I need some "Girl Advice"

11 years ago

Um.........he held a loaded gun to her head and she still talks to him? Holy cow. Get the F*** out of there, dude. A guy like that might just come after you. Sounds like she's teasing him or just can't let go and either way - that's not a sign of mental stability. Go find someone who wants to be with you. We all have that one in the past that will always have a special place. But the normal person leaves them in their place....the past. This woman is trouble. Period.

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KingRoyal

11 years ago

As far as the Gun situation, thats one of the biggest reasons why she left him. I think shes more Naive when it comes to leading him on.

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Kay King 11 years ago

What is wrong with YOU that you stay with a woman acting like this? It's not jealousy but priorities. It's not up to you to 'separate them' - it's up to her.

She is playing with fire by leading on a man she knows is volatile and still involved with her. Maybe she likes the adoration but it shows a lack of concern for your relationship and no concern for the emotional stability of the ex.

She's trouble - move on.
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HeySal

11 years ago

She's not naive. She hasn't decided whether they're done or not. Obviously, she's not feeling a total commitment to you and she might be putting YOU in danger of retalliation from a lunatic.

I think you already know the right answer. Making excuses for this situation isn't going to do a darned thing for you. The fact is, you're not first in line or she wouldn't be on the phone. Get a grip and get out.

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BigFrank

Banned 11 years ago

I would suggest that you gain a little self-respect, self-confidence and self-love and move on with your life. Pardon my harshness but you are dealing with a nut job. Run like hell. The life you save may be your own.

Cheers. - Frank

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graeme_pc

11 years ago

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

Read your original post again, but from the point of view of being asked for advice by someone in an internet marketing forum

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Richard Van 11 years ago

I'd get a gun then I'd pack, then I'd get the hell out of there.

Be with someone committed to you only, not some poxy nutcase ex.

No normal girl would go near a man that put a shooter to her head, unless she's lying in which case the advice remains the same.
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seasoned

11 years ago

Pink,

There IS something wrong with your girlfriend. Maybe she is the kind that likes teasing males, and thinks that SHE can control it, etc... I think everyone here knows that WON'T be the case.

Meanwhile, HE wants a kind of "fix", but with circumstances the way they are, he almost certainly won't stop with that. You KNOW he is unstable, and likely a killer, because he held a gun to her head.

I will NEVER understand why so many women love such guys or why so many guys will so freely risk so much, but this almost always ends the same way. Most that don't end up a way that some would say is WORSE!

I know it is hard, but the most sane and best thing to do is leave your girlfriend and not let her know where you are going. If YOU live there, hopefully she didn't use your computer. If she did, and you have evidence, let the police know. Get the various info wiped off the computer, change the IP, etc.... Get your girlfriend out, and plan on moving.

It WOULD be nice if you knew all she said, but you don't. She may have sent her ex a picture of you, and said she loves you too much to leave you, etc... The other guy could hate your guts and see you as a threat.

Steve

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Dan Riffle

11 years ago

Pink, I'm going to ask you one question. I want you to think logically about this. Remove all emotion from your response: What type of woman would still talk to a former lover who held a gun to her head and do you really want to spend your life with that type of person?

You've only been with her three months and she's already showing Level Red batshittiness. Imagine what it'll be like two years down the road. She'll have you contemplating rope and rafters by then.

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Richard Van

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Pink, I'm going to ask you one question. I want you to think logically about this. Remove all emotion from your response: What type of woman would still talk to a former lover who held a gun to her head and do you really want to spend your life with that type of person?

You've only been with her three months and she's already showing Level Red batshittiness. Imagine what it'll be like two years down the road. She'll have you contemplating rope and rafters by then.

Sorry to add to your splendid post Dan but....what sort of woman still talks to a former lover that held a gun to her head and now is asking for nude pictures, kisses and she flat out told you he will always have a small place in her heart?

I feel for you because you're clearly in love with her, love is blind though and it's blinding you sadly.

