How to control my fear of failure?

Interesting perspective on fear of failure.

Perfectly said.

The fear can simply be that you know you cannot afford to fail as it would cost you monetarily. If your situation doesn't allow such loss, then you have a valid reason to be afraid of failure.

Obviously, this means you should minimize your costs. Putting money in AdWords is risky and costly, but there are many other ways to advertise that cost nothing or next to nothing. You might need to just change your marketing plans to the more affordable ones.

Being afraid to fail is a self-fulfilling prophesy, because by not starting, you have failed. So would you rather "try" and then fail? Or would you rather just not try and lose any possibility of succeeding?

If money is not the issue here, then you need to figure out why failing would be a problem for you. Often, it's directly linked to low self confidence. Maybe you're afraid to lose because it would mean you are a failure - that you don't have what it takes. In which case, be realistic. What are your skills and talents? Where can you acquire them so that you feel more confident in the work you have to do?

One thing's for certain. You need to change your negative thinking. You say you expect to succeed every time, but perhaps you really only "think" you do. Underneath, you might just find that you have this negative self-talk going on behind it all. You "say" you expect to succeed, but your inner voice is saying, "...but you probably won't."

Just accept the fact that you might not succeed. Then, if you don't succeed, you can figure out why and fix it. But at least you would have tried.

Sylvia

Thanks for the tip travlinguy, your tip is really gonna help me a lot. And yeah I always wanted to bungee jumping.

And by the way...

“You miss 100% of the shots you never take.” - Wayne Gretzky

That means if you never did anything, your failure rate is 100%. But you reduce that rate if you plan and take action.

And BTW, congrats on those 2K sales!!

I'm a big fan of throwing as much up against the wall and seeing what sticks. Most of it's going to "fail"...but just going through the process is a success.

Realize that NO RISK means NO REWARD, if you lose money relish in the gaining of knowledge and keeping moving forward. Everyone fails, so there's nothing to fear besides being human.

Hmmm.... after reading the other replies, which are certainly good, I guess I am going to be the odd ball here.

Having read a lot of self-help books and such once upon a time I used to take the approach of going for the tiny success. It is important for sure. It really can help you to move on to a bigger success. If you act quickly enough. However, if you bask in the success you can also find yourself doing... nothing.

Also, did the whole positive reinforcement thing. I think there is value in it. I really do.

Anyway, the real turning point for me was to simply look at it a different way. Who cares really?! I changed my mindset and actually started doing things expecting fully that I had a great chance to fail. But again... so what?

You see the real turning point, for me at least, was to just to face that fear. Not try to cover it with positive mumbo jumbo (don't take that the wrong way I do believe in thinking positive) but instead to just face it, do and fail.

So, my advice is to simply start failing as often as you can. You see once you start failing on a regular basis... well, first that means you are trying things on a regular basis. If you are failing a lot then you are trying a lot. Second, when you fail a lot you'll get used to the failing and just accept it as a natural part of the process. A natural part of life. You develop an immunity to fear of failure. Providing you don't sit around beating yourself up over the failure. Just look at it. Find the lesson. Learn how to improve then give yourself the opportunity to fail again... which also gives you the opportunity to succeed. And really I now see both as a success. The so called failure gives us feedback. The success gives us feedback.

Failures provide us with good experience. Sure, it might not be the kind of experience we were looking for. But knowing what not to do is every bit as important as knowing what to do. And you learn what not to do by trying and failing. Again, I don't really see it as failing the way most people read that word. Just see it as feedback. You try something. It does not produce the result you want. Why is that? It is all just data. Process it. Improve.

Obviously, I am talking about in terms of taking positive action here. I am not advising you to do something crazy like run across a major interstate or bungee jump without the cord. I mean assess the risks. Determine what is the worst thing that can happen. If the risk is within reason and the reward is worth that risk then I go for it.

Eliminating fears is actually my area of expertise, and what gr8tocre8 says is right on!

This is what really worked for me better than any of the other methods described above namely because it address the emotions directly.

The key is to allow yourself to feel it (i.e. don't resist) and then to let it go. Interestingly, allowing yourself to feel the fear will diminish the fear over time. Like if you literally just watch the fear for 20 minutes, those 20 minutes may feel like an eternity, but it will decrease as long as you just sit and watch it without judgment.

Another thing you can do is use EFT (but again do not resist the emotion). Go to youtube and search for EFT and you'll see demonstrations in which you can clear the fear away.

Or apply the quick breathing technique that I posted on this forum post:

http://www.warriorforum.com/mind-war...your-fear.html

Several warriors got positive results with it. Perhaps it can help.

The amazing thing is once the fear is completely gone, you will literally feel free to make mistakes as if it didn't matter. This happens time and time again with my clients.

There are so many wonderful replies in this thread. I've received much from reading through them, so thank you for asking the question.

Here's my reply -

You are worthy of so much goodness in life. Sometimes a storm happens and things don't go the way we intend or desire. But know that it is in you to be resilient. I believe that it is Osho that said, "Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway." The life you have come here to live has never been lived by anyone before. You are breaking new ground, forging a new path. You are shifting the paradigms of how abundance, prosperity and success are created.

With the shifts that are taking place in the economy - many of us are creating a new relationship with success and money. You are too. It is through trial and error that you will connect with what will work for you. Trust your inner guidance. Make sure you are embarking upon projects and adventures that inspire you and that you love.

It's simply not possible for you to fail. Every twist and turn of your journey helps get you to your ultimate destination.

You are so much wiser than you know. You have more courage than you can imagine. You have many blessings coming your way. Your job is to say yes to them.

You can trust yourself...

you just have to think positive. there is really nothing more to it.