450 Clicks, 0 Sales - What Gives? (and I think my funnel is pretty good)

After looking at your sales page I would test video sales letter style with a email subscription form right below the video. Try to keep it all above the fold. . Get people to subscribe and pre-sell your manual through email. Give your new subscribers a free chapter for signing up.

After they sign up through double optin redirect to your main sales letter. Have a video there as well. From this sales letter you will give them 24 hours to buy your manual at a reduced price. After that they will have to pay full price for it.

Test this out and see that it works. There is a lot of power in deadlines.

Hope this helps.

So, you were hoping for sales to be climbing steadily into double figures? (in a hyper competitive marketplace you may need a dramatic increase in clicks).

But understandably you want an indication that your copy is working.

Here's my view.

The "pitch" is a bit of a smorgasbord with lots and lots of copy techniques.

Which seem to send the "Big Idea" and the "Theme" cascading in different directions.

It's difficult to concentrate and get a grip on it.

Maybe it's trying a bit too hard.

And not really saying anything new - your audience may well have heard it all before.

So try this technique from the late, great Mr Eugene Schwartz - author of the acclaimed "Breakthrough Advertising"

Here are some notes - (based on my understanding as well as other copywriters who have written extensively about the book).


When They’ve Heard It All Before

Prospects are now overwhelmed.

As Gene says “How are your prospects going to distinguish you from the masses.? How do you breakthrough to reach them?

The desire lying beneath each promise never fades away – for instance the woman who wants to lose weight – despite having tried dozens of things that didn’t work – still wants to lose weight!

And new prospects are constantly coming into the market, while the old ones become frustrated and dissatisfied – ready to try something new all over again.

According to Gene this is how the market renews itself.

The desire never fades. The dissatisfaction builds up, month after month. Secretly perhaps even unconsciously these women are hoping to find a new product – a new headline – that promises a new way to satisfy an age old desire.

When you think about it this is how most prospects are in a mass market – like health and finance.

Competition is stiff and prospects have heard every possible benefit and no respond to the same appeals.

So what do you do?

Gene’s brilliance is simply - reveal the mechanism.

This is the NEW device that makes all the old claims fresh and believable.

It’s a new way to achieve the same old benefit – the prospects have been looking for all along.


EG’s – Cutting Carbs (Atkins), Protect arteries and reverse heart disease (Vitamin D), Get rich is real estate – with nothing down (Robert Allen)

Notice how the focus shifts from the promised benefit – to the specific way the benefit will be achieved.

The mechanism can be but doesn’t necessarily have to be science or technology.

It can be something as simple as a topical event.

Or just about anything that is genuine and resonates with your audience.


Hope this is useful.


Steve

You are in a very competitive market with some big hitters. I found
your quiz a little too personal. The first question asks me what I'm
struggling with. I would be hesitant to admit the answer except I
can be assured full anonymity. Just a small point to consider.

I find also that when you are not an 'expert' that you need a ton
of testimonials to make up for your lack. Also, where are the
'before' and 'after' from those giving testimonials. These type
of pictures count more than anything they can say.

-Ray Edwards

When you say 450 clicks... if you're talking ad clicks, then you might have 100 promo views from that?

Thus, your data can hardly be conclusive.

That said, the copy generally seems pretty solid (I only scanned it). Nothing jumps out as unique though, I've seen it a hundred of times before. But I'd also expect it to convert to targeted traffic, perhaps not massively, but a few sales.

Do you have an email follow-up sequence in place?

Also, your order form is horrendous looking. Barely readable on my screen and generally doesn't scream credibility. This might be the first thing to change. It sucks.

Agree with Ray too about testimonials... before and after pics seem sensible.

Colm

P.S. I just read an article today saying folks in the paleolithic period did eat carbs, which is a funny coincidence, that part at the start of your promo resonated with me.

450 clicks isn't nearly enough.

Also your sales letter needs work, it's
not terrible, but what you have to realize
is there are 1000's of fitness programs on
the net.

And your letter looks / sounds the same as
all of them.

You need something that sticks out
and is different...something that is
weird enough to get attention...

"Muscle-obsessed Computer Scientist reveals how to
hack your body's endocrine system and produce light speed muscle growth"

I didn't look too far into it but I think your headline could use some work.

I actually like the title of your book and think that could work better.

Also, are you tracking clicks to the order form and/or have tried a different one?

