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My 4-Year-Old Son, Class Trouble-Maker

by thunderbird
35 replies
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My son is a bit of a wild child in class, whatever kind of class he's in. I talk things out with him, trying to instil the idea that it is better just to behave and follow rules during class time. He conveys that he understands and even adds his own thoughts. He understands...in theory. In practice, it's a different story. In preschool he's disruptive, gets very experimental, mixing things that are not supposed to go together, like sand and water. In martial arts class, he was holding onto a punching bag and swinging from it like a monkey...when they're supposed to be doing exercises. In a group singing class he started loudly tap-dancing on a chair.
  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
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  • Profile picture of the author marketingva
    I had only to spank my son twice and he stopped all that nonsense. I made sure he knew not to upset me.

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    • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
      Originally Posted by marketingva View Post

      I had only to spank my son twice and he stopped all that nonsense. I made sure he knew not to upset me.

      Bonnie
      Different strategies for for different children. How's your relationship with your son?

      My son is 4 and, well, behaves like a 4-year-old, perhaps a little bit more rambunctious than some. He'll grow out of it.
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

        Different strategies for for different children. How's your relationship with your son?

        My son is 4 and, well, behaves like a 4-year-old, perhaps a little bit more rambunctious than some. He'll grow out of it.
        Um...yeah........don't count on that one. I never did. Most people whose intellects sway toward the creative don't....well, not completely anyway.

        Just be thankful you're not in the US where they'd be threatening to take him away from you if you didn't drug him into drooling.
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        • Profile picture of the author Kay King
          Sounds like he's behaving like an undisciplined 4 yr old. Problem is - it's not good for HIM.

          I don't think it's complicated. Your son likes being the center of attention. Many things you've written about here ended with him receiving kudos and laughter and applause from groups of strangers. It's heady stuff for a little boy. He's funny, cute, smart and outgoing - getting attention is not a problem for him....until school.

          He goes to school and is one of a group of kids. He doesn't like that so he BECOMES the center of attention through bad behavior. He doesn't understand he's creating negative attention.

          To change this behavior you have to become an authority figure for your son. You can challenge him to meet your expectations. Provide positive reinforcement but also consequences when misbehaves.

          If you do nothing to change his behavior, he's in danger of being the "problem child" or "brat" in the class. That's not good for him and it's not what you want for him. He's 4 and he's calling the shots.
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          • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
            Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

            Sounds like he's behaving like an undisciplined 4 yr old. Problem is - it's not good for HIM.

            I don't think it's complicated. Your son likes being the center of attention. Many things you've written about here ended with him receiving kudos and laughter and applause from groups of strangers. It's heady stuff for a little boy. He's funny, cute, smart and outgoing - getting attention is not a problem for him....until school.

            He goes to school and is one of a group of kids. He doesn't like that so he BECOMES the center of attention through bad behavior. He doesn't understand he's creating negative attention.

            To change this behavior you have to become an authority figure for your son. You can challenge him to meet your expectations. Provide positive reinforcement but also consequences when misbehaves.

            If you do nothing to change his behavior, he's in danger of being the "problem child" or "brat" in the class. That's not good for him and it's not what you want for him. He's 4 and he's calling the shots.
            I think your assessment is fairly accurate. He's an only child and is actually well-behaved at home, doing his lessons, helping clean-up and all that. It is classroom situations that set him off. That is one of the reasons why we take him to martial arts classes. He is becoming more disciplined in classroom-type situations but it is a gradual process. It kind of reminds me of "Dog Whisperer" -- altering behavior is complex and is done according to the subject's profile and comfort zones.

            It is in social situations where he starts performing or becoming disruptive. The disruptive behavior is not entirely to get attention. A lot of things capture his interest, more than they do other kids I guess. If he's checking it out when he's alone, he's not disrupting anything. He notices things like ceiling lights, champion medals and ribbons on the wall or whatever and wants to know about them. A punching bag swinging on the wall -- it might be fun to grab onto that and jump onto the matted-floor below. But he's becoming acclimated to the concept that his behavior can negatively affects the dynamics of a class and he should learn to apply his inquisitive focus on that.

            Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

            Um...yeah........don't count on that one. I never did. Most people whose intellects sway toward the creative don't....well, not completely anyway.

