How Would You Like Free Some Mentoring?

by 37 replies
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Who else would like me and other senior members to give them some real help?

me me me me me me me me me me me me! I hear you answer.

Well guess what? It ain't gonna happen - well not from me.

At least not until you change your attitude.

What am I crapping on about? Read on...

Every day without fail, I see threads from people "needing" this and "needing that".

I get PM's asking me to review their next product etc... to promote their products.

Well here's the deal...

Change your attitude - start building some honest-to-goodness relationships and earn the right to ask for help. It's quite simple really.

Whatever happened to good old fashioned courtesy?

Do you ever stop to think that you are asking people to take time out to help you? Luckily we have some very generous people on here.

So what can you do?

Firstly, perhaps don't make your first point of contact with me asking for a favour?

Don't just PM me and ask me to promote your product and then get the ****s when I decide not to, ok?

Then, don't just PM me and ask me to review your product for whatever reasons if we haven't connected before... and then get the ****s when I ignore your request. Who are you and why should I listen?

Try contributing on the forum. Pay it forward and reap the success. Get to know people. Thank them if you find their input valuable.

If someone does help you, or offer to help you. Respond to them. If you decide to move on, tell them so that they don't waste their time trying to help YOU.

Be clear with what you want. Don't confuse the crap out of people. Be prepared to offer something in return. How about asking for something and ending it with "I appreciate you taking the time to... and please let me know if I can also be of help in anyway whatsoever".

Maybe you can reciprocate, and maybe you can't. But that's not the point. A simple gesture like the one above can make a massive difference.

And finally - and probably most importantly - always come back and thank people -or PM them - who contribute to your threads.

I applaud your enthusiasm and desire to succeed, but how about becoming a giver before you become a taker?

Building trust and relationships with your peers should be a cornerstone of your success. Sadly, not many people seem to buy into this.

Try it, It might do wonders for your business.

Sal

PS: I am not speaking on behalf of other members. These views are based on my own experiences.
#main internet marketing discussion forum #free #mentoring
  • I hear what you are saying. Very valid.

    I see so many people, in life generally, wanting 'something' for nothing. Expecting assistance, help and advice, without adding to the collective pot. Adding to, may not be possible for some ( at first) but as one grows through what one has learned, one can give, as there will be others who may not know what you know, and giving is a great way to help.

    In life and in business.

    A 'nice' heads up, for want of a better word, you have there

    James
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    • Even if they are new... simply make the gesture as a token of goodwill. It makes a huge difference.


  • You attract what you are in this world.... I contribute massively, freely often and with wisdom and thats exactly what I attract back.

    My new blog post is called Mothers In Law... Kill Them With Kindess

    its a cute little story about homacide, herbs and unconditional love

    people can learn why giving is all win win
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  • You know, this line made me think back a little...

    Generally, I don't go around asking for help in this forum. On the other hand, I think it's fair to say I did help quite a few people with their WP related issues in many threads. Quite often, people even PM me asking for some specific help when they don't want to reveal the problematic site in public (which I fully understand!). Other times I offer to send me the url in private to get a better idea what help they would need.

    Everybody is very nice and happy after the issue got resolved. I have a big pile of PMs and emails telling me "thanks for the help, let me know how can I return this favour, contact me anytime etc..."

    Then, after a while I may need a little help with something that is not my expertise --- so I send a PM/email.

    The answer? Either a big f***ing silence or, the best, a bunch of excuses why they don't have time/can't do/whatever.

    So, no, people are NOT that nice even if you helped them.

    Just my sad experience...
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    • Many, many people are only looking out for themselves.

      They are not generally courteous, thankful, or appreciative for what they can do for you, but only what you can do for them.

      I see it far too often as well.

      I do them a good favor, and I get a thanks. When I ask for help, I get a no.

      Then they come back and ask for help again, and seem offended when I tell THEM no. :rolleyes:

      LOL

      I guess the world didn't revolve around them after all...
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    • That will never happen with me Istvan You can send me a PM for help anytime. I would never have got as far as I have without your help on my WP Blogs.

      Di
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    • Great post Sal and right spot on.