You have this macho page telling guys how they're about to be big and buff...
testosterone probably through the roof and they're ready to f*ck some shit up -
then you send them to a cute little page with rainbows on it to check out.

Just scanned your copy. To me the headline is a little too long. I would stop after "...and energy systems" and put the following into a sub headline.

Then in the first line of copy, you are telling your potential customers, you are no professional coach. I know why you are doing this, but I my opinion its not that smart to make this the first line of text.

In the first place you have to position yourself as an authority, instead you are telling them you are not. People tend to believe professionals more than non-professionals.

Leave it with the "regular guy"-thing, but avoid telling them what you are not.

Maybe the price might be a little to high. Have you done a market research?

Just to throw in a number: in Germany 12 Weeks of Freeletics, with a virtual (professional) coach, nutrition plan and an "individual" program are about $39.

Hope this helps!

Price may be a bit high, but you can honestly sell air for more online so...

I read through your entire sales page copy and I can tell you two big takeaways:

1. Your 'Pre-Sell' pages don't pre-sell.

On your quiz page, here's your promise:
I reveal the top 3 mistakes regular people make that are sabotaging your chances of building muscle and burning fat

On your ebook page:
Use this little-known "dessert" food to boost your muscle growth, crush your cravings, and turbocharge your metabolism in less than 30 seconds. Enter your best email to get INSTANT access

Here's your sales page headline:
Revealed: The Scientific Secret to Burn Belly Fat & Build a Lean, Muscular Physique by "Hacking" Your Endocrine, Neuro-Muscular, and Energy Systems... You'll Turn Heads and Leave Your Friends and Co-Workers Speechless

Zero Congruency.

2. No Golden Thread.

Your sales page has no 'golden thread'. Nothing that makes it any different from other products.


Just some general advice for you.

What's the big idea of your sales message? The thing that sets you apart from everyone else?

I scanned through the copy and couldn't find it. It seems the 3 secrets you have are:

1)Compound movements with heavy weights (Yawn, heard it a thousand times already)
2)Get your macros right (Yawn, heard it a thousand times already)
3)Don't overtrain (Yawn, heard it a thousand times already)

What else have you got, that I can't find for free in any article or forum online?

The product image looks amateurish as it's only 2-D.

Most products doing well are offering video training as well. So for the price you're asking I could get a different program which has everything demonstrated via video, which is a lot more appealing.

The copy needs work, but it's just one piece of the overall picture.

I knew this wasn't going to be easy. But I'm not giving up. My goal is to convert cold, paid traffic.

I really appreciate everyone's response. I'm blown away at the amount of time you've all spent going through my copy.

Tim's right. There's no hook; no big idea... no golden thread.

And your sales letter will instantly turn people off - even if they through your entire funnel first.

You don't come across as any kind of authority... and your wearing your insecurities on your sleeve.

Tell your WHOLE story. Connect with people. You're overselling... with no substance.

Mark

I've done a fair amount of work in this space (online fitness coaching / info products) and I generally agree with most of the feedback you've got.

- No main hook
- Heard it all before
- Marginally believable

But I see a bigger issue. WHO are you trying to sell to?

- The overweight middle age dad who hasn't seen the inside of a gym in a decade?
- The hardcore meat head who's looking for an edge? (very tough market)
- The pro or aspiring pro bodybuilder/physique competitor? (very very very tough market)
- etc.

I see the subhead about entrepreneurs and businessmen, but by the time I get to that I'm already 3-4 steps into your funnel.

I am an avid gym goer and (pretty much) eat like a bodybuilder. I'm not a giant meat head, but I am big, muscular and lean for a guy who's 50 years old.

The quiz was a dead giveaway to me that the product was unfocused and not something I'd benefit from. (I don't mean come across as harsh... truly I offer all this advice in the spirit of friendship.)

Let me give you a couple for instances... take the stress question. Your last option is:

I have a ton of stress in my life but I am at the gym rain, shine by 6:15 six days a week. I worry about stress (cortisol) and what the impact on my T, HGH, Cortisol, Insulin and other body chemistry.

I stress out when I don't get AT LEAST of 6 hours sleep... I wonder what that's doing to my gains and fitness level. Honestly I'd feel much better with a minimum of 7 or 8. You could really play that up in the quiz and poke them if they're not getting enough.

So the way you position stress isn't relevant to me or anyone who's already an avid gym goer.

You don't ask what my nutritional philosophy is
You don't ask what my training philosophy is
You don't ask about my goals (cut fat, build muscle, enhance athleticism, etc.)
... you get the point.

