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Helping Family Make Money . . . Good or Bad Idea?

by Ofthemix
71 replies
I have an aunt who gained mass interest in my online business when she saw me quit my day job and take on eBay full time. It took me 6 months to find a product and wholesaler that allowed me to make a good profit. She wasn't very tech savy but she kept begging me to teach her how to make money on eBay so I took the time to show her how to set everything up. Since then, she's asked me several times if she can start selling my niche product, which obviously kinda ticked me off because I don't like the idea of someone gaining from my 6 months of trial and error without any expense to them, and me not earning a single dime for my mentoring time, plus adding another competitor to the pile taking my sales. I spent a lot of money to find the right niche, and though I did clue her on on a few other profitable niches, she keeps approaching me to get in on my main niche. This story goes further though.

When she found out I was making money through affiliate marketing and saw one of my websites she wanted to get into that too. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't as easy as just throwing up a website. I spend countless hours on marketing and promoting. After much more begging, I finally agreed to build a website for her. I told her I would NOT market it though. That was her job. I did take a week to teach her how to market her website. Low and behold, she didn't do anything with it. In fact, I don't even think she checked it after the first week.

Fast foward a year later, I get a text message from her yesterday saying that she had an eBay emergency and needed me to call her ASAP. I admittedly put it off because I've been swamped with other things and I just assumed she'd be asking me about my main eBay niche again, as it seems to be a frequent topic of our conversations when eBay is involved. When I talked to her today she was inquiring about this strange $10 charge she got from GoDaddy. Then she proceeded to b***h me out because the domain name auto-renewed, she didn't keep any of her GoDaddy account info, and that all she's trying to do is make a little money and all she's doing is losing money. Are you friggin kidding me? It's $10. Websites aren't free. Perhaps I should have complained back about how she owes me for hosting, since I've been hosting it on my account.

*sigh* The moral of the story is (I know this isn't a moral, but more of a question), does it pay to try and help anyone? At least once a month someone asks me to teach them something about making money online . . . and when I do it I have to take time out of my day and my business and there is absolutely no return in it what so ever for me.

I hate to be one of those "what's in it for me" type of people, but nothing pisses me off more than when I take my time and money to help someone else, and then I get bitched out because that person either a.) won't take the initiative to make their business a success b.) aren't willing to invest the money that it takes c.) want to go into the exact same niches that I'm into because it's easier than finding their own d.) can't keep up with their own login info, like it's my job just because I helped them set up an account somewhere or e.) all of the above.

Sorry for the rant guys, but it's been a long week, and that was the straw that broke this camel's back.

Anyone have similar horror stories?
#bad #family #good #helping #idea #make #money
  • Profile picture of the author Rich Struck
    No good deed goes unpunished.

    It's nice to try and help people but as you've learned, you can only really do so much.

    I just love these people who think that spending $10 for a domain is the end of the world. There is nothing you can do to help a person like that.
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    • Profile picture of the author alanbray
      I dont know how successful you are but if you are living comfortably enough and you fought hard to get there, you probably take some real pride in your knowledge and skill. At this point if you help others achieve what you have done that means you really have what to be proud of. It is definitely hard to do but always remember what it was like trying for yourself all alone.

      You can also use it as a testing platform for something very big. If you were to notify all of your relatives that you are offering them a course on how to make money and you really work hard on it, you can have the ultimate practice for your eventual own professional course which can really make you a lot of money. Your family loves you and besides being curious if not jealous they also want to help you and if you explain to them that you want to practice on them, they will give you support and honest feedback so that you can be ready to make a course for real. Good Luck, Always help others!
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    • Profile picture of the author tpw
      Originally Posted by Rich Struck View Post

      No good deed goes unpunished.

      It's nice to try and help people but as you've learned, you can only really do so much.

      I just love these people who think that spending $10 for a domain is the end of the world. There is nothing you can do to help a person like that.
      Also, if you think about that... That is truly insulting...

      If she thinks all she needs to do to be successful is buy a domain, then she obviously believes that you did not earn your status, so it must have fallen out of the sky when you bought a domain...

      Schmack!!!
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  • Profile picture of the author Ofthemix
    Yeah, that's what really got to me. She was so irrationally angry over $10 . . . like everything in her house had just been stolen and it was MY fault.

    You're right, no good deed goes unpunished. I was going to say it myself, but I didn't want to seem overly negative. But, to be honest, most of the time that's exactly how I feel about it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Joe Benjamin
    Damn.

    I'm not trying 2 one up you or anything because I can totally relate
    to this story. The lesson you learned, I had to learn about 4-6 times
    b4 it dawned on me:

    "Anyone who asks or BEGS to be taught how to make money like I
    do, will NEVER be anyone serious enough to make money for them-
    selves!".

    If they have to beg you, it will turn out to be a problem...every
    time. Sometimes, they might not beg, but they will ask for your
    help even when your intellect is telling you not to do it based
    on facts.

    The facts are often this : NO prior business experience, NO drive
    PRIOR to talking to you about getting into business for themselves,
    have never thought of getting into business UNTIL they thought
    you would be their meal ticket (because your blood related).

    However, one auntie of all the aunties I have IS business minded.

    She started making money on her own and moving in a direction
    BEFORE I even offered to help her. She was already DRIVEN with
    or without me. These are the people who WILL often take what
    you tell them and take action on it because they understand how
    business works, and not afraid to spend money, time, and take
    risks.

    In fact, I go out of my way to share what I know with this woman
    and she takes it by the horns and runs with it. It makes me SO
    proud. Unfortunately, I don't know of any other person in my family
    quite like her.

    Because the entitlement mentality is a bitch to break.

    So, you're not going crazy. It's just cause and effect. You help ppl
    who are like I stated above, and you get specific results. Rarely
    will you be able to take a homeless man off the street, clean him
    up, and expect him to STAY that way...before 6 months later he's
    back to where he started begging for change.

