Olive Branches Can Make or Break Your Credibility

by tpw

Posted: 15 years ago 32 replies

INTERNET MARKETING

In the course of our businesses, we sometimes lose our tempers...

We lose our cool under pressure...

We flame up, then calm the flames...

Sometimes it is good business to apologize and get back to business...

At other times, it is good business to burn that bridge to the ground, so that you will never be tempted to cross the bridge again...

I have done both, and I have no regrets for those decisions I have made...

Sometimes we will realize the error of our anger or words, and we offer an olive branch of peace to those we have offended...

When offered, the olive branch can make you a better person, and also make your opponent a better person...

Life is funny that way...

A man I once considered a really annoying person is now counted among my Warrior friends. I flamed, and then realized I had made a terrible mistake that I must put right. So, I did. We both benefited from the experience.

Like I said previously, I have chosen the apology and repairing a relationship, and I have chosen to burn the bridge to the ground. I have chosen both many times, and I have no regrets on the choices I have made.

Both options can honestly improve your business, and both could destroy your business, depending on the judgment you use to determine which should be which.

But, I implore you to wait until your emotions have calmed, before deciding what choice you will make.

If your emotions are still running high, you WILL make mistakes in your judgment!!

An olive branch offered and quickly withdrawn will do you more long-term damage than making no decisions at all...

An olive branch offered then quickly taken away, will cause all people who have seen you do that to always question your credibility...

And without credibility, your business is doomed to struggle...

All businesses and business people need the trust of their target audience in order to be successful.

And a rash decision made in the heat of emotion may cause you to make a mistake, that could erase all good will and trust earned to that point...

If you are going to offer the olive branch, let it stand unmolested...

And if you are not sure whether you will want to keep that olive branch extended, go stick it in a closet until you can think clearly and calmly as to whether you will make amends or burn that bridge to the ground.

Let the world see you as a person of character -- a person true to your word...

In doing so, people will always trust you, until you show them that they should not...

But, if you show people in an argument that you are willing to offer the olive branch and just as willing to quickly take it back, you have demonstrated yourself to be a person of questionable character...

Believe it or not, you are in the driver's seat for driving your own success and failure...

The person who consistently demonstrates questionable character is one that will fight an uphill battle to keep the trust they need to become successful...

Don't let this happen to you... Always demonstrate to people that your character is solid and without question...

#branch #lifespan #olive #remembered

profitsforall 15 years ago

Good thought provoking post.

I'd go further and say never enter in to any form of communication when angry or upset, sometimes this will stop you from ever needing to burn a bridge or offer an olive branch in the first place.

One technique i use - when angry, write out the response exactly as you would like to. Pour all your vitriol, swearing and bad feelings in to it - but make sure you don't put the persons email address in (saves for embarrasing mistakes), or avoid the submit button like the plague.

When you've got everything you'd really like to have said written out, take a deep breath and delete it. You'll then find writing a cool, calm reasoned response much easier. (well it certainly worked for me).

It often buys you the time to receive the follow up email from the original person apologising for their bad behaviour, because they have some stressful things going on in their life.
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King Shiloh

Banned 15 years ago

Originally Posted by tpw

An olive branch offered and quickly withdrawn will do you more long-term damage than making no decisions at all...

An olive branch offered then quickly taken away, will cause all people who have seen you do that to always question your credibility...

And without credibility, your business is doomed to struggle...

...Don't let this happen to you... Always demonstrate to people that your character is solid and without question...

Thanks for the reminder.

The same tongue that heals the wound destroys it.

The same tongue that builds a city destroys it.

The same tongue that sets you free, convicts you and sends you to prison.

The same tongue that shows how good you're also shows how bad you can be.

Think before you speak; reason before you act or react because your character is much more valuable than all your valuable products put together.

That is, you sell yourself more than you sell your products by your actions and inactions.

Thank you Bill.

I'm thinking very hard right now.

Life is all about relationship - the people you meet while going up are the same people you'll meet while coming down.

Be fair yet firm.

