Be Honest. Brutally Honest. What Do You Think About This Copy?

This:
..Grab Your Free Copy Of "A Caregivers' Guide To Living" Now Before A Price Is Put On All Our Hard Work!"
just doesn't work, especially where it is. It kind of looks like it just ended up there.

You need to put the benefits above the sign up / opt in form.

"FREE Consumer's Guide to Hiring Home Health Aides E-book"
Build some value in the free guides, even though they're free. Give some things that the free guides will help your target market solve, and the more, the better.
Spend a bit more time identifying and building a rapport with your audience.

Just my .02

Steve

I looked at your page before I looked at the other responses, and I had the same feeling. But I can so relate to the situation, so I'd like to go into a little more detail.

I've only read above the fold at this point, but it's essential that you get that part right.

When I read the opening, I could relate. I'm a single, 40-something woman whose mom has Alzheimer's and although she doesn't live with me, it adds a lot of responsibilities.

So I was into the story but then all of a sudden I was hit with the red headline:

..Grab Your Free Copy Of "A Caregivers' Guide To Living" Now Before A Price Is Put On All Our Hard Work!"

Instantly the tone changed, and I still had no idea what you were offering and how you could help me.

Here's my two cents:

Add some promise and some benefits to the headline, which now reads: Family Caregivers, Does This Sound Like You?

Laurie's case is extreme, so it likely won't sound like all of them.

Instead try something on this idea:

If you're a caregiver for an elderly parent or needy adult, you're probably overwhelmed, exhausted, and stressed. We can help.

Take out the "grab your free copy" headline altogether. It may work in another niche, but it doesn't work here.

And take out the other reference to "our hard work" where you say only 50 copies are available. Unless this is true, just leave that out altogether.

It sounds like you're offering an important service. You don't need gimmicks, you just need to offer quality material and be honest about it. If you have any testimonials to add, that would also be effective.

I hope this is helpful.

Janet

thanks for the information everyone. i went ahead and used the title that you suggested janet. I've fixed it up somewhat. I agree the subhead was very awkward and offputting so I ommitted it all together

Looks great now, however your editing is not yet complete. Omit needless words. I see plenty of sentences that can be trimmed. Don't try to sound intelligent--be intelligent. Say as much as you can in as few words as possible. When you think your finished you can probably still delete another 25 words.

I think you copy needs work. It does not readily state your focus and what your site is offering. Just my opinion.

definitely appreciate the input but any specific suggestions?

What I like the most is your story.

To me, the headline is not very strong. Try putting the solution in your headline, instead of "we can help", which doesn't quite hit it in my opinion.

I'd suggest something like "Stress no more. How to enjoy care-giving like never before." Not in those words exactly, but you get the idea. Come up with something along those lines which paints the solution for the visitor.

I definitely suggest that you increase the font size of the copy and have a bit more space. At the moment the font is too small and the page looks a bit crammed. The content of the copy also needs a rewrite I'd say.

Get rid of the Home, About Us and Blog on the upper right hand corner. The point of a squeeze page is to get people to sign up. Drop any leaks that will get in the way.

In your headline the line We Can Help is really weak. You do a good job at the beginning of the headline in targeting your audience but then go for a stock phrase without any real meaning. Work on the headline.

Once again, a stock phrase that doesn't get them to feel the pain. Instead of this tell a story of someone who got stuck in that "maze" People love stories and it will draw them into the copy.

The second paragraph is just plain dull. Work on livening it up a little.

"we were able to compile" - stay away from the passive voice like this. We wrote is much better than we were able to compile.

Why do I care about these things. I know it may seem obvious but put the benefit after them in clear language. Something like...

5 Sources of Funding For Home Health Care so that you don't have to go broke taking care of your loved one. Not great but you get the idea...

Huh? I thought you were going to be giving me peace of mind. Now I might be having a breakdown? Reword this or get rid of it.

What is Respite Care? How can it help me buy more peace of mind?

Rephrase this without the phrase buy more peace of mind.

Once again, put benefits on these. Don't just list what they will get.

While I know what you are trying to do here, it has been proven that these types of disclaimers actually suppress response. It gets people thinking about something that they weren't thinking about before. Get rid of it all.