      Truly, some folks are completely without manners (can't say 'Please' can't say 'Thank You') but I always try to make some excuses for them. The major one is that you cannot give what you don't have. Most people were taught manners as children and they are easy to spot on this forum. Many were not and they also stand out. Unfortunately those seem to be in the majority.

      I have received a lot of help here on this forum and it means a lot to me. I have even had some senior warriors PM me when I needed some help (like you Sal) and I have always appreciated it.

      I'm sorry Istvan that you've met so many ingrates. I am really busy but never too busy to help out particularly if I've been helped in the first place.

      And just a note for those who are new here. ONLY put up an 'I NEED' thread AFTER you've used the search function. Many of your questions have already been answered. Try helping yourself first before you call out for help.:rolleyes:
  • Well said Sal. Thanks for that information. I'm new around here and that kind of information is very welcoming.
  • (Tongue in Cheek) Thanks for the offer of the help Sal but I am rather busy at the moment

  • I have done my best to learn what I can since becoming a member of this forum. I have had some success in the past. But have not been able to build any passive income stream. In the past three months I have been able to generate about $25 or so in AdSense income.

    I have however been able to help others with what I have learned here and shared my book knowledge with others. And generated some 400 plus thanks in the process. But I am missing something in the practice of putting it all to work.

    I had a fellow ask me to help him generate a $250 a month business. I had to tell him that I don't really know how to help him as i have not been able to do it myself.

    As far as building relationships goes. I am not good at doing that. I don't like to butt into people's business and pester them. I do reach out and ask questions from time to time, and I always feel like I am being a pest if it goes over two rounds of back and forth.

    I had a fellow suggest that we might partner up on a project and help each other. I am not sure what I can bring to the partnership as I don't have enough confidence in my abilities. I have never been good at building the relationship, and I don't know how to over come that. Partly because I am quite shy. No confidence.
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    • I have had a few ask me to promote stuff to my list.

      Firstly, no mention of or offer to send me a review product. So they just want me to tell my customers how good the product is when I know squat about it.

      Not likely!

      Then when I have told them the reasons, I get this massive lecture about being a bad business man, leaving money on the table... yadda yadda yadda.


      Nothing wrong with this and frankly I have full respect for your honesty.

      Building relationships should not be a concious effort. It should be done as a matter of fact in everything you do.

      One suggestion I will make to you is this: Don't undersell yourself. People will approach you because maybe they are less killed than you.

      But either way, do not undersell yourself and what you have to offer.

      In fact, every decent person has a lot to offer... not always tech help, but simply some words of encouragement. Know what i mean?
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    • I am slow to build relationships with people online too. Not from lack of confidence, but do to a distrust in strangers.

      Once the relationship is materialized, then it is usually long-term and strong.

      Same in real life, but I don't get as much opportunity in real life to do the same.

      Also, I am quite shy in person... But get me on chat, the telephone or on stage, and I can be the life of the party. :p
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  • I am new here and so far I've seen nothing but kindness. Anytime I've asked for help, I've received it and I am very grateful for it. I've tried to return the favor as much as I could and will continue to do so....that is my promise!

    -Samir
  • Oh and I almost forgot...

    Stop starting threads with "I Need" or "Help Needed".

    Try the word PLEASE in your thread title.
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  • Good post m8. I agree with you about random pm's asking for help. Everyone is busy and time is money.
  • I appreciate your point and understand where you are coming from.

    I'm sure it must get annoying with people assuming you'll take time out of your busy schedule to help them.

    However, if everyone changes their attitude here at the WF, then a lot of people will lose money. It's that needy / desperate attitude that allows many members here sell their WSO's. Many people rely on threads asking for help to provide a valuable answer with their signature at the end. It's how it works.

    Sure, I am talking about the absolute newbies here. I appreciate that people who've been around here longer (such as myself) should approach relationships the way you described above. Really, if you want someone to help you and potentially promote your products, you want to be friends first. Because friends help friends. If I were to do a JV with my best mate, I'd put in 110% to help him. If it were some randomer who only sent me one PM on the WF then I wouldn't really care if they succeed or not.