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Marlon Cresencio Cabilan

15 years ago

I think this post is very timely.
I have heard from the grapevine that the guys here at Warriors Forum are getting nastier.
We should not allow this to happen.
We should keep this forum a NICE place to hang out.
A little courtesy goes a long way.
And courtesy means that we hold our peace no matter what.
Being frank is an admirable quality, but too much frankness borders on rudeness.
Sometimes it is better to lie -- than to tell the truth which hurts.

Thanks
2 replies

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tpw

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Marlon Cresencio Cabilan

I think this post is very timely.
I have heard from the grapevine that the guys here at Warriors Forum are getting nastier.
We should not allow this to happen.
We should keep this forum a NICE place to hang out.
A little courtesy goes a long way.
And courtesy means that we hold our peace no matter what.
Being frank is an admirable quality, but too much frankness borders on rudeness.
Sometimes it is better to lie -- than to tell the truth which hurts.

Then forgive me for being so frank, and if it borders on rude, I don't know what to tell you.

1. It is never better to lie... {EDIT: I stand corrected -- see below }

2. I never made this post to tell people to be more courteous, but rather to tell people to not waffle on whether they should offer an olive branch or burn a bridge.

I happen to be one of those people some find to be abrasive and rude, and I don't believe that to be a bad thing -- not at all... :p

Thanks
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Bill Platt, Oklahoma USA, PlattPublishing.com
Publish Coloring Books for Profit (WSOTD 7-30-2015)

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Zeus66 15 years ago

Originally Posted by tpw

1. It is never better to lie...

Oh yeah? I know you have kids cuz I've seen 'em on your webcam bugging the crap outta you when you're hosting an awesome Sat. Night Chat. So, did you tell your kids as soon as they were old enough to understand the English language (well, make that the version you Okie's speak anyway) that there was no Santa Claus?

AH HA! I bet you didn't! So sometimes telling lies is ok, right?

:p
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- CDarklock 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Zeus66
  
  So, did you tell your kids ... that there was no Santa Claus?
  
  That's like telling them there's no Harry Potter. There is so a Harry Potter. He's just not real. And people that think he is real are stupid.
  
  Yeah, my son's gotten in fights at school. Goes with the territory.
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
  "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
  
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Bill Farnham

15 years ago

Originally Posted by tpw

Then forgive me for being so frank, and if it borders on rude, I don't know what to tell you.

1. It is never better to lie...

Questions:
"Honey, does this dress make me look fat?"

"Do you think she's prettier than me?"

"Am I getting wrinkles around my eyes that make me look old?"

Answers:
"Yea, especially from the back."

"Well sure, she's half your age."

"Well, that and those double chins..."

I'm playing it safe and lying...

~Bill

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Ron Douglas

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Bill Farnham

~Bill

LOL Bill. That reminds me of this commercial:

YouTube - Honest Abe - GEICO Commercial

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Ron Douglas, MBA, CFA, NY Times Best Selling Author, Making Money Online Since 2001

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JohnMcCabe 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Bill Farnham

Questions:
"Honey, does this dress make me look fat?"

...snip...

I'm playing it safe and lying...

~Bill

I can tell you with absolute certainty that the right answer to this question is NOT

"Compared to what?"
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- Bill Farnham 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe
  
  I can tell you with absolute certainty that the right answer to this question is NOT
  
  "Compared to what?"
  
  LOL, I totally agree...
  
  http://www.warriorforum.com/off-topi...ml#post3081219
  
  ~Bill
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
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tryinhere 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Ron Douglas

LOL Bill. That reminds me of this commercial:

one from oz

YouTube - Banned Commercials - Funny - Hot Girl...
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| > Choosing to go off the grid for a while to focus on family, work and life in general. Have a great 2020 < |
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- oneplusone 15 years ago
  
  Hard to post a serious response, when there are replies involving Santa Claus, wives and Youtube clips lol
  
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  'If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.' Vincent Van Gogh.
  
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  Richard Van 15 years ago
  
  I disagree.
  
  Santa Claus is alive and well.
  