    It's a mindset you can't help change, because it can only change
    when they decide to change it.

    If you were a tony robbins, yes. If you were a psychiatrist, yes.
    but you are NONE of those. You understand business, and you
    and I can only help those who "get it" as well.

    I hope this helps, because it was therapeutic for me to write and
    keep for my own records and lessons learned.
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    • Profile picture of the author Silas Hart
      I'll put it this way. I will never even answer or reply in another thread titled "How can I make money?" or "Best place to start?" - reason why is because those people do not make money online and never will.

      Sure, everyone has to start somewhere, but having to ask before you even do your own research, is a sign of laziness. I haven't met one lazy person who was making money online.

      You weren't born with magical "Money making" DNA. There's no reason why aunt can't learn things for herself.
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      • Profile picture of the author Joe Benjamin
        Originally Posted by FaJeeb View Post

        I'll put it this way. I will never even answer or reply in another thread titled "How can I make money?" or "Best place to start?" - reason why is because those people do not make money online and never will.

        Sure, everyone has to start somewhere, but having to ask before you even do your own research, is a sign of laziness. I haven't met one lazy person who was making money online.

        You weren't born with magical "Money making" DNA. There's no reason why aunt can't learn things for herself.


        Exactly. Spot On. This is a psychological FACT.

        I don't even notice threads like that anymore.

        When I started, It never dawned on me to ask how
        to make money online because there was more
        than enough info that showed me how if I did a
        simple search.

        If I had a specific question, than I would start a
        thread, but that's only AFTER having taken the
        steps on my own in that direction.

        So you nailed it.
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        • Profile picture of the author alanbray
          Sorry everybody but i have to disagree. Anyone can make money and the only reason these people don't is because they are delivered the wrong message so its the people who try to help them with their amazing million dollar a day tactics. If you arent selfish you would try to fix this and help whoever you can. a family member is the prime opportunity. If they become a pain spell it out to them that you dont appreciate that they are bothering you and focus on progress. It doesnt have to be hard if you prepare it right and they can learn.

          You all might like to deny that you yourself were once in a similar position but that is the reality that you needed help. To give in a real way is a thousand times more honorable than turning your back and letting them fall deeper into the the hole.

          Someone that complains about ten dollars is only because they are stressed with the whole situation and you can fix that. Once they see success they will stop complaining so give it your best shot, and don't turn your back.
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          • Profile picture of the author jhornung
            I completely agree with you. It's freaking BS that your aunt a) begged you to begin with b) cared so little about you that she wanted to basically steal your business c) was so ignorant to realize that you worked hard for what you have d) got pissed at you over $10 for her site...

            Wow. I'm so glad that I refuse to help any of my family members. Thankfully I live at least 1500 miles from them - but I've still been asked. All I do is tell them, sure I'll coach/mentor you....for $297/hour with a minimum of ten hours purchased up front.

            They all STFU after that!
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            • Profile picture of the author Hanz
              Originally Posted by jhornung View Post

              I completely agree with you. It's freaking BS that your aunt a) begged you to begin with b) cared so little about you that she wanted to basically steal your business c) was so ignorant to realize that you worked hard for what you have d) got pissed at you over $10 for her site...

              Wow. I'm so glad that I refuse to help any of my family members. Thankfully I live at least 1500 miles from them - but I've still been asked. All I do is tell them, sure I'll coach/mentor you....for $297/hour with a minimum of ten hours purchased up front.

              They all STFU after that!
              Damn jhornung, never got along with them eh?
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            • Profile picture of the author imon32red
              I get approached all the time too. I tell them this:

              There are as many job possibilities online as there are offline. We have never worked at a job together offline because my skills and interests are different than yours are. It would do you know good to do what I do. I then show them the Warrior Forum and tell them to spend at least an hour a day on the forum, learning and deciding what they want to do. I them take a couple of their interests give them a couple of ideas that they could do with them, and then forget about them.

              Only a couple of people have ever done anything. And I help them out whenever I can because they were willing to help themselves out.
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            • Profile picture of the author SDenham
              Originally Posted by jhornung View Post

              I completely agree with you. It's freaking BS that your aunt a) begged you to begin with b) cared so little about you that she wanted to basically steal your business c) was so ignorant to realize that you worked hard for what you have d) got pissed at you over $10 for her site...

              Wow. I'm so glad that I refuse to help any of my family members. Thankfully I live at least 1500 miles from them - but I've still been asked. All I do is tell them, sure I'll coach/mentor you....for $297/hour with a minimum of ten hours purchased up front.

              They all STFU after that!
              I know we don't know each other very well, but from one woman to another, I would recommend you read the above quoted reply carefully, and apply it to your situation with your aunt.

              Here's why: People want what you have, but they don't want to endure what you've endured to get it. So, the question is, do they REALLY want it? Not if they're not willing to pay the price you paid. They just like the dollar signs.

              If the backbone and mentality aren't there, interest in making money isn't nearly enough, and quite honestly, some people aren't cut out for soaking up all the info, sitting for hours, researching, testing, analyzing, they are better off cleaning toilets and wishing their ship would come in.

              Having a business previously does NOT make a person business-minded, or even business-savy. Tech skills notwithstanding, your previous experience with this aunt says a lot.

              It's hard when you WANT to see good things happen for people, and you want to share something that's working for you, but sharing how-to, and taking time away from your business to do for them, those are WAY different animals.

              Big hugs,
              SDenham
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      • Profile picture of the author DubDubDubDot
        Originally Posted by FaJeeb View Post

        I haven't met one lazy person who was making money online.
        You mean the concept of the "lazy millionaire" or the 30 minute work day isn't real? Wow. I thought all of this was about working smarter, not harder. If I have to actually work then I'm outta here. c-ya!