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bizgrower

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Richard Van

Sorry to add to your splendid post Dan but....what sort of woman still talks to a former lover that held a gun to her head and now is asking for nude pictures, kisses and she flat out told you he will always have a small place in her heart?

I feel for you because you're clearly in love with her, love is blind though and it's blinding you sadly.

Three months is not real love. Probably just good enough sex leading to the
OP's hormonal derangement and blindness.

OP - Sorry to be blunt and for my rare use of sarcasm in my previous post,
but you need to get away from this female who would endanger you. And, you
need to examine why you would even think twice about continuing a romance
with this type of female.

Note: there is a very large distinction between just being born a female and
becoming a real woman who should marry and have children. Ditto for the
distinction between being born male and becoming a real man.

Good luck.

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sbucciarel

Banned 11 years ago

Let's see ... she still gives him the time of day after having a gun held to her head. There's obviously something she doesn't want to let go of. I don't think there's a place in a solid relationship for this kind of secondary relationship, especially since there's so much chatter and he is obviously trying to get her back. I think it shows a lack of respect for the relationship the two of you have.

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bizgrower

11 years ago

If I had a daughter, I'd for sure want her to hang out
with a guy who points a gun to her head. And, I'd for sure
want her to be the kind of woman who thinks that is acceptable.

That's also the kind of woman I want to hang with and marry
and have a bunch of children with. Maybe even have all
her ex-boyfriends over for lunch sometimes. Oh, and let them
bring their guns too.

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

I will be confronting her tomorrow about it, however, how do you suggest I keep tollerating this. Is it foolish of me to tollerate her communication with this guy, or should I try to sperate them? Ive have never been a person to seperate people in the spite of jelousy.

All of these questions are wrong.

Don't try to separate them. don't be jealous. Get out now. He's crazy, and she is a loon.

Don't make a dramatic exit. Don't argue. She'll go back to him, and then you'll be the bad guy. Then you'll have a guy, that's used to pointing loaded guns at people...wanting to prove to her how much he loves her.

I'm not kidding. Leave. She is toxic.

I used to be married to a woman that loved jealousy, drama, conflict. To her, it was romantic. My life was a living hell.

Notice that nobody is saying "Well, give her a chance"?

Because there is no way this is going to work out.

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Kay King

11 years ago

Love may be blind - but it doesn't need to be stupid. I notice the OP hasn't replied again...no response to common sense?

There is a wuss factor in this thread that blows me away. Why would any self-respecting man stay with a woman who acts like this?

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seasoned

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

Love may be blind - but it doesn't need to be stupid. I notice the OP hasn't replied again...no response to common sense?

There is a wuss factor in this thread that blows me away. Why would any self-respecting man stay with a woman who acts like this?

POINT MADE! I AGREE! NOW, can YOU answer a question for ME? Why would ANY self respecting woman want to stay with EITHER!?!?!? If I put myself in her place.....

1. I would LOATHE the first guy for even AIMING a gun at me, or being so careless! I doubt most men would even THINK of hitting a woman, much less shooting her. Unfortunately, it seems that many women seem attracted to those that WOULD!
2. I would GREATLY distrust the second guy for allowing me to taunt the first, or trying to entice any other. After all, one would assume that they don't care that much, and are more likely to cheat.

Now GRANTED, I DON'T know enough about some mindsets, and certainly not enough about how women think, but I would HOPE I would be right in that most women would feel like I imagine I would in the two items above. Sadly, I know that MANY DON'T!

Steve

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Dan Riffle

11 years ago

Originally Posted by seasoned

POINT MADE! I AGREE! NOW, can YOU answer a question for ME? Why would ANY self respecting woman want to stay with EITHER!?!?!?

Steve, N E V E R ask a woman to explain the crazy of another woman. This is how black holes are created.

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Steve, N E V E R ask a woman to explain the crazy of another woman. This is how black holes are created.

Dan; Great. The guy, who goes by the name "Pink Tulips" wants advice about a relationship.....

And you jump right into a scientific discussion of what causes Black Holes.