    Basically through my waffling is: You only really get really good advice from people who you've made some sort of a relationship with. Of course this isn't a rule. Just the way I see it.
  • 3 words:

    Relationship

    Trust

    Manners
  • i think for me i would be grateful for working for free to a degree so I could learn techniques to make money, I acutally did a blog with some coaching but I took the action which is alway key, and your right build the right relationships, trust the person you are working with and have great manners and respect for each other and you have that win win sitution.
  • I am really enjoying this thread. Today I gave away an hour of free coaching to a lovely woman that I just really enjoy helping. She is delightful.

    I also received a rather snipy mean little comment from a guy who I not only gave heavily subsided help too but I also gave him a computer I know longer needed, he was narked cos " Im clearly to busy to chat on skype" that right mate and you have no frikkin manners...... I am not a charity.

    I also got a really long message from someone wanting help, no intro no hello carol how nice to meet you no no just right in there, this is me and this is what I want.

    Its not my buz to teach them manners, i just keep focused on the people who have manners and understand how relationships work
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  • Yes, I've noticed this as well in modern internet culture. Someone will message you openly asking "pls tell me how u make money, plz, plz". Come on.
  • Already I can see at least 4 people in this thread alone that have either directly helped me, influenced me, or flat out saved my butt at times. Truth is, I am NOT one for asking anyone for anything, especially in private.

    Despite the humility, I have always tried to ask 'publicly' in hope that if I was experiencing a problem, no matter how large, small, or edgewise, it serves the community better, and makes better use time for those with the knowledge we seek.

    I'll be the first to admit, having received a 'gift' last week, it was a real eye-opener as I didn't ask for it, nor expect it. This "act of kindness" was a great reminder that people here will go the extra mile for another without the interest of self gain, if they see you are TRYING to help yourself.

    I could go on, but it pains me to ask another for help as I know time is money, and I don't like wasting my time, let alone another's. Let me rephrase that;

    "Time is money, don't waste time!"

    However, I do NOT put money first, and if I were to name the names of those who I truly appreciate on this forum, it would be close to, if not in excess of 100 people minimum.

    Take advantage of the knowledge here, not the people, and that will go along way later... at least that's my mindset.

    In closing, as I stated to another Warrior on this thread recently via pm, the knowledge here can seem intimidating at times, don't let that be a staple in getting things done, instead treat it as a student would respect their mentor, and look forward to how you may "push it forward" and "repay your tuition" to this community all-in-one.

    My hope, is NOT to disappoint, and perhaps has stalled me from kicking @ss and diving in already!

    To those I referenced above, YOU know who you are! -Once I find my bearings, I will go out of my way to help those who have encouraged me to do this proper.

    Thank-YOU!!!

    All the Best,

    Art
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    • Great Post Sal, i can agree with 90% of what you said especially the part about:
      I've seen many threads where the person is begging for help (usually best way to make $2000 by next week) and they don't bother to come back and thank members who have given genuine good advice.

      PS. *deleted* Had my dates all wrong.

      Cheers
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    • I think anyone here would readily admit that, I know he has saved me many hours that I might have otherwise spent trying to track down some issue or another. In fact I believe I have actually started threads here with something like "Istvan are you out there?"and thankfully Istvan has responded and always quite generously been able to answer my question. and by the way Istvan If you could say I have a field of expertise it would probably have to be Graphics which i would be happy to give you any help with that i can.. Well, Ok actually other areas where I have some expertise would be Windows systems and network support Also experience running IIS Web Server and working with Visual Studio. Needless to point out most of these skills are not greatly sought after in the IM community with the possible exception of the Graphics work. Generally as has been pointed out her already mot people her e are vey free with their help and advice. As to the scenarios described by Sal I have to wonder if it's not a cultural thing. I believe it is learned behavior the mentality that says there is a department that is responsible for providing that.
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  • Actually this thread was started at the beginning of October. :p
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    • @tpw Cheers for the heads up.
      Helps to check the date, apologies to Sal ...
  • I should add that there's posts on this forum about the odd scammer which is unfortunate but there really is some great people on here that if you get to know will give you some cracking advice.