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        • Profile picture of the author imon32red
          Originally Posted by DubDubDubDot View Post

          You mean the concept of the "lazy millionaire" or the 30 minute work day isn't real? Wow. I thought all of this was about working smarter, not harder. If I have to actually work then I'm outta here. c-ya!

          The funny thing is that with some honest effort the 30 minute work day is a reality. I don't make great money, but I make enough to pay my bills. I didn't work a full 30 minutes throughout almost the entire month of July and I had a great month. The thing is that I invested my time into my business over the last 2 years. The initial time investment is what enables you to live the 30 minute work day whenever you want.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ofthemix
    Well, I'm certainly glad someone else got some therapeutic results from this. I absolutely HAD to get this off my chest and there was no where else I thought that I could talk about it where people would actually understand.

    The ironic thing is that she did own a previous business. She ran a cleaning business with her sister(not related to me) for a year, then she got out of it and now she only has one client that she works for on the weekends.

    I'm not exactly sure how that started, or how it ended for that matter, but I can take a wild guess that her initial investment was minimal, if anything at all. Her sister probably flipped the bill to get it off the ground (I'm making this assumption from a previous prospective business venture we got into together where I ended up flipping the entire bill). One thing I've noticed since I started talking business with her is that she's VERY leery about investing money. She doesn't want to have to put out more than $10 . . . in just about anything that I've seen her try.

    I can't say that she doesn't want to work. She has done some good on eBay selling her own stuff, though she didn't reinvest her money. And she does maintain her one client for what's left of her cleaning business.

    I think a huge part of the problem, in this case, lies with her lack of tech savy. Though I took the time to explain everything to her, I don't think it really sunk in that affiliate marketing is a business and there are a lot of steps involved (at least the way I do it). Creating accounts, writing and submitting articles, social bookmarking . . . it's all part of it, and that can be incredibly overwhelming for someone who isn't completely comfortable with using the internet. I think she got jaded, as many people who have never actually tried affiliate marketing do, with the idea that all would need to be done is for me to build her a website and she would magically make money. It's probably partially my fault for talking about auto-pilot income. But it takes a lot of time to set that up, and that's what most people don't see.
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    • Profile picture of the author Joe Benjamin
      Originally Posted by Ofthemix View Post

      Well, I'm certainly glad someone else got some therapeutic results from this. I absolutely HAD to get this off my chest and there was no where else I thought that I could talk about it where people would actually understand.

      The ironic thing is that she did own a previous business. She ran a cleaning business with her sister(not related to me) for a year, then she got out of it and now she only has one client that she works for on the weekends.

      I'm not exactly sure how that started, or how it ended for that matter, but I can take a wild guess that her initial investment was minimal, if anything at all. Her sister probably flipped the bill to get it off the ground (I'm making this assumption from a previous prospective business venture we got into together where I ended up flipping the entire bill). One thing I've noticed since I started talking business with her is that she's VERY leery about investing money. She doesn't want to have to put out more than $10 . . . in just about anything that I've seen her try.

      I can't say that she doesn't want to work. She has done some good on eBay selling her own stuff, though she didn't reinvest her money. And she does maintain her one client for what's left of her cleaning business.

      I think a huge part of the problem, in this case, lies with her lack of tech savy. Though I took the time to explain everything to her, I don't think it really sunk in that affiliate marketing is a business and there are a lot of steps involved (at least the way I do it). Creating accounts, writing and submitting articles, social bookmarking . . . it's all part of it, and that can be incredibly overwhelming for someone who isn't completely comfortable with using the internet. I think she got jaded, as many people who have never actually tried affiliate marketing do, with the idea that all would need to be done is for me to build her a website and she would magically make money. It's probably partially my fault for talking about auto-pilot income. But it takes a lot of time to set that up, and that's what most people don't see.

      Well, there ARE people out there who you can share these
      experiences with other than the WF.

      It would make for interesting conversation and lessons for
      us both if I was in your area and knew you personally, but
      there are business minded people who are in the game who
      CAN relate to this experinece.

      I'm talking about PHYSICAL human beings. You just have to
      make an effort to meet these people.

      But aside from that, you have a home here. It's heavy stuff,
      and it hurts when someone would put that kind of emotional
      weight on you when YOU are the one offering them help on
      your dime, and your time.

      It's almost like they disregard seeing how you're bending
      over backwards for them, and they take advantage of it.

      It's so painful, especially when they never acknowledge what
      they've done and STILL feel like you owe them something.

      So yea, I've been there, and I've had many people since ask
      me to help, and I respectfully turn all of them down or make
      them prove to me they are worth me spending my valuable
      time helping...and IF I agree (which I almost never do), I ask
      for compensation upfront.

      I suggest doing the same, but it's just a suggestion and not
      necessarily the best way to handle it.

      It's okay to want your family to prosper. But NOT at the
      expense of YOUR prosperity and sanity.

      Take Care.
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  • Profile picture of the author Shannon Spoon
    Hey i don't have that problem yet because i don't make my living online yet and nonone in my family thinks you can make a good living online. Maybe that is a blessing for me. This is what i would do if i were you though, find a good ebook that will teach them everything and send it to their email.

    Most people will not do the work whether you teach them or not. They want it handed to them. Stop wasting your time. I salute you for trying to help her though. When i started i had to do everything on my own.

    I look at a $10 domain as an investment that will make me 10x more money. Anyway that is my opinion.
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  • Profile picture of the author Marc Rodill
    Wow certainly a great lesson I think everyone might be able to
    take away from this thread is that some people well...

    You really have to give it a shot sometimes flying blind and see
    what kind of results you get from what you put out there : )

    Give a lot, test a lot & tweak market feedback.