This is no place to show off your scientific prowess.

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Dan Riffle

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Dan; Great. The guy, who goes by the name "Pink Tulips" wants advice about a relationship.....

And you jump right into a scientific discussion of what causes Black Holes.

This is no place to show off your scientific prowess.

So, you really don't want me to explain how geysers are created...

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Claude Whitacre 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

So, you really don't want me to explain how geysers are created...

I know how qeysers are created. It's why my first wife married me.
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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by seasoned

POINT MADE! I AGREE! NOW, can YOU answer a question for ME? Why would ANY self respecting woman want to stay with EITHER!?!?!? If I put myself in her place.....

1. I would LOATHE the first guy for even AIMING a gun at me, or being so careless! I doubt most men would even THINK of hitting a woman, much less shooting her. Unfortunately, it seems that many women seem attracted to those that WOULD!
2. I would GREATLY distrust the second guy for allowing me to taunt the first, or trying to entice any other. After all, one would assume that they don't care that much, and are more likely to cheat.

Now GRANTED, I DON'T know enough about some mindsets, and certainly not enough about how women think, but I would HOPE I would be right in that most women would feel like I imagine I would in the two items above. Sadly, I know that MANY DON'T!

Steve

Steve;
First, You're not a woman.
Second, Some women are addicted to drama. This is drama.
Third; It's a man calling himself "Pink Tulips".
Fourth; Some women are addicted to violent men. No idea why.
Fifth; I hate lists of only four, so I added a fifth. No charge.

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seasoned

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Steve;
First, You're not a woman.
Second, Some women are addicted to drama. This is drama.
Third; It's a man calling himself "Pink Tulips".
Fourth; Some women are addicted to violent men. No idea why.
Fifth; I hate lists of only four, so I added a fifth. No charge.

1. I never claimed to be a woman. I asked KAY!
2. OK, I was asking Kay WHY!
3. YEAH, I KNOW! WEIRD HUH!? What's your point?
4. I don't either, whichis why I asked KAY!
5. THANKS! I guess it is the THOUGHT that counts!

Steve

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by seasoned

1. I never claimed to be a woman. I asked KAY!
2. OK, I was asking Kay WHY!
3. YEAH, I KNOW! WEIRD HUH!? What's your point?
4. I don't either, whichis why I asked KAY!
5. THANKS! I guess it is the THOUGHT that counts!

Steve

Steve; Sometimes I don't pay attention. What are you trying to say?
Could you please be a little more emphatic?

And, for your information...Kay just hired me as her official social secretary. All questions directed at Kay, are now being routed through me...and I will answer them for her. Didn't you get the memo?

Originally Posted by ronrule

I would send her a card.

"Dear baby,

Welcome to dumpsville. Population: You."

No idea why, but that makes me keep laughing out loud. You're such a romantic.

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seasoned

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Steve; Sometimes I don't pay attention. What are you trying to say?
Could you please be a little more emphatic?

Naw, it looks like you got the point.

And, for your information...Kay just hired me as her official social secretary. All questions directed at Kay, are now being routed through me...and I will answer them for her. Didn't you get the memo?

I wonder how kay would react. Oh well, it is ok if other women feel they have an idea. I really WOULD love to know.

Steve

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TopLinks

11 years ago

In today's world, dating is more and more precarious and even marriage isn't as strong of a bond. Honestly, I'd break up with a girl who was behaving like that and maintaining contact with someone that's being inappropriate. It says a lot about her and the excitement she's getting from this. That being said, haven't we as guys done things that if our girls saw they would be a little(or a lot) upset with? Do what you think will be right for you, whether it's really confronting her or going your separate ways.

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Kay King 11 years ago

Steve -

I don't understand any of the people involved. They all sound like they have "issues".

Far too much drama for me in this story. I'd walk away from all of them.... would probably RUN away.
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ronrule

11 years ago

I would send her a card.

"Dear baby,

Welcome to dumpsville. Population: You."

