothing to do with me and my holier-than-thou fancy lifestyle or however it came across.

I actually got a message from the OP in the thread you're referring to and he thanked me and we're chatting via PM - but it's the other people who jumped in on his behalf which were the ones I actually offended.

Regardless - I'm not trying to tell anyone how to live their life and if someone gets offended, it's as real to them as if I meant it so I'm still sorry.

Andy

[Asher]

Hi Andy,

Straight-talking is fine except that sometimes, it's better to do it with
tact, or some diplomacy skills. Which I'm sure you have plenty of =D

I agree with Lesley with harsh truth and sweet lies.

With the newbies, gentle truth. For the more advanced, harsh truth.
If they don't take it, there's no issue for you, is there? Since you're
telling it as is.

Asher

[garyv]

Andy - You've done a great job at expressing your good nature with this post. And the ability to be able to edit yourself is admirable.

It should be the goal of all of us, to better ourselves as human beings. But you'd be surprised at how hard self awareness is for some people. I include myself in that "some people". Sometimes it takes an outside source to point out our flaws. And hopefully that outside source does it in a friendly and constructive manner. You've done a great job at being constructive with your criticism.

Thanks for the post.

[Hesaidblissfully]

It can be hard to communicate on the internet without the verbal equivalent of a wardrobe malfunction. Sometimes even innocuous comments can come of short or condescending, let alone "straight talk".

One thing I always try to do is to follow up criticism by saying something positive about the person or what they're doing. If people feel like you at least understand where they're coming from, there's much less of a tendency for them to feel attacked and get defensive.

So it might be like:

"I really don't think xyz about your sales page is a good idea. But it's good that you included abc, and it looks much better than what I probably would have come up with when I was just starting out. I think if you make those changes John mentioned, it'll be much more effective..."

Something like that.

[Mary Gallivan]

Hi Andy

It's already in black and white - 'Beware - Straight Talker' and that's what you do.

Not all people like that, some get very easily offended if they don't hear what they want to.

I remember getting upset by something you said to me not so long ago, but to be fair to you, it was the best bit of advice you gave me and I will move forward from it. I keep meaning to write to you to thank you for it and will do so soon.

I think all constructive criticism is healthy and helpful and I believe that's what you provide and you always do it in a nice helpful way.

Keep up the good work!!

Best wishes

Mary

[Angela V. Edwards]

Andy, I personally, have never seen you be unkind. Yes, you "straight talk" to people, but you are not mean or cruel by any stretch of the imagination. I count on the fact that if you tell me something, that's the way it is. I really appreciate that, too.