    Clearly you have to run your business according to your clients
    honest suggestions and adapt to their needs or else you're in
    trouble

    Like you said some people just expect to put up a simple
    website and rake in the dough but if only it were that simple

    Get into it you know

    It really takes some forethought and real implementation I'm
    guilty of not following through with myself from time to time

    Happens.
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  • Profile picture of the author ernestlohan
    You can help your family member by hiring your aunt as your assistant not as a competitor. Just talk to her politely.
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  • Profile picture of the author Alfred Shelver
    I have this test very similar too something said above.... if asked I say I will help you get 4 months further than I ever got in one minute... Then I give them the link to WF(it took me 4 months of slogging it out myself to find this place).

    If they come back with more than 10 pertinent questions showing they have done research I help out. If they did no effort on WF then they won't do any effort anyway.

    It's a shame to admit out of about 20 people not one has passed the test.

    It does gives me encouragement that there is still lot's of opportunity in IM because most people don't have what it takes so this market will never get saturated
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    • Profile picture of the author Steve Wells
      Well, I think that teaching and helping people is a great thing, but the first thing I would have explained as you probably did, is that this is not an easy business, or a get rich over night scheme and that it takes hard work, research, time and dedication to start making money.

      I believe that giving is one one of the greatest things in life a person can do, as long as you do it with purity of motivation, meaning you do it because you want to help someone or you are just simply blessed to give.

      But the problem with most people now days is that our society is a "I will do this for you if you will do this for me society". There are very few people in the world compared to the whole population who just give to give, meaning they expect NOTHING in return.

      Giving is a lifecycle, you always recieve when you give, you just do not know when you will recieve or from whom, so people should not worry about getting something back, because giving is a law, all giving = recieving.

      As for your aunt, I think that you need to talk to her in a loving tone, talk to her and explain to her in detail, share your heart and concerns with her about the present situation and let her know that you can only do so much and are glad to do what you can but IF she does not take action on what you teach her, then she is on her own.

      Its that simple, if she refuses to listen then simply let what happens happen and dont worry about it. But I would do my best to clear the air so that there is no heaviness in the air between you and your aunt.

      No one needs to have bitterness between them and another, its just a waste of mental time. Its just as easy to think positive about someone as it is to think negative, so make sure you at least get your mind cleared out about the whole situation. No need to carry any negatives, they never do anyone any good and if she still wants to be negative, then thats her issue not yours, dont let it ruin your positive mindset....

      All the best,
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  • Profile picture of the author theory expert
    Banned
    I will say this, there is a different mentality when your on the other side of the coin. Your aunt doesn't understand how you done it. She sees the finished product, and, she is like, "wow I want to do that".

    You're her inspiration!

    I don't know her financial situation so I wont speak on the $10. Now with that said, my opinion is it is a bad idea to help family because they are the closest to you, and, therefore, the ones who will take up most your time. Think about how many people on this forum have taken years to make their first penny online. Are you willing to train your aunt for years or maybe never for her to earn her first penny?
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  • Profile picture of the author Ofthemix
    The first thing I ALWAYS do, even did it in my aunt's case, when someone asks me if I'll teach them how to make money online is point them to the Warrior Forum. I tell them that everything they need to learn, they can learn for free here. As Cathy said, most don't take the time.

    My aunt is well off enough to be able to take a vacation once a month, so you'd figure that $10 wouldn't be a big deal. And while I greatly appreciate that I am her inspiration, she's said it many times, I can't help but get ticked over the situation when she's blowing up over $10 and I know I've helped her make far more than that online already.

    Last night, I gave her the steps to solve the problem over the phone. I will follow up with her tomorrow to see if she got it taken care of. I'm even willing to call GoDaddy myself and take care of it, which I did call them last night, but then realized I don't have any of her information, and I definitely was not going to call her back for it after the a**chewing I got.

    Once this problem is solved though, that's the end of me helping her or anyone else that wants help. It's go to the Warrior Forum and figure it out yourself or GTFO.
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    I'd send her $10 bucks in the mail and tell her she's on her own from here on out.

    For anyone else who wants your advice and mentoring, I'd tell them your price. Why give it out for free only to have something like this happen? People don't value free.
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    • Profile picture of the author deu12000
      Originally Posted by sbucciarel View Post

      I'd send her $10 bucks in the mail and tell her she's on her own from here on out.

      For anyone else who wants your advice and mentoring, I'd tell them your price. Why give it out for free only to have something like this happen? People don't value free.
      I'd send her a bill for $500 for my time and tell her not to ask for my help anymore and consider it a mentoring fee.

      I've had people ask for my product for free and then find out they never really used it after giving it to them. I've had people ask me how to make a website and then showing them how to do it and never do anything. I've had people ask me how to make money online and then show them and they didn't do ****. The end result is if they don't pay for it, they're not going to do it. Sometimes all it takes is blood, sweat and tears and dollars motivate them to spill the blood, sweat and tears.

      My free time is long gone. I only give for free what I want to. If it's a generic question I give them a generic answer. You want to learn to build a website go to google and type that in, you'll get good results. Once you build your first one let me know and we can start from there.
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  • Profile picture of the author The Dotcom Hippie
    God damn, do I know the type. For the last three years I've been trying to get a friend of mine to build an online business, and it's just been the most frustrating ****ing project I've ever gotten myself involved with. This guy was even really, really keen to begin with, and did some decent work initially too. After that, however, it's just been a total ****ing disgrace. God knows how many hours I've spent showing him how and why to do stuff, giving him ideas etc, only to check in a day or two later and find that he hasn't done one single ****ing thing. And then when I try to get him going, his apathetic little ass suddenly "has" go and do this and "has" do do that, because he "promised" someone etc etc etc. He'll do ANYTHING but work. And it's absolutely disappointing to me, because we're both crazy about traveling (which is why I started doing this to begin with) and I thought that when he starts making real money we can go traveling together for months at a time and so on, but that's not going to happen now, of course. I don't mind traveling by myself, it's just so ****ing aggravating to think of all the time I've spent helping and encouraging him and hearing him say that he really wants to do this, only to never, ever see anything come out of it.