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lcombs 11 years ago

Originally Posted by ronrule

I would send her a card.

"Dear baby,

Welcome to dumpsville. Population: You."

Yep!

Drop her like a red hot stone.

Here's a simple test for just about every question that you may face.
"If you have to ask, it goes."
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The Content Professional

11 years ago

Forget about the gun.

A woman who is still communicating with a recent ex in that way is trouble regardless.

And you're taking her "honesty" as a good sign, when in actuality it's a terrible sign.

Did she disclose the whole nature of the conversations -- the nude pic request, pleas for getting back together, etc.?

Yes: She doesn't see anything wrong with it, meaning she's a shot of tequila away from "accidentally" hooking up with him/another guy.

No: She knows it's wrong and is using selective honesty to manipulate you -- more dishonest than if she hadn't said a thing.

Also, if she didn't tell you, your snooping and the fact you posted this thread tells me that she already has the upper hand in the relationship. You are in for one wild ride if you decide to stick this one out.

It's not worth turning around. You've only been with this chick for three months, cut your losses and meet someone new. Or use your extra time focusing on whatever side hustle you're here to learn about.

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alistair

11 years ago

I was stuck in an awkward position once and in the end I got cramp.

Anyway I was going out with this girl for a few months back in 2001 and it was a similar scenario to yours except there were no weapons involved, or Facebook. The girl I was with was gorgeous, one of those girls that make other guys envy you. To cut a boring story short one night I turned up at her place after work and she was off out for a drink with her "ex". I basically turned around after she tried to explain and walked away. I've never spoken to her, or seen her since.

Although it was quite difficult at the time, I really have no regrets. I did at the time mind you, big, huge, gaping, depressing regrets. It was especially difficult after learning she changed her identity and moved to Australia the very next day, but after eventually seeking psychiatric help and spending some time in rehab you do learn to deal with the pain and anger in a positive way. Anyway the moral of the story is this. No matter how difficult it seems or how hurt and depressed you become, don't try to fly to Australia if you have a restraining order because they won't let you on the plane.

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sbucciarel

Banned 11 years ago

Originally Posted by alistair

I basically turned around after she tried to explain and walked away. I've never spoken to her, or seen her since.

...

No matter how difficult it seems or how hurt and depressed you become, don't try to fly to Australia if you have a restraining order because they won't let you on the plane.

Something tells me there's more to this story. Why did she change her identity and why was there a restraining order?

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alistair 11 years ago

Originally Posted by sbucciarel

Something tells me there's more to this story. Why did she change her identity and why was there a restraining order?

How do I know? I haven't been able to get close enough to her to ask.
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ppcmanager

11 years ago

Thanks for the replies guys, made my day :p

Sorry OP, no offence.

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bizgrower

11 years ago

After the day sleeping OP wakes up, I hope he has several cups of coffee
before he reads all this.

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KingRoyal

11 years ago

Hey guys, wow! Sorry for not responding back yet, again I am a pediatric nurse and just woke up after a 14 hour shift! I had a talk with my GF when I got off work, and she actually showed me the text where she told the other guy that she would never send such images

and the dates on the text matched when he asked her for naked pictures. So I am very happy with that. I've asked her to revaluate if she was over him, and she said 100% and said that she would start pulling back from most communications with him

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Dan Riffle 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

<snip>said that she would start pulling back from most communications with him

You, sir, are doomed.
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- Dan Riffle 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Richard Van
  
  I'm actually quite surprised with this thread that Dan hasn't said "this isn't going to end well..." yet.
  
  It's almost the perfect thread for it.
  
  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle
  
  You, sir, are doomed.
  
  I cleverly disguised it earlier.
  
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seasoned

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

Hey guys, wow! Sorry for not responding back yet, again I am a pediatric nurse and just woke up after a 14 hour shift! I had a talk with my GF when I got off work, and she actually showed me the text where she told the other guy that she would never send such images

and the dates on the text matched when he asked her for naked pictures. So I am very happy with that. I've asked her to revaluate if she was over him, and she said 100% and said that she would start pulling back from most communications with him

Such an apology/commitment simply ISN'T one!