            Just be thankful you're not in the US where they'd be threatening to take him away from you if you didn't drug him into drooling.
            Canada has been doing that for a number of decades as well. The best buffers against authoritative abuses for the purposes of achieving standardized behavior is: 1. doing well in studies, getting good grades (so poor school performance can't be used excuse to drug a child) and 2. Wealth in order to be able to afford safety from such threats.
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  • Profile picture of the author barbling
    Social situations. Hah. Can sooo relate.

    Sometimes kids are just wired differently.... and you have to find out what works best for *them*.

    In situations where the behaviour is negative, you need to ensure negative consequences are received. ie, starts tapdancing in group singing, he's removed from participating and either put in the corner or put in a different room. No yelling, no drama rewards - simple cause and effect.

    The martial arts class - that's a bit of a trigger for me. It's EXTREMELY disrespectful to the senseis to allow one's kids to misbehave. It's an honor to learn martial arts. If the kid misbehaves, take the kid outside the dojo to miss the class and then bring in kid to apologize to the sensei.

    About mixing things that don't normally go together, *that* is something to foster. Creative out-of-the-box thinking is unique and can provide quite the edge as the kids grow up.

    I used to tell my kids, there are times when thinking out in left field is appropriate.

    And there are times where it is NOT and you toe the line and you do what is expected because that's what our society expects.

    Do NOT be your child's friend. They have enough friends. Be someone far more important... be their parent. Be the one who enforces the boundaries so they are secure and know what to expect.

    Parenting is a hero's journey - best of skill!
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    • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
      Originally Posted by barbling View Post

      Social situations. Hah. Can sooo relate.

      Sometimes kids are just wired differently.... and you have to find out what works best for *them*.

      In situations where the behaviour is negative, you need to ensure negative consequences are received. ie, starts tapdancing in group singing, he's removed from participating and either put in the corner or put in a different room. No yelling, no drama rewards - simple cause and effect.

      The martial arts class - that's a bit of a trigger for me. It's EXTREMELY disrespectful to the senseis to allow one's kids to misbehave. It's an honor to learn martial arts. If the kid misbehaves, take the kid outside the dojo to miss the class and then bring in kid to apologize to the sensei.

      About mixing things that don't normally go together, *that* is something to foster. Creative out-of-the-box thinking is unique and can provide quite the edge as the kids grow up.

      I used to tell my kids, there are times when thinking out in left field is appropriate.

      And there are times where it is NOT and you toe the line and you do what is expected because that's what our society expects.

      Do NOT be your child's friend. They have enough friends. Be someone far more important... be their parent. Be the one who enforces the boundaries so they are secure and know what to expect.

      Parenting is a hero's journey - best of skill!
      The martial arts studio we to is very strict about parents not parenting in class time no matter much disruptive their kids get. They insist that the kids will "get it" sooner or later. Parents with kids who were once similarly disruptive have told me as much. It is not a traditional Asian dojo with traditionalist "sensei" or "shifu." It is BJJ/MMA free form adaptive style. Nothing in the way of "Katas" and whanot (that I can discern). They call the instructors, "Coach." It is disciplined and they quickly plonk him back to where he is supposed to be. It can be exasperating, but he is a small child acting like a small child and they understand that. They actually consult with child education experts on instructional strategies, teaching values and so on.

      I like your approach to creative out-of-the-box thinking. I'll discuss that with him. He's very astute at abstract concepts. Topics such as inertia and gravity endlessly fascinate him.
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      • Profile picture of the author msdobe
        Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

        The martial arts studio we to is very strict about parents not parenting in class time no matter much disruptive their kids get. They insist that the kids will "get it" sooner or later. Parents with kids who were once similarly disruptive have told me as much.
        I took Taekwando and I think it's the best thing in the world for a child regarding discipline. If I had a child it would be the first thing I would take him/her to when they got old enough. Besides the fact they learn how to defend themselves.

        I saw a 12 year old taking his black belt test and when he tried to break a concrete block the first time he didn't do it, hurt his hand and looked like he was going to cry. The instructor gave him a stern look, said "Don't you cry! Break it!".

        He ended up breaking it and getting his black belt.

