16 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
16 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Is this the best self-help there is? it's been time-tested

by kirbymarketingconcierge
13 replies
when your back is against the wall?

when you are engaged in "have to's", not want to's

when focus, on only the essentials right now, is all you see?

any thoughts?

Then, do you put yourself there (by choice or self-sabotage)?

because that really is the only motivation you know you have experience in, and what happens the most?

P.S. - can you keep you reply's short and to the point. drop the fluff, and some saying you read about that you like. thanks.

or just don't reply. just lurk.... whatever is ok with me

#selfhelp #timetested
  • Profile picture of the author discrat
    In all due respect , what are you asking ??

    I am trying to glean what I can from your writing . but it lacks a little bit in clarity
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9678503].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author kirbymarketingconcierge
      when you engaged yourself in acts of self-improvement,

      when you were the most "motivated",

      was it because you had to?

      urban dictionary :

      if your back is against the wall it means you have been cornered by an unfavorable situation with no futher room to retreat and you must either fight back or die.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9678506].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author discrat
        Originally Posted by kirbymarketingconcierge View Post

        when you engaged yourself in acts of self-improvement,

        when you were the most "motivated",

        was it because you had to?

        urban dictionary :

        if your back is against the wall it means you have been cornered by an unfavorable situation with no futher room to retreat and you must either fight back or die.
        Most motivated ? Not necessarily when I had to. For me a least, it was when I looked at the endless possibilities an endeavor would bring to me and by knowing this.......it would bring me excitement , anticipation and much motivation.

        Unlike a lot of people, my most 'productive' motivation was when I did not 'HAVE to' but rather when I 'WANTED to'.

        'HAVING to' motivation for me has been the least productive. I do not get joy when my back is against the wall .


        - Robert Andrew
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9678572].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author kirbymarketingconcierge
          discrat


          what do you mean?

          HAVING to' motivation for me has been the least productive

          when you had to do something; like feed your family, get to work, have a roof over your head,

          pay bills by the end of the month, etc..,

          then you were not that productive?

          wow.
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9679336].message }}
          • Profile picture of the author discrat
            Originally Posted by kirbymarketingconcierge View Post

            discrat


            what do you mean?

            HAVING to' motivation for me has been the least productive

            when you had to do something; like feed your family, get to work, have a roof over your head,

            pay bills by the end of the month, etc..,

            then you were not that productive?

            wow.
            When I was under the gun I could not focus as well and I do not do good when I panic.

            Every time I struck out on my own ( starting in 1998) I ALWAYS had backup.

            That is the best way I operate.

            In other wards I could NEVER just quit my job and say " okay I have 3 months to get this business going or else I will be evicted"

            Some people relish this.

            I DONT !!

            I have to have some side income to be able to do it. And I ALWAYS had this in the past ( been on my own since 2003 )
            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9681356].message }}
            • Profile picture of the author kirbymarketingconcierge
              Originally Posted by discrat View Post

              When I was under the gun I could not focus as well and I do not do good when I panic.

              Every time I struck out on my own ( starting in 1998) I ALWAYS had backup.

              That is the best way I operate.

              In other wards I could NEVER just quit my job and say " okay I have 3 months to get this business going or else I will be evicted"

              Some people relish this.

              I DONT !!

              I have to have some side income to be able to do it. And I ALWAYS had this in the past ( been on my own since 2003 )
              thanks for responding. maybe individual experience and make up

              reading your post I was reminded of an article I read on people who worked on bomb disposal units, and how they became really focused and that motivated them.
              {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9681387].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    it really depends why your back is against the wall ..that will determine the level of motivation .

    and does it ignite inspiration or desperation

    im not really in the mood to explain the difference

    some people need to hit bottom..some need desperation..

    bankruptcy seems to be a component of 90 percent of wealthy people past ..and you don't see anyone claiming the secret to success is to go bankrupt .
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9682138].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author selfimprovementadvocate
    Reading self improvement books has helped me become the most motivated. Especially when it's something challenging that makes me lazy and not want to do it. After reading a little bit of positivity, my mind switches gears and it actually isn't all that bad. After that I feel like I actually want to do the very task I was trying to avoid.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9685405].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author AbcAbcwebd
      I think it depends. Different people work well under different conditions.
      In general I think high levels of pressure tend to increase brute force productivity but not necessarily creativity and reasoning (contrary to some popular belief).

