You are the one to blame for your relationship problems....

by jessharv

Posted: 15 years ago 17 replies

OFF TOPIC

Great, I got your attention. Now, do you believe that headline? If you don't, then who do you think is to take the blame? What do you consider the number one reason for relationship failure and how do you suggest it could be rectified?

MatthewM 15 years ago

There is a saying you train the person your with how to treat you, but I wouldn't go as far as saying all the weight is on your shoulders.
- Thanks
- 1 reply
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2043334].message }}
- jessharv 15 years ago
  
  I agree with you MatthewM, but when you consider the entire relationship, your reaction to everything that goes on determines the outcome of these issues. In every relationship, there is always two sides...your side and theirs...Although you can not be held responsible for someone else's action, you can be held responsible for yours...Do you not agree?
  
  Thanks
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2043390].message }}
ThomM 15 years ago

Don't know about other's but mine all failed because the women had to put up with me.
I know I wouldn't want to have to deal with me every day:rolleyes:
- Thanks
Signature

Life: Nature's way of keeping meat fresh
Getting old ain't for sissy's
As you are I was, as I am you will be
You can't fix stupid, but you can always out smart it.
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2043335].message }}
JagSEO 15 years ago

I remember I read a book about relationship. It says that sometimes two people just don't fit with each other. It is not about who's fault, it's just that whatever you do to improve the relationship it just don't fit and you have to move on.
- Thanks
Signature
Hooked To Success -Personal development For People Who Wants Success.
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2043406].message }}
teguh123 15 years ago

Not all relationships will work out. Most are doom from the start. It's nobody's fault.

It's not my fault a thief steal my money. It's not a thief fault either. I just put millions of thieves conviction records all over the internet and move on. It's just how live works. Relationships are meant to fail.
- Thanks
Signature

Moderator's Note: Affiliate link not allowed. Please edit.
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2043892].message }}
seasoned 15 years ago

Well, with ME, I have a few problems there. Whatever part is associated with getting relationships started in general settings just doesn't work.

I TRIED going to classes on this, but they all seem to be run by MORONS. USUALLY by middle age women with horrible voices, an inferiority complex, hate ALL men, and have been divorced at LEAST once and currently in NO relationship they care to continue. In short, THEY are even worse off than I am, but claim to be able to help me. I can IMMEDIATELY see why they don't stay in relationships, and usually they feel they are PERFECT!

So I do OK with coworkers, have some good friends and SOMETIMES make new ones even on the PLANES, but it doesn't really go any farther.

Steve
- Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2044906].message }}
HeySal 15 years ago

It definitely is not your fault if someone treats you badly. It IS your fault if you continue that relationship. You can't control another human but you do have control of your own actions.
- Thanks
- 1 reply
Signature

Sal
When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
Beyond the Path
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2044907].message }}
- Kay King 15 years ago
  
  Relationships don't always fail - sometimes they just end.
  
  Not everything is meant to last forever - but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it while it's good.
  
  Some people have an inability to move on when it's over. Blame isn't necessary and it's seldom useful.
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
  Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
  ***
  https://www.pawsofwar.org/
  2024 Patriot's Award for Service to Veterans
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2045031].message }}
kashifpk 15 years ago

There is no doubt you feel very bad when a long term relation comes to end with one little mistake either from your or other side and sometimes it becomes impossible to rectify it. In my opinion if both the partner understand each other initially then there are very few chances of separation.
- Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2045240].message }}
printing.host 15 years ago

i think every thing depends on you in relationships.. Main thing is that we both should have the equal rights to speak about different matters, but relationship got troubles when only one person keep on blaming and do not allow other one to speak anything. that's y most of times relationship ends instead of solution...
- Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2045588].message }}
teguh123 15 years ago

Think about it, if you put 2 boxers on the ring, they fight right?

The same way married couple often have conflicts of interests. Those conflicts are expected.

I wrote an e-book about it. Marriage is designed to fail. If something is good the market would take care of it. Government just have to mess things up by encouraging marriage.
- Thanks
Signature

Moderator's Note: Affiliate link not allowed. Please edit.
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2067303].message }}
newedafe 15 years ago

relationships fail because the parties involved fails to pass the test of 1. understanding each other 2. learning to accept ones faults and 3. attitudinal change that will convince the partner to change his or her hurting attitude. Simple.
- Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2068041].message }}
CDarklock 15 years ago

Originally Posted by jessharv

who do you think is to take the blame?

Whoever is not trying.

As long as you're honestly trying your best to make things work, it's not your fault if they don't work.

If you're both trying your best and it still won't work, it's time to move on.
- Thanks
Signature

"The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2070097].message }}
teguh123 15 years ago

The blame is on marriage it self. Had they engage in commercial sex, then all this problem would not have happened.

Do I want a personal relationship with McDonald? What about if I stop ordering from McDonald and move on to Burger King? Are we even going to argue how relationship fails?

No. From the beginning, it doesn't make sense to sign a life long commitment with Mc Donald. From the beginning, it doesn't make sense to sign a life long commitment to a spouse.

It's just that due to censorship, and laws, and other nonsense, including virtually criminalization of all alternative, people are trapped in bull****. So, normally, there is conflicts.
- Thanks
- 1 reply
Signature

Moderator's Note: Affiliate link not allowed. Please edit.
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2070132].message }}
- jessharv 15 years ago
  
  So, teguh123, do you believe that the main point of a relationship is "commercial sex"? After the thrill of such a relationship wears off, then what? There, you have it. If you believe relationships are failures form the beginning then what can you say when it happens?
  
  Thanks
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2087266].message }}
matthusky9 15 years ago

If you really the one to blame for your relationship problems then find a solutions. Its not too late for changes. You always deserve a second chance. First thing to do, look and see what you did wrong. Then,open it up and talk about it. Communication is the best way to solve a problems.

I had faced many times with this kind of scene with my GF, sometimes she is wrong sometimes I am wrong but I always appreciated and initiated the talks to move on, this really works and we develop more strong bond between us after it. Especially i can say to the guy that if we goes out of being so manhood and opens up for talks I do feels that our love ones be sure to listen it up.

There is saying that when two shouts neighbors listen so we should develop to learn how to be a good listener.
- Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2089083].message }}
maidmarion 15 years ago

I believe we attract into our lives what we need at that time. Sometimes its not the right match, but we have attracted it! It is our responsibility, our vibration, which attracts a person to us. Just like they say 'we choose our parents'! They are the right people we needed as our parents, even if we don't agree with them sometimes. The more we can refine and get our own vibration & life into good order, the better people we are attracted to. I've been reading 'the secret'!
- Thanks
Signature
How to Improve Your Posture While Sitting!

Camping Tips & Tricks!
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2089104].message }}