    Rich
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  • Like a Phoenix, this Do Do bird has risen from the ashes... all be it by accident.

    Too funny.
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  • Hi Sal,

    now that you mention it, I've purchased one of your products a while ago, so now I NEED you to review my upcoming product....



    There is a German saying from an Austrian Philosopher:

    The two recipies for a relationship that does NOT work:
    Give, Give Give. Or: Take, Take, Take.

    I guess that sums it up pretty good...

    Cheers,
    Rob
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    • Sure thing... always happy to help.

      The alternative to your recipe is win win.

      Ideally it should be win lose. You lose by giving more to the other person. If they reciprocate then it's a true win win.

      I recall many years ago hearing: Whatever you do in life, if you treat the other person better than yourself, and they do the same, then everyone will succeed.

      Get yourself a copy of The Go Giver on Amazon. You'll love it.

      Sal

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  • Hi Sal: I thought I'd chime in here and let you know that the tables go the other way too. Indeed I have asked for help on a minimal number of occassions and people have generously provided info to me and I have been genuinely grateful. On the other hand, I have been ripped off and lost money to people who promise to provide a service. Right now, I'm pretty upset with a high profile warrior who was supposed to provide coaching and products for me. I go the product alright, weeks after paying for them, many weeks. Not only that but as a green noobie I was expecting it to be a 'done for you' kind of thing, since that is what was promised. Yes...well.... not quite done for you - about 80% done for you, I'm guessing. Some things have to be edited or settings done 'how you want them'. As a noobie, I have no idea how I want them. Worse than that, the squeeze page is not correctly done and try as I might I can't get it fixed. After over a month of pleading basically to get some response-I did get a response. That person said, oh yes, I did stuff it up. Sorry. They say they fixed it, but it isn't fixed. Again, I am going on the round of basically waiting till that person gets back to me if ever. Oh, it cost me about a weeks salary. So...thats the deal. We who need help, and don't take advantage are basically sitting ducks out here in IM world. Just wanted to present the other side of the fence to you. It a dog eat dog world out here. And I do appreciate that its important to be treated with courtesy and just basic good manners. But remember those of us who do treat people like that and get bitten anway.
  • I too, am enjoying this thread. I have been helped with every question (except for 1 or 2) that I had and I knew that I would because I've read alot of the posts (ALOT) before I actually joined.

    It was quite obvious to me that, if I were to act here like I do off-line(Very Polite), then I would be helped here. Like others, I too am a lil shy, which is why I don't have a picture up, but I have not too many skills in this business to be helpful, yet. But I have been able to help a few small times.

    As mentioned earlier, it is great advice to make sure to do a search for the answers before posting the same one that was answered elsewhere.

    I think also, you should refuse to waste anyone's time with questions that will take many kind people to answer, valuable time up if you are not going to put forth the time yourself(no matter what the reason, time, laziness, interest, etc., etc) to implement those answers.

    This last statement is the reason I myself have not built any relationships here.
    I have not given 100% in trying to get my own projects up and running. It's for several reasons that I haven't, and a couple of which I have no legitimate excuse for.

    So, I guess to sum it up, I don't think you should keep wasting people's time if it turns out that they are expending more time and effort than you are.

    I hope that all makes sense!

    As soon as I can find it in myself to give 100% to my own cause, then I will be ready to KINDLY ask for help along the way.

    Good Luck To All,

    Joe
  • Well you're certainly speaking on behalf of me. I feel the exact same way man.

    To add to this, it's SO obvious when they don't get the answer they want to hear, disappear for 10 minutes and then I get another skype request from a "different" person, wanting the exact same thing.

    Ya know, this is the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and over but expecting a different outcome each time.

    If I didn't like the way they approached me the first time, I won't like it the 2nd time. Or the 3rd time. And I wasn't born yesterday. Anybody can make a new name and then claim to be someone different. But they aren't fooling anybody!

    So just stop it folks.. lol
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    • lol... the whole skype thing is ticking me off also. Getting spammed on a a daily request. Now, unless they actually post a message, I just ignore or block them.

      Sal



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