    You can't drag someone along with you and expect them to be successful - not in this business, at least. It just doesn't work that way. Next time I'll help someone is when they approach me for help because they thought of doing this themselves. I'll never again waste time on people who deep down never really wanted it.

    Anyway... great thread - thanks for the opportunity to vent a little, Queen of Indecision.
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  • Profile picture of the author mattjay
    i would have to agree that it's not worth it. i'm just starting to turn some profits online, and agree that really very few in my immediate family or friends believes you can make money online, or that it's all a scam in one form or another. that being the case when a few realized how i am actually making money, some questions started. i have told them in so many words that everything you need to make money online is readily available online. that's about where i'm leaving it. i really do admire those that agree to teach others how to succeed online, however i just don't think i could take the time out of me efforts to teach someone. i'm really not a millionaire yet or making enough to quit my job. plus there's situations like above, i can't tell you how insulted i would be if i took all the time to teach somone what little i know, only to find out that they are just sitting there wanting everything handed to them with no work.
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  • Profile picture of the author jamjar919
    Same thing happened 2 me with my brother
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  • Profile picture of the author bertranddo
    I think its really generous of you that you took on you to teach your aunt to make money online, and it shouldnt discourage you from helping family members, because they wont be always that demanding.. still your family is something really important, and despite the tacky aunty and grumpy granpas, we should do our best to help them.

    Now if you feel someone close to you is crossing the line in the name of "family ties", I ll advise you talk to them calmly about how you feel, how you love her (im sure you do) and what stress this is causing you. This might help her to realise what you are going through too.

    My father isnt so tech savy too. To uninstall one program takes him one hour (literrally), and everytime he takes on a lot of my time (sometimes several hours per day) to talk him through fixing drivers, finding programs or explaining to him how to bookmark with firefox.

    Still given that our time is so short on this planet I always do my best to help him. The situation might be different with your aunt, but maybe try to tell her how you really feel, or ask another family member to act as an intermediary to do the mediation so that this doesnt escalade into further arguments.

    I understand this is not an easy situation, just my 2 cents on this

    Cheers
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  • Profile picture of the author Neil S
    I agree with what was said above. I only help people who demonstrate they have to drive to make it in this business. Otherwise you are just wasting your time. It can be hard to turn down close friends and family but sometimes you will have to.

    The problem with this business is 99% of people out there would love to make money online. Yet less than 1% actually have the drive to make it. Nobody goes to an engineer and says "teach me to do what you do" without expecting to put in a ton of sweat equity. But for some reason people think they can make money online without putting in the work.

    If you want my advice, just downplay your success around friends and family and be as ambiguous as possible.
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  • Profile picture of the author OfferJunkie
    I've always simply stated reality ....that it does take hard work and persistence. If someone (including family) is really itching to get something going, then I would help to a certain degree. At the end of the day...they can only help themselves.
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    • Profile picture of the author mcmahanusa
      I certainly understand your frustration. I have several family members who are like that (somewhat). They are struggling to make ends meet, and a good, reliable source of income would really help them. However...neither one of them has the drive that would enable them to survive online, and unless everything is handed to them on a platter, they won't do it. Even at that, they would expect me or someone else to do all the ongoing work. So I don't even consider helping them. I would rather just give them some money to help. It would be a lot less frustrating for all of us.

      Frankly, unless someone clearly has the intelligence, ambition and willingness to work their tails off to succeed, I won't help them, even if asked. What I will do is point them to the WF, or a a really good course or mentor, and wish them the best.

      A previous poster expressed his displeasure with people who ask where to start. I have no problem with that, since I clearly remember not having a clue myself and (desperately) wanting some pointers. I still need the occasional pointer, and I feel fortunate that I've found it here at the WF.
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  • Profile picture of the author Matt MacPherson
    Even if you teach someone and they succeed, they won't appreciate your efforts. Usually I'm not a cynical or selfish person, but in this case I say you should simply not waste your time. It'll eventually backfire sooner or later.
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  • Profile picture of the author jikanv
    Working with family members is either a curse or a blessing. My brother used to work for me. I kicked him out one day. there was no hard feelings and we are still good friends and help each other in every which way we can, but working together is a no no. As long as both sides are reasonable the separation isn't painful at all.
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  • Profile picture of the author JamesJeffery
    BAD IDEA!

    My brother seen me go from broke to having $30k a month. He begged me to teach him. I did, and it failed. It caused so many arguments and problems because he was not seeing results.

    I refused to to hand feed him. He failed.

    It's really not worth the hassle. You have to have a drive and passion. Just because people see what you do, does not mean they can do it.
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    • Profile picture of the author Matthew Olson
      I've had similar experiences with family and friends as well...

      Here's what I've determined:

      If someone doesn't "pay their dues" and you hand over your knowledge,
      resources, mentoring, etc., there will be a natural human tendency to
      not take it as seriously than if they actually had to work for it themselves.

      The drive, passion and commitment just isn't the same...

      However, there is a way to help out family/friends who show an interest
      in IM without going through a bunch of frustration and wasted time.

      Give them tasks to complete that help YOUR business. Give them tasks
      like building backlinks, doing research, writing content, etc. Treat it like
      a sort of internship. You could even start a new project and bring them
      on as your assistant with an agreement to share in the profits once it's done.

      This is win-win situation for all involved. It gives your family member/friend
      a golden opportunity to be mentored in "real time" by a successful internet
      marketer. There is no better way to learn than actual hands on. You benefit
      because you're essentially outsourcing tasks that you need done anyway.

      If they are serious they will stick with it. If not, you'll both know pretty quick.

      This is the approach I've taken... as a matter of fact I'm working with a family
      member right now in this manner and it's working quite well.

