Gold in Faeces 'Worth Millions'

butters

11 years ago

Always knew my poo was worth millions!!

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Joe Mobley

11 years ago

I'm thinking there may be some new opportunities for those sentenced to "community service"...

Joe Mobley

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Kay King 11 years ago

So - sewage treatment personnel will be 'poo miners'?

Is heavy poo worth more? Does gold specked poo smell better than regular poo? So many questions - so don't care about the answers.

I can see the ads now:

"Are you sitting on a gold mine?"
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- lanfear63 11 years ago
  
  A new concept, Bed Panning for gold.
  
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  Claude Whitacre 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by lanfear63
  
  A new concept, Bed Panning for gold.
  
  Originally Posted by Kurt
  
  New show coming to Discovery soon: Gold Flush.
  
  All I had was sh!ting a brick. Oh well.
  
  Gold Flush...8/10
  
  Bed panning for gold......8.5/10
  
  Originally Posted by Kay King
  
  "Are you sitting on a gold mine?"
  
  Honorable Mention.
  
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  Kurt 11 years ago
  
  Re: Gold in Faeces 'Worth Millions'
  
  In "Faeces"? Obviously this is a reference about Claude's gold teeth...
  
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  Claude Whitacre 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kurt
  
  Re: Gold in Faeces 'Worth Millions'
  
  In "Faeces"? Obviously this is a reference about Claude's gold teeth...
  
  You're saying I have teeth? You smooth talker you.
  
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  Kurt 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  You're saying I have teeth? You smooth talker you.
  
  Yes, and I'm sure you're quite proud of both of them.
  
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  Kay King 11 years ago
  
  "Faeces"
  
  Could it be referring to gold in fairy poop?
  
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  Kurt 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Kay King
  
  Could it be referring to gold in fairy poop?
  
  According to Websters, Faeces is a synonym for "poop face".
  
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Kurt

11 years ago

New show coming to Discovery soon: Gold Flush.

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seasoned

11 years ago

Well, it is NO secret that humans have a lot of metal in their excrement. Rather than fix the problem, they are now thinking about EXPLOITING it! When I was a kid, and even decades later, MANY kids had lots of silver in their diet. TODAY, many are pushing aluminum. There IS still gold, though it was probably more popular a couple hundred years ago.

Steve

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Dan Riffle

11 years ago

You learn something new every day. The Brits have a plural for feces:faeces.

In related news, references to multiple versions of Claude shall now and forever be spelled Claeude.

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Cali16

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

In related news, references to multiple versions of Claude shall now and forever be spelled Claeude.

Multiple versions of Claude?? That's a scary thought!!

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lanfear63

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Cali16

Multiple versions of Claude?? That's a scary thought!!

At least they wouldn't be capable of breeding.

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Kurt

11 years ago

Originally Posted by lanfear63

At least they wouldn't be capable of breeding.

Claudes don't breed. Like other simple life forms, they split in two.

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tagiscom 11 years ago

Groan, l bet the restrooms in swanky Hotels around the world that serve, $10,000 cocktails with gold leaf, will start mining operations immediately!

Royal Flush?
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Dan Riffle

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

Claudes don't breed. Like other simple life forms, they split in two.

Uh, I think you might be confusing Claude with his pants.

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Kurt

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Uh, I think you might be confusing Claude with his pants.

Claudes splitting in two to reproduce and splitting their pants aren't mutually exclusive, which pleases the makers of plaid polyester pants everywhere.

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

Claudes splitting in two to reproduce and splitting their pants aren't mutually exclusive, which pleases the makers of plaid polyester pants everywhere.

Hey! Plaid polyester is making a comeback! Until it does, I'll just continue wearing my leisure suits.

My God, I remember wearing leisure suits when I was selling life insurance, in the mid 1970s.
Somebody shoot me. But shoot Kurt first.

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Ken Leatherman

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Hey! Plaid polyester is making a comeback! Until it does, I'll just continue wearing my leisure suits.

My God, I remember wearing leisure suits when I was selling life insurance, in the mid 1970s.
Somebody shoot me. But shoot Kurt first.

Leisure sh*t of pure gold. Way to go Claude!

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Frank Donovan 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

You learn something new every day. The Brits have a plural for feces:faeces.

It's just a spelling difference. Unlike, say, the hair on Claude's head, the word only exists in the plural.

.
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- David Beroff 11 years ago
  
  "In a previous study, another team of scientists calculated that the waste from one million Americans could contain as much as $13m (£8.6m) worth of metals."
  
