Why Do My Friends Want My Business To Collapse?

Derek,

Lots of possible reasons, the most likely already mentioned.

Another point, very closely related to what's been suggested, is that they may think you're going to be a part of the circle again.

Really, though, the most likely is that they felt threatened by your success. They have pictures of where people should fit, and it can be very disconcerting for folks to see that it really is a choice, and not a destiny. That's a big responsibility they didn't think they'd have to carry.


Paul

wow, good insight. While all the replies in this thread are probably true in some way, i think this is really the root of it.

At least it makes perfect sense when applied to every experience or situation I'VE ever dealt with.

Hey Derek,

Honestly, it just sounds like your friends are jealous and they want you to be as miserable as them.

After reading everyones responses, it amazes me how everyone kind of receives the same reaction from their own friends and family.

It's funny that people look at us kind of weird because were making money online, but if we probably told our friends and family that were opening a store they probably wouldn't think anything of it.

I'm lucky enough to have friends and family that support me in this. But the only downside is no matter how many times I explain exactly how affiliate marketing works to them they still don't get it.

My wife and I had one friend that called us to see how our business was going. When we started explaining what we're doing, our friend said they were happy for us but still cannot understand what exactly it is that we do, but their glad it's working for us.

I swear it would just be easier to tell them I sell drugs. I have even told people that have asked what it is that I do for living that I basically design websites. That they understand. Go figure.:rolleyes:


-Brad

Get some new friends. Real friends want to see you happy. These people probably think you think you're better than them.

I agree with you Peter. We don't have to share with friends what we have achieved unless they are very supportive from begining. I think it is quite difficult to trust person that we called friend. We do not know what is inside their mind. They might be good from outside, but inside...God knows.

As for family members, those close one like parents, may be we can share, but also need to see how is our parent attitude. Are they the type that like to go and talk to others to show off. If that type, I think better don't.

Derek,

I need to chime in here and say that first of all - I can relate.

Your decision is sound. You will enjoy your new freedom by being VAGUE about what you do when others ask.

I used to be excited to tell people about IM, etc.

Soon you realize that nobody really cares, people largely just want to be "right", and if they DO care, it's because they desperately need/want money, which is actually a bad mindset for starting out in business...

...many of whom will end up becoming monkeys on your back - emailing, calling and pressuring you to share tips, under the guise of friendship but with a vivid air of desperation.

Your REAL friends show their true colors by remaining consistent throughout it all; they aren't fair-weather and they don't "rejoice" at your failure. That's a typical response of justification, where they "knew it" all along, or so they think.

I've had similar reactions from members of my family and people I thought were friends as well when things were rough. They were appropriately de-prioritized several notches in the personal trust/time department.

Things may be different these days, but even still the comments and little "remarks" just keep on coming. My advice is to just grow thick skin and enjoy your life, doing things that "friends" can only dream about.

And when you get to that point (when, not if) - it feels damn good. Even if your pride and sense of accomplishment is "lightly sprinkled" with some good old fashioned "in your face" sentiments...

These sheep can gloat all they want. They have no future prospect, short of some estranged inheritance or winning the lottery. Your future, on the other hand, is actually under your control and command.

Now - speaking of that...

Technical Glitches that Aren't Just Technical

You'd said that you had some technical problems that will tentatively cost you almost of year of progress.

Here is my outlook on your situation, along with some advice that you might want to consider...

One of the most popular topics on this forum and others is traffic. In particular, getting "free" Search Engine traffic.

People obsess over the latest web 2.0 link-building strategy, getting their squidoo/ezinearticles.com "borrowed space" content as well-ranked as possible, and so on.

For a lot of people starting out, their first goal is "I just want to make some money - see at least some kind of results"

And that's fine, but most of them never end up scaling things up and building an actual business. Instead, they're THRILLED to be earning commissions, adsense revenue and maybe some CPA stuff from scraper-style mini sites, submitted articles, free blogs and stuff where there's NO framework or plan for actually creating something.

Essentially, writing articles, using "free" blogs on sites like blogger, squidoo and so on and even building small sites where you don't give a damn about user experience - only commissions - is the equivalent of PPC.

Now hear me on this, PPC is GREAT. All that stuff I mentioned WORKS. It will drive traffic, and sales, fairly consistently.

But is it a business model?

NO.

It's a way to make money. That's it.

You're just turning over traffic from sites that have no actual following or authority. As soon as they're "de-indexed" - good bye income.

It's the same thing as waiting tables, or maybe contracting for a company. You CAN make good money. Hell - you can make GREAT money.

But as soon as that ONE variable dries up, you're toast. You've got jack. So when Google decides that it doesn't like thin affiliate sites, or sites that build their links from too similar a source type, or if they simply just dance their results around as they always do - it effects your actual livelihood.

You are being held hostage by things that you don't and can't possibly control.

That is not how a business is built.

Start scaling things so that you're actually building a real business by serving a group of people - AND - by including others in your business.

A simple example of this is developing an offer that converts, selling it, recruiting affiliates, and building a client list that you can contact via email anytime you wish.

Not only will the majority of your traffic come from a variety of sources (affiliates), but you'll also be building an actual ASSET (your client base), which can be leverage time and time again.

I know this is marketing 101, folks, but this is ESSENTIAL.

As for building that list and gaining initial momentum - well, this is where all that other stuff comes into play.

You can choose a niche effectively by testing several offers/niches at the same time with mini-sites. The markets/offers that draw down huge results are obviously a direction to consider modeling as a core business area.

Then, you focus on driving traffic for the purpose of:

a) Building your list & brand/name exposure, and recruiting affiliates

b) Optimizing conversions

And then just keep on driving traffic to *that* funnel. Soon enough - especially if you've got a hot-converting offer for your affiliates - you'll be getting tons of traffic that would only dry up if you physically disabled your own sites or order links.

Not to mention, an ever-growing list from which you can draw a continually increasing amount of traffic from each time you "use" it.

As you get the ball rolling with this kind of model, and especially once you sort out some effective backend promos and email marketing itineraries, your business will truly start to grow continually.

From this point, you simply keep on scaling. If you've got a basic site at this point, turn it into an authority site. Release more, related and complimentary products. Create recurring programs. Do cool events and viral stuff with your list. Outsource content creation and traffic-gen to freelancers, etc.

Even automatic, perpetual growth is possible after a while, and if you're utilizing existing properties/assets correctly.

Wanna know the best part of all

When you bring yourself to actually do it this way - you'll actually see first hand how much easier it really is, in every way possible.

It's even easier to START this way.

Or, in your case, re-start.

So my advice is that you simply use Google as a tool for getting the ball to start rolling. Don't make it your breadwinner.

All the best,

-Chris

This is not a new phenomenon. Most people go through life pretty much on an even keel, never really straying too far from their roots (social that is) and their friends all travel the same path, at roughly the same speed and often in the same direction.

We can handle this - it's the norm.

But when one of our circle of friends breaks out and does something that's not familiar to us and threatens the stability of the friendship, there's quite often resentment and sometimes a desire to limit the success of the would-be escape artist. It's a mix of fear, jealousy and love. They're afraid that their world is changing, they might be jealous because they've wanted to do something similar and they might genuinely think it's the wrong thing to do.

If things are allowed to continue and the friend breaks out of the circle, then the friendships are not likely to survive.

Some friends, the more rare ones, will allow the bird to fly and will encourage it. They're the rare friends and the ones to keep hold of.

Peter