Ladies & Gentlemen, Please Review my 1st Draft Sales Page :)

I was just scanning your page and found that

oh my gosh!!!
This guy gives bonuses for joining his membership site, but who in the world is gonna highlight the sub-headline?

If I was not looking for the bonus part in your copy, I would not have able to find the sub-headline sating about getting all the bonus for free with the membership site.

Warren.

Without reading the page--because that's what people do first--they
SEE the page before they even start reading--I can tell you that the
page is too wide (try stay under 700 px) and the graphics overwhelms
the words which makes the page hard to read.

There are just too many graphic elements and not enough words so
the copy appears very chopped up.

-Ray Edwards

Thanks Ray, I will have a look at making the words more of the main focus whilst the graphics being a secondary focus not a primary focus so the readers can actually read the sales page without getting distracted.

Thanks both of you for your comments.

I agree with the graphics part for one as it is a bit much. The other thing that I know works on a sales page is having the opportunity for the person to buy at more than one place on the page. You never know what will trigger a person to buy and seeing the buy now button more than once is like asking for the sale more than once in real life.

I would have more "Order Now" buttons scattered throughout the page but I would make the button a tad smaller.

I would second jaxrefinance on this.
Yes it has been noticed that scattered order buttons converts more than a single order button.

After few of your very convincing benefits just place an order button covered in action words such as "try it now", "grab this offer", "check it out" and so on.

Warren.

Seems like your sales letter's coming along nicely! These things jumped out at me right away:

1. In your headline, I didn't understand your context for calling this "self-help," so this phrase got in the way of me getting to your main point. Can you introduce this word/concept elsewhere?

2. Here's where your headline started making me pay attention: "Start Adding 80 Pages of Expert Articles . . . Trial for Just $19." This, to me, is the key message -- but you kind of buried behind all that 'self-help PLR' wording.

3. After I got turned on by the idea of adding 80 pages of articles per day, I already knew the traffic that could bring. But I backed up and re-read the part about "floods of traffic." So, what if you start with the "flood of traffic" part. The big, nice JPG underneath the headline tells me its PLR, so don't waste words tells me this in your JPG headline. It's the 80 articles (and BACKLINKS they'll bring) that turn me on & interest me. Don't confuse me with self-help just yet - explain it later!

Note: I think it's more important to mention BACKLINKS in the headline than it is self-help and plr.

4. Underneath your name . . . I'd delete those 2 paragraphs that begin with "Dear Fellow." They seem off-topic. Plus, right under that, you have "WANT TO KNOW HOW THE GURUS MAKE BIG BUCKS?" Well, my answer is YES!!! Start off with this and keep me interested.

Hope this helps.

Thanks everyone, I am implementing these changes today, I will get back to you guys with an updated version very soon