The quiz telegraphs the quality of the materials by the questions it asks.

Again... maybe I'm not your market. That's cool. But if I'm not I should have already read that before I started. The people taking the quiz should know if they're your target customer before they every click the start button.

Based on my experience you need a SUPER TIGHT niche if you want to do well in the fitness industry as a small solo operator.

Also, I'd dump the hype. I know Mike Chang is making buku sales with promises of "eat anything you want work out 5 minutes a day" but c'mon. Any sensible person knows that doesn't work.

Again.. working out 3x per week won't give you a lean muscular physique... true you may get stronger and you may burn off some fat, but if that's you in the pic you're not working out 3x a week and your diet is very clean. (unless you're 20 and can still eat anything you want and get a great physique)

I think (scratch that... I KNOW) you can sell a product that sets the correct effort expectations and people will find it refreshing to get the truth. You can get people in the right mental state to embrace the journey -- even if it is one that requires work.

The way I see it is in the end you don't need a million clients. You just need a very loyal following who you can return to again and again with great products.

So I would

- Sharpen the focus on who the client is
- Tell them what makes your program new and different
- Show LOTS of proof since you're not a trainer
- And start them in your funnel with an email program that builds trust and delivers value before you ever ask them to buy anything.

I hope this helps. Feel free to PM me or email me if you want to chat. I'm happy to help.

I admire you. You have done a lot of work that I am only now aspiring to learn and do.

And I like your tenacity to not give up, too!

I am not able to offer any advice except to offer moral support. With your enthusiasm and determination I can only imagine that your goals are lofty and that you will accomplish them.

To all of those on this thread that have offered support to rimam1, I have read all of your posts and commend you for your willingness to support someone that you only know through this forum.

Now I know that I am in the right place at the right time with the right people to help me on my IM journey.

Leilani

I recently did a fitness offer. 8% conversion to her list. 3% to FB traffic.

There was nothing new in the offer. No testimonials. No befores and afters.

Just glam shots of her and the power of her personality and style.

You can do it, Raza. No doubt. You're on your way.

You couldn't even be bothered to change their names...

EDIT - I didn't bump a month old thread, the OP posted but it looks like he's deleted it.

It's not that bad but I see some definite problems with it on the formatting and the headlines aren't that good. just being honest but it does look like potentially a worthwhile product.

Honest impression - who the Hell is Raza Imam or whoever, why should I listen to him - what does he know - and he's showing me a pic of chocolate - like I'm supposed to think that's good for me - does he think I'm an idiot?

Credibility 0%, Trustworthyness 0%, liklihood of me buying anything 0%.

Not trying to be harsh, just looking through fresh eyes.

I agree with daveshu & gmcd07 above. I think you won't go for more scientific in your approach. You must go for more emotionally involved words instead.

Your sales letter doesn't touch my emotion (as a prospect) for a while from the beginning until half of the page.

When you tell the reader about who you are, I'm bit engaged with your story. But the story is way to far at the bottom. I tend to close the page before I reach it.

I see you're targetting men with busy days, I read it from the title.

Then your target audience will be those man in a range of age of 25 to 45 i guess.

The range is wide, you can shrink it and will have more specific things to say. More engagement with your audience.

Ok, the conclusion from me will be :
1. Get more for the emotional approach
2. Wipe all the story that's not relevant to the emotional approach.
3. Focus on one thing (or story) to engage with your audience.

But first of all, know your audience well before write anything..

Actually the most effective way is to direct target traffic to your site, offer a free gift as your lead magnet and get their email. If you want to make front end sales, it's better to emotionally connect with your audience. Understand their pain first, then put it in your capture/product page. When you start focus on your audience instead of your product or email collecting, emails and money will follow you.

Don't fall in love with your work. It doesn't matter that you think your funnel is good. The results will tell you what is good or not.

Look up split testing guides.

first… $100 is nothing on paid traffic…. to test. just keep that in mind.

2. you need to BRIDGE the optin to the sales letter - it could be as simple as a graphic on top saying "your pdf will arrive in 5-10 minutes in the meantime here's how you can build muscle even faster…"

3. the letter is kinda boring…. - see what successful offers are running to compare

4. the letter is kinda boring

5. your funnel is only as good as the #'s it produces - not what your opinion is.

6. what are you split testing? if you're not, your are F**king yourself

7. no proof, credibility, or anything in the letter = bad