  This sentence could be interpreted to mean that the waste from different countries could have different value. On the one hand, certainly different cultures have different diets, which could theoretically support such a statement. But on the other hand, we are talking such trace amounts that I'm thinking that diet alone may have little influence.
  
  Other environmental factors, such as the air we breathe and our local soil, probably have much more significant influences on the amount of trace metals in our collective waste.
  
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Dan Riffle

11 years ago

Gives a whole new meaning to "pinching pennies."

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positivenegative 11 years ago

I'll think twice in future about telling someone they're talking shit; it has value. (Little do WC and Jag realise - they're worth a small fortune)
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Claude Whitacre 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Gives a whole new meaning to "pinching pennies."

I hate you.

Originally Posted by Cali16

Multiple versions of Claude?? That's a scary thought!!

Hey! You're supposed to be the nice helpful one!

My feelings are hurt. Now, I feel like crap....solid gold crap.
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- tagiscom 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  I hate you.
  
  Hey! You're supposed to be the nice helpful one!
  
  My feelings are hurt. Now, I feel like crap....solid gold crap.
  
  "Solid Gold" 1982 - YouTube
  
  Pretty funny if you are into tacky 1981 music video shows!
  
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- Dan Riffle 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  I hate you.
  
  My work here is done.
  
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thunderbird

11 years ago

They have my blessings. I won't get in the way on the mining claim they stake in panning for gold.

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whateverpedia

11 years ago

They were right all along. For years we scoffed at all those "You can make a fortune in your underpants" adverts. Now it looks as they were right.

I probably have a fortune in mine right now!

Women everywhere will suddenly look forward to washing men's crusty undies.

So, there you have it folks, the secret to a happy marriage. Guys never put your undies in the laundry basket until you've made sure they are full of nuggets for your wife to harvest.

She'll love you for it.

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thunderbird

11 years ago

A new selling point for gold jewelry will be, "100% mined from dirt. No sh*t."

Man gives woman a huge gold bracelet.

WOMAN
Oh, honey, it's beautiful!
It must have taken 3 whole city
blocks of sh*t to make it.

MAN
It's worth it. No amount of sh*t is too
much for you, baby.

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tagiscom

11 years ago

Originally Posted by thunderbird

A new selling point for gold jewelry will be, "100% mined from dirt. No sh*t."

Man gives woman a huge gold bracelet.

WOMAN
Oh, honey, it's beautiful!
It must have taken 3 whole city
blocks of sh*t to make it.

MAN
It's worth it. No amount of sh*t is too
much for you, baby.

Yes, great slogan for wedding rings,......

We dump because we care!

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HeySal

11 years ago

Interesting and ironic. So the global elite go instantly from planning to cull the populations to sifting through their excrement.

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Floyd Fisher

11 years ago

Actually, there is money in fecal matter, just not nearly as much as you think.

Stool bank pays donors $250 a week for donations | syracuse.com

I'm seriously thinking of signing up.

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Floyd Fisher

Actually, there is money in fecal matter, just not nearly as much as you think.

Stool bank pays donors $250 a week for donations | syracuse.com

I'm seriously thinking of signing up.

I'm seriously thinking of robbing it.

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lanfear63

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Floyd Fisher

Actually, there is money in fecal matter, just not nearly as much as you think.

Stool bank pays donors $250 a week for donations | syracuse.com

I'm seriously thinking of signing up.

But what if the banks closed, is their a safety deposit box you can fill?

Added: Do they pay you in Buttcoins?

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Claude Whitacre 11 years ago

Originally Posted by lanfear63

But what if the banks closed, is their a night deposit box you can fill?

Added: Do they pay you in Buttcoins?

Clever.

I would hate to be that bank's night watchman....or janitor.
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Floyd Fisher 11 years ago

Originally Posted by lanfear63

But what if the banks closed, is their a safety deposit box you can fill?

Added: Do they pay you in Buttcoins?

Sorry, you have to show up during the 'bankers hours'.

And no, they actually pay in dollars....problem is, there are only two such banks in the country right now....so I'm waiting for them to open a branch in Siberacuse.
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David Beroff

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Floyd Fisher

Actually, there is money in fecal matter, just not nearly as much as you think.

Stool bank pays donors $250 a week for donations | syracuse.com

I'm seriously thinking of signing up.

Wow... I feel a WSO coming on...

"Make huge money in your underwear... and even more when you take it off... and it's not what you think!!"

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Gold in Faeces 'Worth Millions'

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