  Don't let all these naysayers tell you otherwise.
  
  I know, I saw him in the shopping centre.
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
  Wibble, bark, my old man's a mushroom etc...
  
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Paul Myers 15 years ago

Bill,

There are other ways to answer those questions. You just have to address what they're really about. For example...

"Honey, does this dress make me look fat?"

Answer #1: "It's not the dress, it's the donuts."

Answer #2: "No." (Truthful, in a way, because it's really the donuts that do it.)

Answer #3: "It doesn't show off your figure like that sexy yellow outfit." (Delivered with the right look, this can be both truthful and give her the affirmation she's looking for. But then, the right look can do that by itself.)

"Do you think she's prettier than me?"

Answer #1: "Duh. You ain't selling any beach babe calendars, hon."

Answer #2: Point to or mention some good looking guy the two of you have seen, or some actor. "Do you think _____ is better looking than me?" (Deliver this line with a grin. No matter what she says, it ends "The Test.")

Answer #3: "Women like that are like giraffes. They're fun to look at, but I don't want to take one of them home." (Emphasis on "one of them." Same look on your face as in answer #3 to the first question.)

"Am I getting wrinkles around my eyes that make me look old?"

Answer #1: "The grey hair doesn't help much, either."

Answer #2: "Old? No. Smart, yes. Smart is sexy."

Answer #3: "What? Your laugh lines? They make your face light up when you smile... Just like when you were 17."

Feel free to use any and all of these. As a rule, I recommend #3 for each question.

Paul
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Stop by Paul's Pub - my little hangout on Facebook.
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- tpw 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Paul Myers
  
  Feel free to use any and all of these. As a rule, I recommend #3 for each question.
  
  Paul
  
  Paul, I know you don't need any more Thanks, especially from me...
  
  Bill reaches for his harmonica and starts to play a little ditty that subtly tells the story on his mind....
  
  Abacab
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
  Bill Platt, Oklahoma USA, PlattPublishing.com
  Publish Coloring Books for Profit (WSOTD 7-30-2015)
  
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CDarklock 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Bill Farnham

"Honey, does this dress make me look fat?"

"Yes. You should return it."

"Do you think she's prettier than me?"

"No, but I'd still hit that."

"Am I getting wrinkles around my eyes that make me look old?"

"Wrinkles around the eyes don't make people look old. They make people look real."
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"The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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- King Shiloh Banned 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by CDarklock
  
  "Yes. You should return it."
  
  "No, but I'd still hit that."
  
  "Wrinkles around the eyes don't make people look old. They make people look real."
  
  Caliban,
  
  have you ever missed to hit the hammer on the nail?
  
  If yes, where did you hit it?:p
  
  Thanks
  
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lgibbon Banned 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Marlon Cresencio Cabilan

We should keep this forum a NICE place to hang out.

Yes, free from tedious affiliate links.
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Lazy 15 years ago

Jeeze Bill!

What are you reading my mind or something? No sooner than a minute after I apologized to a fellow warrior for being an ass did I stumble onto your post.
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tpw

15 years ago

Okay guys. Point taken.

Sometimes it IS better to lie....

Thanks
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Bill Platt, Oklahoma USA, PlattPublishing.com
Publish Coloring Books for Profit (WSOTD 7-30-2015)

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Marvin Johnston

15 years ago

Originally Posted by tpw

Okay guys. Point taken.

Sometimes it IS better to lie....

Perhaps, but probably only if close personal relationships are involved. I don't think that was what your OP was all about though.

Marvin

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tpw

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Marvin Johnston

Perhaps, but probably only if close personal relationships are involved. I don't think that was what your OP was all about though.

Marvin

You are right. That was not what my original post was about.

Isn't it kind of humorous to realize that the only time we think lying is good is when we are lying to our wife and kids? LOL

I am sure a few women out there might be offended at even that prospect...

