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Santa vs Batman

by Kurt
17 replies
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Santa is a super hero. He can fly, which is a super power.


However, Batman has no super powers so he can't be a super hero. Batman is just a rich vigilante.


Santa for the win!
  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Bzzzttt!!! Wrong.

    Santa can't fly. He travels around the world in a sled pulled by flying reindeer. The reindeer are the ones with super powers. Santa is just a fat dude in a red costume, which, admittedly, is better than a fat dude in bubble wrap, but still.

    Santa was even rejected by The League Of Psychic Super Heroes. Whereas he does have psychic ability (how else would he know if anyone has been naughty or nice during the year),, he doesn't have a cape or tights. Plus every year NASA's website tracks his progress around the globe, and anyone connected to NASA is verbotten in The League.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kurt
      Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

      Bzzzttt!!! Wrong.

      Santa can't fly. He travels around the world in a sled pulled by flying reindeer. The reindeer are the ones with super powers. Santa is just a fat dude in a red costume, which, admittedly, is better than a fat dude in bubble wrap, but still.

      Santa was even rejected by The League Of Psychic Super Heroes. Whereas he does have psychic ability (how else would he know if anyone has been naughty or nice during the year),, he doesn't have a cape or tights. Plus every year NASA's website tracks his progress around the globe, and anyone connected to NASA is is verbotten in The League.
      Which is why any self-respecting person uses NORAD's Santa tracking, not NASA's. Everyone knows you can't trust NASA.


      BTW, here's a list of 9 super powers Santa has:
      9 Superpowers Santa Claus Clearly Has - Page 2


      Batman is just a rich vigilante.


      Santa for the win!
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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Neither

        Santa is a God because of his Omni Presents
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  • Profile picture of the author Jack Gordon
    While children (of all ages) drool over Santa's red jammies, Batman is bringing hell to the bad little boys (and sometimes girls) by outwitting them, out-gadgeting them, sneaking around behind them, haunting their dreams, or - when necessary - just beating the snot out of them.

    All it will take to deal with Santa is Batman packing his batgloves with some of that special green meteor dust that can be harvested from all around Santa's Fortress of (Elf) Servitude in the North Pole.

    Bam. Pow. Smash. Santa down for the count.

    Batman wins.

    On a wholly unrelated note...

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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by Jack Gordon View Post

      While children (of all ages) drool over Santa's red jammies, Batman is bringing hell to the bad little boys (and sometimes girls) by outwitting them, out-gadgeting them, sneaking around behind them, haunting their dreams, or - when necessary - just beating the snot out of them.

      All it will take to deal with Santa is Batman packing his batgloves with some of that special green meteor dust that can be harvested from all around Santa's Fortress of (Elf) Servitude in the North Pole.

      Bam. Pow. Smash. Santa down for the count.

      Batman wins.

      Sorry, Jack. Santa just twinkles his nose and Batman tumbles to the floor, sound asleep, sucking his little bat-thumb.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kurt
      Originally Posted by Jack Gordon View Post

      While children (of all ages) drool over Santa's red jammies, Batman is bringing hell to the bad little boys (and sometimes girls) by outwitting them, out-gadgeting them, sneaking around behind them, haunting their dreams, or - when necessary - just beating the snot out of them.

      All it will take to deal with Santa is Batman packing his batgloves with some of that special green meteor dust that can be harvested from all around Santa's Fortress of (Elf) Servitude in the North Pole.

      Bam. Pow. Smash. Santa down for the count.

      Batman wins.

      On a wholly unrelated note...

      Batman V. Supeman

      Santa sneaks into the Bat Cave and eats all of Batman's bat cookies.



      Santa for the win!
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      • Profile picture of the author Jack Gordon
        Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

        Santa sneaks into the Bat Cave and eats all of Batman's poisoned bat cookies.



        Santa is dead.
        Fixed that for you.



        By the way, did that trailer make anyone else feel all tingly inside?
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by Jack Gordon View Post

          Fixed that for you.



          By the way, did that trailer make anyone else feel all tingly inside?
          Yup. I can't wait to see it. Doomsday is here.

          And yes, a chill ran up my spine, the whole trailer. Four more months.
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          • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            Yup. I can't wait to see it. Doomsday is here.

            And yes, a chill ran up my spine, the whole trailer. Four more months.
            I hope Batman kicks Superman's ass. Bloody illegal aliens coming here and stealing all our super hero's jobs. Someone should build a wall around Earth and keep these Kryptonians out.
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            • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
              Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

              I hope Batman kicks Superman's ass. Bloody illegal aliens coming here and stealing all our super hero's jobs. Someone should build a wall around Earth and keep these Kryptonians out.

              You know, these other planets don't send us their best people.
              These aliens are rapists and murderers. And some of them are probably OK.
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              • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
                Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                You know, these other planets don't send us their best people.
                These aliens are rapists and murderers. And some of them are probably OK.
                I can't trump that.
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                • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
                  Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

                  Santa is an anagram of Satan.

                  Has anyone seen Santa and Satan in the same room at the same time?

                  I rest my case.
                  Well, they do both wear a lot of red.

                  hmmmmmm.............
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Santa is an anagram of Satan.

    Has anyone seen Santa and Satan in the same room at the same time?

    I rest my case.
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    • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
      Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

      Santa is an anagram of Satan.

      Has anyone seen Santa and Satan in the same room at the same time?

      I rest my case.
      There was this crazy Halloween party.
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Futhermore, if you remove the letter t from Santa, you have an anagram of .....


















    ....NASA.

    Case closed.
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    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
      Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

      Futhermore, if you remove the letter t from Santa, you have an anagram of .....


















      ....NASA.

      Case closed.
      No, still open...

      National Aeronautical Santa Administration
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    I jus' Googled for toon material, but it seems Comicvine already has the solution to this post's conundrum:


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