        Too bad more kids aren't involved with martial arts!
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  • Profile picture of the author mrozlat
    Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

    My son is a bit of a wild child in class, whatever kind of class he's in. I talk things out with him, trying to instil the idea that it is better just to behave and follow rules during class time. He conveys that he understands and even adds his own thoughts. He understands...in theory. In practice, it's a different story. In preschool he's disruptive, gets very experimental, mixing things that are not supposed to go together, like sand and water. In martial arts class, he was holding onto a punching bag and swinging from it like a monkey...when they're supposed to be doing exercises. In a group singing class he started loudly tap-dancing on a chair.
    since when is sand and water not supposed to go together... ever been to the beach?

    holding your body weight whilst swinging like a monkey on a punching bag... hard work and great exercise!

    maybe their singing was a bit off so he decided to add some background beats to the mix?

    sounds like a 4 year old being himself and exploring... being curious and experimental and soaking it all in... it's all good
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    • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
      Originally Posted by mrozlat View Post

      since when is sand and water not supposed to go together... ever been to the beach?

      holding your body weight whilst swinging like a monkey on a punching bag... hard work and great exercise!

      maybe their singing was a bit off so he decided to add some background beats to the mix?

      sounds like a 4 year old being himself and exploring... being curious and experimental and soaking it all in... it's all good

      --Very true about the sand. Indoor sandboxes with spinning gadgets is another matter.

      --He does react badly to off-pitch singing.

      I agree with all your points, but society can be harsh towards kids being kids.
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  • Profile picture of the author barbling
    The challenge with "kids just being kids" is if you never teach boundaries, you end up with situations like

    Police: Dozens Of Students Arrested After Senior Prank At Teaneck High School Goes Awry « CBS New York

    It's MUCH easier to teach kids good behaviors when they're younger as opposed to dealing with teens who were never taught boundaries in the first place.

    I personally hate the excuse: Kids are just being kids.

    Lots of times that's a justification for poor behavior that ruins experiences for other kids.

    Boys are just being boys (when they tease/bully).

    Girls are just being girls (when they cyberbully).

    But we all have our ways of parenting. What works best for one might not for another.
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    • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
      Originally Posted by barbling View Post

      The challenge with "kids just being kids" is if you never teach boundaries, you end up with situations like

      Police: Dozens Of Students Arrested After Senior Prank At Teaneck High School Goes Awry « CBS New York

      It's MUCH easier to teach kids good behaviors when they're younger as opposed to dealing with teens who were never taught boundaries in the first place.

      I personally hate the excuse: Kids are just being kids.

      Lots of times that's a justification for poor behavior that ruins experiences for other kids.

      Boys are just being boys (when they tease/bully).

      Girls are just being girls (when they cyberbully).

      But we all have our ways of parenting. What works best for one might not for another.
      Sure, it is not good when it is used as an excuse for nasty behavior. I guess I've given the impression that I'm a really permissive parent letting my child run rampant and uncontrolled. I do correct my son's behavior the moment it is wrong. I also let him be a child. One doesn't cancel the other out.
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      • Profile picture of the author barbling
        Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

        ...I also let him be a child. One doesn't cancel the other out.
        Very true. Sometimes it's a really fine line that needs to be walked.

        If by chance in coming years you notice the inability to focus does NOT improve, get him tested (not drugged, tested). I did that and discovered one of my kids visually didn't *see* what was right in front of them. It explained a lot of things which led to lots of improvement as well.

        Best of skill!
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        • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
          Originally Posted by barbling View Post

          Very true. Sometimes it's a really fine line that needs to be walked.

          If by chance in coming years you notice the inability to focus does NOT improve, get him tested (not drugged, tested). I did that and discovered one of my kids visually didn't *see* what was right in front of them. It explained a lot of things which led to lots of improvement as well.

          Best of skill!
          Tested for what? He od progressing and improving at things all the time. He has an incredible ability to focus on things. The way he focusses on jigsaw puzzles or constructing stuff out of Lego or figuring out how to play "Everything Is Awesome" or "Beethoven's 9th symphony" on his piano is something to behold. The challenge with him -- sometimes, not all the time -- is getting him to do something that he hasn't initially chosen to do so himself and classroom settings full of kids (which probably has at least something to do with him being an only child with no siblings, a situation which isn't going to change).
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    • Profile picture of the author discrat
      Originally Posted by barbling View Post

      The challenge with "kids just being kids" is if you never teach boundaries, you end up with situations like

      Police: Dozens Of Students Arrested After Senior Prank At Teaneck High School Goes Awry « CBS New York

      It's MUCH easier to teach kids good behaviors when they're younger as opposed to dealing with teens who were never taught boundaries in the first place.

