Copywriting Contest

Nope. Let's just stick with the contest above.

I think the product creation part of this can be a good indicator of copywriting knowledge as well - lets him know that we understand the components of a worthwhile product.

Hence, my new product.

Damn!

So obvious, but I didn't even think about it as I was writing the letter.

I foresee myself being docked a few points for that omission.

You think? When I have something to work from (i.e. a framework) I find it's a lot easier to brainstorm. Like JR said, there are tons of fitness products on the market. A copywriter can make an average product sound great, but it's a lot easier to make a great product sound amazing. The contest makes you think about what would constitute a better-than-average product, proving you have knowledge of the market.

And that you're grounded in realism... saying the product was created by a team of Olympic athletes, helps you lose 40 lbs in one week and has 100% efficiency would be the easy way out. So it also shows you can walk the line between what people will believe and what would make them read "scam."

Just coming from a different mindset!

I think both ways can test your skill, just in different manners. Not with one being necessarily better than the other. Sure, you can request as many details or requirements as possible and benefit from have a bit more creative focus. On the other hand, this kind of challenge might give a bit more insight into how your overall approach works not just in regards to copywriting but also product development and demographic analysis.

Well, let's just dispense with the mystery here...

I contacted Harlan yesterday and asked a simple question: I know you mentioned you would be putting the critiques on YouTube and doing a public critique here on the forum for the contest...Can you tell me if the sales letters will be presented anonymously? I generate most of my business here on the Warrior Forum, and I'm not sure it would be a good idea to undergo a very public dressing down of my copy at the same time I'm trying to generate business for my copywriting here on the forum.

There was nothing said about withdrawing. I just asked a pretty straightforward question. Rather than give me a direct answer, Harlan posted his "Crybaby" message here in this thread.

I don't know why I couldn't have gotten a simple answer...I didn't think it was a big deal...But I've since told Harlan to keep my sales letter in the contest...judging his public response here it seems I'd far from entered the winning submission, but I told him at the beginning the only reason I wanted to enter the contest was for his critique...So I'm not sure what all the drama is all about.

I have no qualms about public critiques. I've posted my own work here for criticism on several occasions and learned greatly from the feedback...Hell, there's a post a few threads down I made asking for a critique of my own sales letter I did for my band.

I'm preparing another sales letter for a Virtual Hot Seat with John Carlton and Stan Dahl...I've been trying to save money for a coaching/critique session with another prominent coach/writer here on this forum.

I certainly understand the value of criticism and have a thicker skin than anyone would probably give me credit for (you don't go through the kind of public floggings I've been through in my career and survive without a pretty high tolerance for pain).

I respect Harlan and I was looking forward to his insight and learning from him. I know he's highly respected and is great at what he does.

So I'm not sure why the need to chum the waters here with a cryptic fiction about someone "running to mama", but rather than leave some sort of festering mystery open to speculation as to who, what, or why someone would want to "withdrawl" (which never was mentioned), let's just dispense with the drama and move forward with the contest.



Jeremey

OK, all entries are in.

Do you guys want to share your comments on the entries before I do?

I was a bit stressed while working on this since I had a client meeting to prep for and only had brief breaks to write (was away from computer yesterday).

It was one of those instances where I got really invested in writing a meaningful "creator" introduction, then realized that oops, now I have half a page to explain the product. Considering that the concept I came up with was pretty unique (I think), it was a shame I couldn't go back and edit the backstory to play up the studies I found and further explain the benefits of the program.

Not at all my best work, but all in all, it was probably a useful exercise. I am a SLOW writer, and I fully admit this. I've earned some clients a lot of money, but it generally takes me over a month to write even a short sales letter. I'd like to eventually get more time efficient about it... I think writing outlines with limits (i.e. "only 2 paragraphs allowed here") might help me a lot.

Great ironic quote by the way, and it was mathematician Blaise Pascal. "If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter."