      Matt
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  • Profile picture of the author Ofthemix
    Just wanted to give an update to the situation.

    I sent my aunt a text today to see if she had followed my instructions for getting a refund. Of course, she hadn't, so I called GoDaddy and pretended to be her. The first time I called, I didn't have all of her information so I couldn't get into the account. The guy told me that I only had 5 days after the domain renewal to request a refund. It's already been 17 days since it renewed.

    I called my aunt and told her and she insisted that she wanted to do something with the domain if she were going to have to keep it for another year. This basically translates into, she'd want my free labor to make it profitable. I was pissed and panicked at the same time. I am probably one of the world's biggest push overs.

    I got the info that I needed from her and called GoDaddy again. While I was waiting for a customer service representative to pick up the phone, I decided that I would just purchase the domain name from her to avoid the frustration of the situation. By the grace of the Gods though, this rep told me that I had 45 days to get a refund, not 5. Thank God it was a different rep than the first guy, who would have made me keep the domain. Needless to say, I requested a refund on the domain. And though things are all rainbows and butterflies on my aunt's end because I took care of the problem, which wasn't really a huge problem to begin with, I will not be giving her free info/advice/help EVER again.

    So, in essence, the story has a happy ending.
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    • Profile picture of the author Hanz
      Originally Posted by Ofthemix View Post

      Just wanted to give an update to the situation.

      I sent my aunt a text today to see if she had followed my instructions for getting a refund. Of course, she hadn't, so I called GoDaddy and pretended to be her. The first time I called, I didn't have all of her information so I couldn't get into the account. The guy told me that I only had 5 days after the domain renewal to request a refund. It's already been 17 days since it renewed.

      I called my aunt and told her and she insisted that she wanted to do something with the domain if she were going to have to keep it for another year. This basically translates into, she'd want my free labor to make it profitable. I was pissed and panicked at the same time. I am probably one of the world's biggest push overs.

      I got the info that I needed from her and called GoDaddy again. While I was waiting for a customer service representative to pick up the phone, I decided that I would just purchase the domain name from her to avoid the frustration of the situation. By the grace of the Gods though, this rep told me that I had 45 days to get a refund, not 5. Thank God it was a different rep than the first guy, who would have made me keep the domain. Needless to say, I requested a refund on the domain. And though things are all rainbows and butterflies on my aunt's end because I took care of the problem, which wasn't really a huge problem to begin with, I will not be giving her free info/advice/help EVER again.

      So, in essence, the story has a happy ending.
      Good for you Ofthemix! Glad you got it sorted.
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  • Profile picture of the author automatedaffiliates
    I think showing her general affiliate marketing and spending very little time helping should be fine. Plenty of products and if she figures it out she could actually become a resource. Just put her onto a product she would like to promote that won't be something you ever touch.
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  • Profile picture of the author benrpalmer
    I had a similar experience with my brother. I got around it by putting a bit of extra time into helping him get stuck in with another niche and he ended up being happier doing his own thing anyway.
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  • Profile picture of the author ivewon
    I have had many similar experiences. Trying to help friends and family to get started online. Probably only 5% ever tried anything past what I did for them and those few quit within a few days.
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    • Profile picture of the author jeesteve
      It happened to me too. But it all depends on how we take it.

      if the person is really interested, then I will help him.
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      • Profile picture of the author Thomas Prendergast
        If you taught 100 people and 1 become a success and changed the world, would that be worth it?

        What about if you had to teach 1000 people to get one who became a huge success.

        Would you train 100,000 if one become a massive success and changed the world?

        The point is the journey is far more important than the goal.

        Thomas Prendwergast
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        I have been around a long time on the Internet. You can usually find me @ Twitter and Instagram. I can be contacted on Telegram @ https://t.me/hivekeep

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  • Profile picture of the author Matt.Lake
    It's a shame when they're a family member. It's harder to tell them to **** off!!
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    • Profile picture of the author Ofthemix
      Originally Posted by Matt.Lake View Post

      It's a shame when they're a family member. It's harder to tell them to **** off!!
      That's no joke. When I was on the phone with her yesterday there were about 50 different not so nice things I wanted to say to her. Damage control, it's a bitch sometimes.
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  • Profile picture of the author CoachTomK
    This was useful to me. My advice is to help her and you have to know when to cut someone loose.
    When someone eats up a majority of there day and won't do anything for themselves, it's time to cut them loose.
    When someone is not willing to do any work on there business, time to cut them loose.
    When someone expects to make money in 27 minutes without learning anything about business or marketing, time to cut them loose.
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  • Profile picture of the author Thomas Prendergast
    I have been teaching people for over 10 years. People in my downlines, people in Veretekk, customers, friends and relatives.

    Not all are kind. Many in fact go about saying bad things about me or Veretekk. FYI: Veretekk is a philanthropic endeavor with many of the subscribers getting free accounts, free leads and free trainings.

    I built it to help me build business online.

    My point is I have been cussed at and cursed and threatened by many and I just take it and pray for them and forgive them.

    Many come back later (because I did not burn the bridge) and pick up where they left off. Many, years later all of a sudden, engage and apply what I taught them and make a success out of themselves.

    My point is, most people misdirect their anger. Are afraid and frustrated, and when you realize this, you will treat the barbs and insults differently and be patient.

    Like I said, I am willing to teach 100,000 people and get beat up over the whole thing if just one gets it and makes a difference in the world.

    Thomas Prendergast
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    • Profile picture of the author Thomas Prendergast
      Hi Butch,

      Thanks for popping in.

      Butch is the perfect example I am referring to. I spent years working with Butch. When he first joined my company he contacted me and wanted to learn. So I told him to go build 500 free web pages and point them to his main web site then come back and show me that he had. I was basically trying to discourage him as I was busy. To my amazement he did so. So I gave him more attention and told him to go post 1000 classified ads all point to his main website. He did that as well. For years I worked with him. He was slowly getting it and slowly starting to get results.