      I personally hate the excuse: Kids are just being kids.

      Lots of times that's a justification for poor behavior that ruins experiences for other kids.

      Boys are just being boys (when they tease/bully).

      Girls are just being girls (when they cyberbully).

      But we all have our ways of parenting. What works best for one might not for another.

      I know being a dad of two young girls has brought out a side to me that I never knew existed.

      Iam more sensitive to the female species and the crap they have to put up with in their Lives, young and old alike.

      You really become more attuned to females and is really amazing how you just naturally root on females in a general sense.

      I have become so less judgmental of females, like a thousand percent less

      I have 4 brothers. My parents have all Grandsons except for my two girls. And my parents had all brothers. So0 we are a 'male' based family.

      I have to be honest the other day we were at the park sandbox and this unruly boy kept throwing sand in my youngest daughter's eyes. Over and over and the Mom was off talking to another woman at the picnic with no supervision.

      I know this sounds pretty bad but it is just a hint if you do not know already........for you parents who have sons who act really horribly unruly around our daughters ( and you just ignore it or shrug it off and say boys will be boys ) well honestly you do not even want to know what the Dad's of those helpless girls are thinking

      I have to continually remind myself, 'Deep breath Rob, Deep Breath' LOL
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  • Profile picture of the author barbling
    If when he's older he cannot focus as required in school, get him tested for visual-spatial issues, learning styles, etc.etc.etc.etc.

    It's not a negative whatsoever.

    But knowing the best ways one child learns - that's priceless. Some kids require additional help (ie, peer notes, sitting in the front center row, being allowed to take photos of the blackboard for study assistance, etc.etc.etc.).

    And if you have tests done, you then have a case to request additional resources from the school.

    As a side note, I found

    18 Things Highly Creative People Do Differently

    fascinating. My personal favorite skill listed there:

    They always connect the dots.

    Always cherish the creativity. My kid who was tested... turns out said kid is the most carbon-copy of me out of all of my children.

    If only I had known (okay my folks) back when I was a kid.... things might have been a bit different.

    'Twas quite character-building to connect *those* dots, aye?
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  • Profile picture of the author derekwong28
    Adam, I have been following your threads on your son. His behavior is uncannily like my younger daughter at 4 years old. This is from being disruptive in every playgroup to flashes of creativity and intelligence. It could be that your son is a gifted child who quickly becomes bored. But there could be something else such as hyperactivity. In my daughter's case, she was diagnosed as having Asperger 's syndrome as well as being gifted and hyperactive.

    However, she is a terror at home as well as at school. Some of it has to do with intense jealousy of her older sister who is autistic. She is 10 now but continues to stand out at school as probably the naughtiest in her year. Her biggest problem was doing her homework. We have also noticed that her circle of friends have grown smaller and smaller. A couple of years ago, she performed badly at school and was given an IQ test. She scored 147 which was one of the highest ever seen at her school. She continued not doing that well in her exams until the last set. That was when she suddenly shot up and came first in Maths in her year and also did well in other subjects. But she continues to be a terror at home.

    I think her problems are made by her school which is known for promoting gifted children. They push children as far as possible academically and I just cannot believe how difficult their syllabus is. It is the homework that caused us the most problems. I thought of pulling her out several times. The only reason why we choose that school was that it was the only one that accepted her. I would really have preferred a school that focus less on academic matters and more on personal behavior.

    I would recommend that you see a child psychologist and get an IQ test done at some stage. That is preferably before he enters primary school. Going to the wrong school with the wrong teaching methods can make things much worse. I would also listen to other people's advice in this thread concerning discipline. This is what child psychologists have been telling us as well. There are some situations that you should not and must not yield. Rather than growing out of it, her behavior has actually become worse in some ways.

    Derek
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  • Profile picture of the author garyv
    For the first 10 years of his life, my first son was an only child. We had many of the same issues as you're having now.

    First - disciplining him is very hard and not very effective when you're so far removed from the problem. Like your son, my son would behave rather well at home, and then act up when at school. At first I didn't believe it. I thought maybe something was wrong with the teacher or other kids in the class. I finally realized otherwise when his birthday came around and we had many of his classmates over for a birthday party. My son had become the class brat.