I guess I love the word "shredded," haha. I didn't allow enough time to distance myself from the copy -- that's why my intro is shred-tacular.

Thanks, Harlan.

This one is definitely a finalist.

What do you think?

Pay attention to Laura. Wait until you see her letter.

Considering I only spent about 20 min on it, I'm pretty happy with it.

Funny... I like the first half more than the second.

And the reason is because the market is at the highest level of maturity.

I think it takes a lot to get their advertising guard down.

I would even take this and use some advertising camouflage... make it look like a blog post or article.

In the second half it lacks credibility.

Normally I let the product, proof, and the market write the ad.

In this case I only had 2 pages and no proof elements to work with.

Not all headlines and leads need to be benefit oriented, but that's just the way I see it.

I'd rather get them to let their guard down and know, like, and trust me before I get into sales mode.

Gary Halbert and Gary Bencivenga often used it once for the opening..

as in this sequence...

"If you want, then xxx"

But that's a statement, not a question.

Seems to me being tricky to ask questions further in as it can slow the mental flow,
when we want them to slide down the greased chute.

Best,
Ewen

Ah I see, as they say in NLP, future pacing.

Thanks Steve!

Best,
Ewen

P.S. Let me know when you have finished that mailer.

Maybe have a before and after photo...
Laura being the hot after photo?

Best,
Ewen

Or, open ended questions and closed questions.

I like eclipses, too...

... But you don't see too many of them.

And when you do, you need to make sure to wear sunglasses... or ... don't look into them directly.

Sorry, Steve...

... couldn't resist.

I do it the second way, too.

If you notice my last post I did it the first way. But, I was doing it on purpose... just to exaggerate it.

As for when ellipses should be used, like with everything else, at the right time... in the right place... in the right way.

Same with questions. Wouldn't you say?

Fighting?? Nah. Just two guys remembering the "good old days" on Fortin's now defunct discussion board. LOL

Alex

My pick is the J-Lo ad, because celebrity trumps all else
as seen over at American Telecast Corporation.

Their informercial writer won't run them until he gets a
trusted celeb. He's got 80 so far.

Here's the product names, celeb names and revenue made.

Brands | American Telecast
Steve’s Bio | Steven K. Scott

Even sold life insurance on a 1 minute spot
He enlisted the guy who impeached Nixon as the insurance spokesperson.
His respect was so high that when people saw him in a airport
the people would stop what they were doing and clap hands.

J-Lo ad wins in my books.

Best,
Ewen

Dude, get real.

Throw traffic at unfinished unedited letters?

I don't think so.

While it might be kinda shitty to "trick" people like that, I agree with your overall sentiment.

Sales are all that matter.

Please say more.

Contest Winners!

Third Place Winner: Jason Parker - The "You Ate Too Much on the Holidays" Letter.

Second Place Winner: Tony Wells - The "J-Lo's Butt" Letter.

First Place Winner: Laura Kryza - The "Exercise Should Be Fun" Letter.

All three win an hour of mentoring on whatever aspect of copy or marketing they want.

Laura wins a job with me (if she wants it.)

She will have to sign an NDA on the project however.

So she can't share it until it's live.

Would the 3 winners please contact me to arrange prizes.

Thanks to everyone who entered.

Congrats and great job to all the winners!

Well done Harlan for bringing out new talent.

For the entrants who missed out on a place,
it's great learning experience.

For the runner ups, not only did you learn,
you got encouragement for being so close.

And Laura, this is your time to shine.

Best wishes everyone of you.

Best,
Ewen

Harlan,

I hate to say this, but I regret not tweaking the copy I attached and submitting via private message.

The feedback you've provided on the letters is really helpful.

I'm sure the time-value of money spent helping out folks here, plus the money you pay in winnings (who should get a 1099 btw) will be less than the social value (and potential copy cubs) you'll get out this.

In other words, I think this was a classic "win-win" for everybody involved.

Next time I'll follow directions!

Adam