Focus, Procrastination and frustration
I'm having one of those realllly reallllly bad nights tonight. I need to vent my frustration in a place where there are people who might understand.
Why does it sometimes seem to take me 6 hours to do half an hours work?
Sometimes i can spend two hours doing work and feel like i've done enough and had a really productive day. Other times, like tonight, I felt like I hadn't got enough done. My girlfriend went to sleep and I went to the computer to do a half hours more work. It gets to two in the morning and I have done nothing!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I feel like I'm fighting myself sometimes. The thing is, what I'm doing right now shouldn't even feel like work, but it does. I dunno if it's self sabotage or what but my mind sometimes just rebels against whatever I want it to do. If I say "time to relax now Dave, spend the next two hours relaxing and unwinding" I suddenly feel inspired to do work and can't relax because I want stimulating things.
When it's the other way round, sometimes I seem to find everything else to do besides what I actually should be doing. I'm at a point in my life now where I've got a better opportunity and more time to get this stuff done than I ever have done before. I know I WILL be kicking myself so hard in the future.
Honestly, i love IM, but sometimes just the endless battles with myself make my body a horrible place to live. I end up going to sleep feeling angry. I never feel like I've done enough work lol. If I was in "the zone" for five hours a day monday to friday that would be more than enough.
Sometimes I realise that if I just stopped thinking about what I needed to do and just did it things would be fine. People always tell me I'm bad with managing my time and having a routine but having a routine just feels like a battle with my very nature.
Any tips of how to be self-disciplined without feeling the urge to pull your hair out all day? Perhaps I'm ADHD or something.
Any feedback about how you guys manage it would be massively appreciated.
Thanks a lot!!!!
Dave
Jim High
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