      Then one day he quit. He sent me a message (that was not nice at all) and that was that. After all the work and teaching and mentoring he just told me to get lost, and disappeared for almost a year.

      However, I just let him go and let the hurt alone and trusted that sooner or later my friend would be back. I forgave him. Even though I had spent years teaching this guy. Most people would have fired back.

      Well 7 or 8 months later Butch contacted me, we apologized and made up. And what is really amazing? Butch now has major online success. It took awhile, but now Butch is free of a job and the Internet affords him a good living.

      My point is, even though the person you helped slaps your face, you are still doing the right thing and never stop or give up. You are making a difference even if most the time it never seems so.

      Welcome back Butch!

      Thomas Prendergast
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    • Profile picture of the author emaildeliverypro
      Banned
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      • Profile picture of the author Matt MacPherson
        Originally Posted by emaildeliverypro View Post

        I have helped my brother learn how to make money online and he has helped me make more money. He is right now paying his school fee and his own expenses, which otherwise I would have had to pay him, plus he is proving a strong right arm in my business helping me make more money while he also makes a share of it. So it depends what you turn it in to. I recommend that you make your family your partner and it will help both of you.
        Making a family member an actual partner in you business is a disaster waiting to happen.

        Can you imagine if the OP made her aunt a partner and started giving her a share of profit? She would probably sit back, collect the money and contribut nothing of value to her company.

        Matt
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        • Profile picture of the author Scott Million
          Originally Posted by Matt MacPherson View Post

          Making a family member an actual partner in you business is a disaster waiting to happen.

          Can you imagine if the OP made her aunt a partner and started giving her a share of profit? She would probably sit back, collect the money and contribut nothing of value to her company.

          Matt
          Uh...yeah... NEVER fully integrate with anyone. Work together on projects (start with small ones,) but don't go all in with someone, especially if they're 'lost' without you. I have quite a different story on that experience.

          However, there are some that have made this work, family or not... to each their own, you're rolling the dice on either the best experience ever or the worst.
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  • Profile picture of the author steve48135
    Hmmmm. You might have to put your foot down. Don't get me wrong I've learned alot from my cousin but i don't bug him that much. He gave me some ideas and I worked them out myself. As far as money, I've spent thousands, so your aunt should chill out about the $10. It takes "dough to make bread"

    Tell her to outsource all of her work she needs done from now on and say that you yourself actually have to get a job again "cuz this internet thing isn't working for you"
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  • Profile picture of the author pengvana
    The thing is a lot of people's aren't serious. I'll show them what to read so they've got background information (Make sure it's a lot so can see how interested and willing to learn they really are) then tell them to buy the hosting / domain name. That way they put their own money on the line and will have more reason to carry it out.

    People have to show their dedication if they want me to help them, the funny thing is no one has ever managed to do that yet. So I haven't really had to help anyone
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    The thing about family is just about like anyone else. They usually dont really want to put in the focus to see something through and succeed.

    I would love to teach this stuff to my daughter if I could keep her attention long enough.
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Million
    Been there... I trained a friend once on the conduit method and he ran with it and did extremely well in a short period of time ($150/day in two months.) It was a great experience because I began to learn some things from him as well, especially about outsourcing... and we started to share everything and partnered on some sites as well... unfortunately, he passed away in a car accident a year ago (only 26 year old.)

    BUT, the KEY, is that this was only after he followed a set of tasks I gave him. I had him create 20 Squidoo lenses reviewing ClickBank products just to see how motivated he was and expected maybe 1 in a week... well, he had 20 done the next day, lol.

    After seeing that, I opened up the books and he was getting more done than me on a daily basis within a week. A very rare case indeed, and I loved every minute of it.

    So helping family and friends is okay, BUT, make sure you put them through a 'tedious tasks' filter first. If they pass, continue, if not, let them know you can't help them until those are done because they're required for the next step.

    Weeds them out REAL quick . You can only help those who are driven. Your aunt is definitely taking advantage of you, and should be ashamed of herself.
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    • Profile picture of the author Thomas De
      Originally Posted by Scott Million View Post

      So helping family and friends is okay, BUT, make sure you put them through a 'tedious tasks' filter first. If they pass, continue, if not, let them know you can't help them until those are done because they're required for the next step.
      A very good point Scott!
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    • Profile picture of the author Ofthemix
      Originally Posted by Scott Million View Post

      Been there... I trained a friend once on the conduit method and he ran with it and did extremely well in a short period of time ($150/day in two months.) It was a great experience because I began to learn some things from him as well, especially about outsourcing... and we started to share everything and partnered on some sites as well... unfortunately, he passed away in a car accident a year ago (only 26 year old.)

      BUT, the KEY, is that this was only after he followed a set of tasks I gave him. I had him create 20 Squidoo lenses reviewing ClickBank products just to see how motivated he was and expected maybe 1 in a week... well, he had 20 done the next day, lol.

      After seeing that, I opened up the books and he was getting more done than me on a daily basis within a week. A very rare case indeed, and I loved every minute of it.

      So helping family and friends is okay, BUT, make sure you put them through a 'tedious tasks' filter first. If they pass, continue, if not, let them know you can't help them until those are done because they're required for the next step.

      Weeds them out REAL quick . You can only help those who are driven. Your aunt is definitely taking advantage of you, and should be ashamed of herself.
      I'm sorry to hear about your friend. That's quite sad and unfortunate. It sounds like he would have continued to be very successful.

      Your idea of making him perform tedious tasks was brilliant, and one I will certainly take into consideration next time someone begs me for free mentoring. With that thought in mind, I know if I gave my aunt such a task, she more than likely wouldn't do it.