    It was easily remedied though by the planning of several play dates at our house. We'd have several kids over to play, and thus we were able to discipline him as it was happening. When a kid is that young, a full day for us is probably like a week or a month to him. So waiting to discipline him after school becomes less effective.

    And discipline need not involve spanking. Discipline literally means to teach. I'm not against spanking - in life threatening situations like running out into the road, I'd use it in a heartbeat. But for normal discipline (teaching) - using a spanking can teach a kid that putting your hands on someone else is a way to get them to do what you want.

    Most kids will learn if you stop their behavior while it's happening and show them the right way to behave. It won't happen right away, behavior is a repetitive learning process. But you have to see it if you want to change it. Don't trust his teachers to handle it, and don't ever let them talk you into drugs without multiple opinions.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      It is in social situations where he starts performing or becoming disruptive. The disruptive behavior is not entirely to get attention. A lot of things capture his interest, more than they do other kids I guess. If he's checking it out when he's alone, he's not disrupting anything. He notices things like ceiling lights, champion medals and ribbons on the wall or whatever and wants to know about them.
      Exactly - in "SOCIAL SITUATIONS" where people aren't looking at HIM unless he's disruptive. All kids have interest in the things around them and parents patiently explain the value of this or that or why something is red or blue or shiny. He's an only child so when you are out with him he can chatter all day and has YOUR full attention and he's used to that. If your attention wavers all he has to do is point out "something interesting" and you are fully engaged with him again.

      My sons were in martial arts classes when they were young and I don't recall a single time when more than a moment of "disruption" was tolerated in those classes by the martial arts instructors. It was great discipline but it didn't necessarily translate to discipline outside class for the younger kids.

      altering behavior is complex and is done according to the subject's profile and comfort zones.
      Altering the behavior of a 4 year old isn't complex at all. It means setting boundaries - letting him know when he's gone too far and teaching him how to stop himself before he goes too far.

      I'm sure you have rules for him - but I don't think you've put many limits on him. There's no reason to when you are with him and the only important thing is doing what makes him happy.

      As Derek pointed out - sometimes there are serious reasons that a child is not able to fit into group situations. In the case of your son I'd bet his only problem is being the center of attention and thus a showoff. With his personality he could be a leader in the class IF he learns to control his behavior and accepts the necessity of behavior well in class.

      If there is a behavioral problem you need to know about it sooner rather than later. You won't know if it's a problem or bad habits until you apply discipline and see if your son is capable of following instructions rather than suggestions.

      Parents who rarely spank don't do it to hurt a child - they do it to get his attention so he knows they are serious. Expressing disappointment and disapproval in their behavior worked as well for me as a swat on the backside.
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    My sense is that he is a normal four year old boy.
    All four year olds need teaching.

    I don't agree with the MMA school being strict
    about parents not parenting. They should work
    with the parents. Ditto for regular schools. You
    might look at other martial arts schools - maybe
    the more traditional types.

    I strongly agree with Gary's idea about planned
    social events so he's gets used to playing with
    others in a setting you can control, and parent him
    as the moment dictates.

    Given the comparison you made to dog whisperers,
    I think you have a handle on finding avenues for
    his personality and proper growth and development.

    Dan
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  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    When my daughter is young it seemed like she listened to other adults more than my wife and me and that worked out great during preschool, Ty-Quon-Do classes and any other group setting.

    She's now finishing up her sophomore year in high school, has super grades, is on the debating team and the theatre production staff, does not really want a boyfriend (not after witnessing all the consternation of other girls - among other things)...

    ... and only hangs out with friends at the movies or other functions in which some parent drops them off and picks them up -or hangs around - till they're done having their fun.

    She went to Europe during this recent Easter break with about 30 classmates and about 8 teachers and saw a drug deal going down and even a gang fight in Munich.

    We talked a couple times during the week but did trade a text or two each day.

    Boy, was I worried - especially when I found out that the teenagers would get about 2 hours of free time every day - over there, and would not have a chaperone. (but the area they could hang out in such as downtown areas - was very limited)

    Needless to say I was very happy to pick her up at the airport when the trip was over.

    Most of her teachers say she seems to be wise beyond her years and she gets their jokes and references more often than most of the other students.

    My only problem with her is her eating habits, no, she's not close to fat or even pleasantly plump or thick, but her choice of what she'll eat for dinner is very limited and she's also a teenage little miss know-it-all.