Thanks
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Bill Platt, Oklahoma USA, PlattPublishing.com
Publish Coloring Books for Profit (WSOTD 7-30-2015)

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Marvin Johnston

15 years ago

Originally Posted by tpw

Isn't it kind of humorous to realize that the only time we think lying is good is when we are lying to our wife and kids? LOL

I am sure a few women out there might be offended at even that prospect...

Well, I think about lying for someone elses "own good", but then I wonder what trouble I'd get into

.

And I think some women might be more offended by hearing the truth ... ouch!

Marvin

Thanks

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Zeus66 15 years ago

This is a video I made a long time ago, but it's perfect for this discussion. LOL

YouTube - The Dreaded Question
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WD Mino 15 years ago

Sometimes because we are in a chat situation and not a provider/customer situation it is easy to forget that people are watching. It really can reflect on you as a potential provider in at least a perceived way that people may not feel you are approachable or even worth dealing with simply because something happened to cause a lot of emotion within you.

Is it fair. well life is not fair but it is better to try not to allow things to get to you I know these past few days I have had many opportunities to jump on morons and have gotten a nice little post ready to blast em with and then...I deleted it and moved on.

Sometimes your reputation is not worth telling it like it is. Lying though at least in business is never ok
just my thoughts
-Will
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"As a man thinks in his heart so is he-Proverbs 23:7"
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Jonathan 2.0

Banned 15 years ago

Nothing said on an Internet Marketing Forum (even a great one like this) will ever "destroy" my business.

However, I agree that people with character will definitely be first to apologize and "right the wrong." (When it's appropriate.)

Sometimes it's people who never seem to be wrong (and/or are always on the winning side) that I don't trust as much because it seems like they're not being true to themselves.

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"Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman

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tpw

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0

Nothing said on an Internet Marketing Forum (even a great one like this) will ever "destroy" my business.

LOL I guess you sell your wares outside the forum format as well.

Until the last few months, the money in made in forums amounted to Mountain Dew money and nothing more...

Making decent money from the forums has only been a recent thing for me, like in the last 3 months. But still, if I left the forum tomorrow and never sold here again, I would easily survive.

Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0

Sometimes it's people who never seem to be wrong (and/or are always on the winning side) that I don't trust as much because it seems like they're not being true to themselves.

You summed up my feelings quite nicely, on about 1000 less words.

Thanks
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Bill Platt, Oklahoma USA, PlattPublishing.com
Publish Coloring Books for Profit (WSOTD 7-30-2015)

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Michael Shook 15 years ago

<sigh> I've already clicked on, wrote responses to and then deleted my writing on 3 threads today.

I realized that my initial reaction to them was irritation, and that seems to not be such a good way to particiapte in a conversation.

Then too, I have a particular point of view on certain subjects and I really, really like the part of the OP where you make the point that we are all in charge of ourselves.

Excellent post, thank you.
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Jonathan 2.0 Banned 15 years ago

Originally Posted by tpw

You summed up my feelings quite nicely, on about 1000 less words.

Figured you needed a rest. (Heh.)
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"Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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King Shiloh Banned 15 years ago

Paul,

Your answers are funny yet true.

"Life test" is really quite different from "school test".

"School test" only deals with fact (sometimes lies) but "life test" can only accept the truth or you find yourself trying to defend your answers till God-knows-when.
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Marvin Johnston 15 years ago

I'm starting to hear women talk about how old they are. My response ... you aren't getting older, you are getting better. It always brings a smile to their face.

And keep your mind out of the gutter ... I am happily married !

Marvin
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tpw

14 years ago

Originally Posted by Marlon Cresencio Cabilan

To recall ... what attracted me to this forum were the really nasty comments
I came across here when I was new, directed against a despicable soul
who tried to make a fool of the peaceable "angels" (me included) populating
this part of cyberspace.

The basterd got me, and I would have that he be nailed to the cross upside down,
but before I could react, the eagle-eyed nasty warriors descended upon him
like a swarm of blood hungry cockroaches, feasting on his flesh, especially the eyes and lips,
making crucifixion look like a slap on the wrist in comparison.

LOL Some of those threads are the best fun.

Thanks

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Olive Branches Can Make or Break Your Credibility

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