      I can't really see intentionally driving yourself into bankruptcy just to increase motivation, but perhaps there are more subtle ways one could raise the stakes for themselves?

      I know my uncle (born poor, self made) complains about about certain young would-be entrepreneurs we know giving up on their businesses as soon as the going gets tough because they're from well off families and so they can just give up. Something lost, something gained, I guess.

      I've always kind of struggled with that balance between playing it safe (stay in school, keep your day job) and committing to your business 100%. I guess there're a lot of factors to consider before making a decision like that. And it definitely ends up being a balancing act.

      Interesting topic!
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9689984].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author kirbymarketingconcierge
        Originally Posted by AbcAbcwebd View Post

        I think it depends. Different people work well under different conditions.
        In general I think high levels of pressure tend to increase brute force productivity but not necessarily creativity and reasoning (contrary to some popular belief).

        I can't really see intentionally driving yourself into bankruptcy just to increase motivation, but perhaps there are more subtle ways one could raise the stakes for themselves?

        I know my uncle (born poor, self made) complains about about certain young would-be entrepreneurs we know giving up on their businesses as soon as the going gets tough because they're from well off families and so they can just give up. Something lost, something gained, I guess.

        I've always kind of struggled with that balance between playing it safe (stay in school, keep your day job) and committing to your business 100%. I guess there're a lot of factors to consider before making a decision like that. And it definitely ends up being a balancing act.

        Interesting topic!

        abc, 123 your back is aganist the wall!

        there is no consideration, "no thinking about it", your mind is irrelevant.

        brute force productivity but not necessarily creativity and reasoning

        I don't parcel this out with delineations that aren't important, as time and place dictate either / or

        you can feel the cold reality of the wall on your back so much so,

        that your hairs on your neck stick up,

        your eyes are dialated and fixed forward,

        because that is all you have and all you can see,

        your heart rate is racing so fast one's natural reflex is to take action,

        as if, you cornered by a lion and it's eat or be eaten

        so, is that the best motivator in the history of human experience

        or do I contemplate, and ingest some BS verbal diarrhea,

        from some self-help literature???

        don't parcel this out.

        no mixed emotions (as Tony Robbins mentions)

        we don't get what we want because were not clear.

        know your motivations, then buy into them, with no recourse (no return policy)

        IMO - I could be wrong.

        for example : to be truly "successful", those that are, have the basic's covered, but don't stop there...

        they keep driving forward, pushing for that extra stuff. That, above average isn't even good enough, and are so driven they have to try and be the BEST - Not, "1 of the best"

        most want a nice sports car, they must have a sports car ???
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9690702].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Arina
    If we talk about two types of motivation, one is "want", another "avoid". From my experience 80% of the people are more motivated by their "avoids". An example would be, the person isn't really motivated by making money, he gets much more motivated by avoiding getting broke.

    The problem with "avoid" type motivation is that it triggers all kind of self-sabotage, like procrastination, inconsistency, fear of failure, etc. The reason is that human's brain doesn't make the best choices under the fear pressure. In fact it tries to escape the painful situation altogether. So the self-sabotage mechanism kicks in.

    The solution is to find the powerful "want" motivation within yourself, but you need to eliminate the beliefs that drive the "avoid" motivation first. That's what I'm working on at the current moment, the topic is really fascinating.
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9693143].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author socialentry
    Ghenghis Khan built his empire when friends betrayed his family and killed his father and were looking to kill him.

    He had to kill his half brother to do it.

    He conquered China.

    /thread
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9694106].message }}

Trending Topics