    But she still can't beat me at Jeopardy.

    Nothing personal, but I'd closely monitor your son and gently try to change his behavior because sooner or later he's going to have to "get with the program" in social settings like school etc. and the sooner the better.

    All The Best To You & Yours!

    TL
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      She's now finishing up her sophomore year in high school, has super grades, is on the debating team and the theatre production staff, does not really want a boyfriend (not after witnessing all the consternation of other girls - among other things)...

      ... and only hangs out with friends at the movies or other functions in which some parent drops them off and picks them up -or hangs around.
      Obviously you and your wife do a lot RIGHT. The biggest problem being a parent is you don't know how you are doing until it's too late for a do-over.

      It's a true accomplishment to raise a daughter these days who is not consumed with boys and learns from what she sees happening to her friends.
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      • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        Obviously you and your wife do a lot RIGHT. The biggest problem being a parent is you don't know how you are doing until it's too late for a do-over.

        It's a true accomplishment to raise a daughter these days who is not consumed with boys and learns from what she sees happening to her friends.
        All any parents can do is to do their best and hope for the best.
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        • Profile picture of the author barbling
          Originally Posted by TLTheLiberator View Post

          All any parents can do is to do their best and hope for the best.
          So so true.

          My favorite quote about parenting is:

          "Nobody woke up one morning and said, Jeepers! Let's go screw up the kids today!"

          'Tis always a hero's journey.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    I appreciate the experiences and insights shared here. I am helping him correct his behavior, helping him actually understand that it is in his interest and the interest of other kids in a class (as well as the instructor, lol) not to disrupt it.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    Here he is!

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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      He is so cute - and always with the little smile.

      I guess I've given the impression that I'm a really permissive parent letting my child run rampant and uncontrolled.
      I don't think for a minute that you allow that. I think when you call him on behavior he probably has a reasonable (to him) explanation for what he did. It's easy to understand why a little guy does something - and they learn to blow smoke so you end up laughing instead of correcting them. Kids are smart.
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    • Profile picture of the author barbling
      Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

      Here he is!
      Utterly adorable!
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    It's tough. You've gotta get him to understand he can't be disruptive while trying to preserve that sense of exploration and creativity. Lot's of parents completely kill the spontaneity in their kids by overreacting and end up killing their spirit. I sense you'll not do that. I think lots of nurturing daddy-son talks are in order.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    We'll probably enroll our son in a Montesorri school. It would probably play out better for him with his tendency to enthusiastically and vigorously learn about things as he chooses while not responding so well when it is imposed on him by others.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      I think that might be the perfect match for him and think he would enjoy the structure more than a "standard" classroom.
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    • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
      Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

      We'll probably enroll our son in a Montesorri school. It would probably play out better for him with his tendency to enthusiastically and vigorously learn about things as he chooses while not responding so well when it is imposed on him by others.

      My kid went to a Montesorri school and it was great. It should work out well for your son.
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  • Profile picture of the author derekwong28
    I think it is a good idea. I don't think your son will adapt well in a school with conventional teaching methods. He will possibly need extra attention from teachers.

    Just to show what sort of problems we are still having with our daughter. Just yesterday, she tried doing somersaults on a seat at a restaurant and started to run around. This was quite embarrassing as she was already 10 but behaving like a 3-4 year old. The manageress came round and asked us whether she was hyperactive. We nodded and the manageress than offered her a free fizzy drink if she would sit still. If she didn't, she would have to wash the dishes. My daughter sat still and got the drink. Still this was not what we would like to see as that was rewarding bad behavior. Still this has happened several times before and I suppose restaurants and planes want to deal with disruptive behavior ASAP.

    On the bright side, she will be presented with an award at her school tomorrow for the most improved academically during the year. Parents of her classmates would probably be very surprised as she is known for being disruptive.
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  • Profile picture of the author ErinWalsh
    I think you've come upon the solution to your issues. Those classes are structured in such a way your kid gets extra attention and then he also learns to interact effectively with groups. Also, who wouldn't want to go to a Montesorri school?

    I had some similar issues to your son once I got into a school setting. Turned out I had learning disabilities and the teachers didn't care to change their teaching styles to something that would work for me. So I was VERY disruptive. Why not? I wasn't able to follow the lessons, so was bored. With the new school you won't have that problem, they'll tailor their teaching to his learning style.
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