      And the irony is that she left a message on my cell phone two days ago requesting more advice. I have yet to call her back.
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  • Profile picture of the author PeterDunin
    You should definitely help your auntie!My brother got me into IM and without him I wouldn't have stood a chance.
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    • Profile picture of the author Scott Million
      Originally Posted by PeterDunin View Post

      You should definitely help your auntie!My brother got me into IM and without him I wouldn't have stood a chance.
      Did you even read the original post... judging by your sig file rules violation I'd say 'ya didn't, player.
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Voss
    No good deed goes unpunished.
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  • Profile picture of the author Maddi
    Been there, done that, Got the T- Shirt. I feel your pain.

    I've done it countless of times, with family and friends. With people who just contacted me through this very forum. The Sad part is, I've repeated it over and over again, the worst part is, I can tell beforehand who will take my advice and run with it, and who will just drain my energy out and do nothing with it- and I would help them regardless.

    I have gone so far as creating websites, populating them with content, paying for domains + hosting and in some cases SSL certificates just because that particular were friend wanted something to do with Tangible goods and not info products, which is totally on the different side of my business model.

    Point is, I bend over backwards, indulged myself something that didn't even help my business in any way shape or form, no testimonials/review/experience gained [because it doesn't relate to what I do in my business] just to help him market tangible goods, and guess what? He did nothing with it.

    I provided the entire traffic generation training, and he didn't even lift a finger.

    That is just one of the horror stories I can share here, point is, I can't help myself most of the times, but I am getting there. Specially when I see my own time + money lost in most cases, I am learning from it.

    Plus on the other side, people who pay me money to coach them, miraculously turn out to be most successful as a direct result of my help.

    Food for thought.

    Maddi
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    • Profile picture of the author Ofthemix
      Originally Posted by Maddi View Post

      Been there, done that, Got the T- Shirt. I feel your pain.

      I've done it countless of times, with family and friends. With people who just contacted me through this very forum. The Sad part is, I've repeated it over and over again, the worst part is, I can tell beforehand who will take my advice and run with it, and who will just drain my energy out and do nothing with it- and I would help them regardless.

      I have gone so far as creating websites, populating them with content, paying for domains + hosting and in some cases SSL certificates just because that particular were friend wanted something to do with Tangible goods and not info products, which is totally on the different side of my business model.

      Point is, I bend over backwards, indulged myself something that didn't even help my business in any way shape or form, no testimonials/review/experience gained [because it doesn't relate to what I do in my business] just to help him market tangible goods, and guess what? He did nothing with it.

      I provided the entire traffic generation training, and he didn't even lift a finger.

      That is just one of the horror stories I can share here, point is, I can't help myself most of the times, but I am getting there. Specially when I see my own time + money lost in most cases, I am learning from it.

      Plus on the other side, people who pay me money to coach them, miraculously turn out to be most successful as a direct result of my help.

      Food for thought.

      Maddi
      I feel you. I have the 'push over factor' working hard against my favor. I have a real issue when it comes to people asking for my help, especially if it's family or my close friends. It seems as if the word "No" magically deletes itself from my vocabulary.
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  • Profile picture of the author txconx
    It's difficult to balance giving someone a fish v. teaching them how to fish. I agree that challenging them with doing something FOR THEMSELVES is the best way to get them to prove their motivation, whether it's building 500 web pages or 20 Squidoo lenses.

    I tell people - family and friends - to go complete the 30 Day Challenge (now The Challenge) and to let me know when they have completed ALL the modules. It's all right there and they can do the entire thing under their own direction and on their own time. If they can't even do that, then they're certainly going to be a waste of MY time. For the ones who say "can't you just teach me," I reply - sure I could, but everything I could teach you is right there, videos and everything. I might forget something, I might assume you know something you don't - why duplicate the very excellent efforts of someone else?

    I'm still waiting for someone to come back and let me know they completed the Challenge.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ofthemix
      Originally Posted by txconx View Post

      It's difficult to balance giving someone a fish v. teaching them how to fish. I agree that challenging them with doing something FOR THEMSELVES is the best way to get them to prove their motivation, whether it's building 500 web pages or 20 Squidoo lenses.

      I tell people - family and friends - to go complete the 30 Day Challenge (now The Challenge) and to let me know when they have completed ALL the modules. It's all right there and they can do the entire thing under their own direction and on their own time. If they can't even do that, then they're certainly going to be a waste of MY time. For the ones who say "can't you just teach me," I reply - sure I could, but everything I could teach you is right there, videos and everything. I might forget something, I might assume you know something you don't - why duplicate the very excellent efforts of someone else?

      I'm still waiting for someone to come back and let me know they completed the Challenge.
      lol I admittedly never completed it, but that's still a good piece of advice. I had forgotten about the 30 Day Challenge. It's definitely a good place to start someone off at. If I can keep it in mind, that will be somewhere else I point people to when they ask me how to make money online, along with the Warrior Forum.
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  • Profile picture of the author humbledmarket
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    Hmm it does sound like she's really pushing it but who am I to judge.

    Personally I think if the person is closely enough related to you such as a close friend or family; it doesn't hurt to help. But I'd only assist if I can truly tell that the person isn't a freeloader or someone thinking they can make a million bucks just by setting up some websites or getting me to set up some websites for them.

    I'd look at their personality trades and how keen they are at actually working instead of just the profit.

    I'd also look at their general personality and how greedy or generous they are.

    It takes a lot of time and effort to coach someone so it's understandable that many stray away from that especially if their not teachers....referring to myself lol

    Personally I've learnt as nice as it might be it's usually best to avoid business and your own friends. Doesn't mix as well in my humble opinion.
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  • Profile picture of the author drbpl
    it usually happens with me.. whoever comes to know what i'm doing they get interested and ask me about it.. i tell them but no one understands it and expect me to spoon feed them..
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