Steve

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The Content Professional

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

Hey guys, wow! Sorry for not responding back yet, again I am a pediatric nurse and just woke up after a 14 hour shift! I had a talk with my GF when I got off work, and she actually showed me the text where she told the other guy that she would never send such images

and the dates on the text matched when he asked her for naked pictures. So I am very happy with that. I've asked her to revaluate if she was over him, and she said 100% and said that she would start pulling back from most communications with him

Again, what you see as a good thing, I see as you being totally screwed.

Your problem is you're listening to what she says and not what she does.

If I ask a woman for naked pictures and she responds in ANY way other than blocking my number, she is either interested or craves attention/drama. Hell, I've had women I was sleeping with who wouldn't even send me nude photos.

"Never" is Womanese for "not right now", "I'm not in the mood", or "convince me". It is finite unless accompanied by a supporting action, i.e., ignoring you or leaving your house.

Not to mention that she now knows you went through her phone; meaning she not only has the upper hand, she is well aware of that fact -- if she wasn't already.

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bizgrower

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

Hey guys, wow! Sorry for not responding back yet, again I am a pediatric nurse and just woke up after a 14 hour shift! I had a talk with my GF when I got off work, and she actually showed me the text where she told the other guy that she would never send such images

and the dates on the text matched when he asked her for naked pictures. So I am very happy with that. I've asked her to revaluate if she was over him, and she said 100% and said that she would start pulling back from most communications with him

1) "most communications"? She is still trying to hang onto both of you.
Still playing you, son. How many times has she said something like that?
And you still want her?

2) Violent not completely "ex" boyfriend and you still want her?

3) Seek professional help.

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

Hey guys, wow! Sorry for not responding back yet, again I am a pediatric nurse and just woke up after a 14 hour shift! I had a talk with my GF when I got off work, and she actually showed me the text where she told the other guy that she would never send such images

and the dates on the text matched when he asked her for naked pictures. So I am very happy with that. I've asked her to revaluate if she was over him, and she said 100% and said that she would start pulling back from most communications with him

Wow. That last sentence speaks volumes. You are deluding yourself.

"would"? "start"? "most"? That's the language of wishful thinking.
It's a bad relationship. And I don't mean "it's cute how he keeps giving her another chance"......

If you are relaying facts to us, then there is absolutely no chance that she has already cut this guy off. You are being played.

I know it's painful, but keep some dignity. Find someone sane.

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KingRoyal

11 years ago

See thats the thing, I am not the type of person who wants to get inbetween two other people, (to an extent). If he is asking her for naked pictures then sure, I have to step in on it and confront the issue. But how would it be right of me to tell her that if she doesnt stop responding to his text period, then im done? I know she doesnt initiate the conversations, its him that starts the text and facebook messages.

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Doran Peck

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

See thats the thing, I am not the type of person who wants to get inbetween two other people, (to an extent). If he is asking her for naked pictures then sure, I have to step in on it and confront the issue. But how would it be right of me to tell her that if she doesnt stop responding to his text period, then im done? I know she doesnt initiate the conversations, its him that starts the text and facebook messages.

This is a time you are 150% justified to get inbetween two people. The fact that you are reluctant to reveals to all of us that you are an unconfident sissy pants...and I'm trying to use nice words here.

Just to give you some perspective...in a normal healthy relationship there is no contact with Ex's of any kind. Ever. It simply doesn't exist.

...and about the gun to her head. I call bullsht. It never happened my friend. There is no way any human being would ever have continuing conversations or interaction of anykind with someone who did that AND who is within reach and capable of doing it again at anytime.

This girl does not love you. Real love does not produce the kinds of actions she's doing. Your being played. Everyone on this thread knows it.

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thunderbird

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Doran Peck

<snip>There is no way any human being would ever have continuing conversations or interaction of anykind with someone who did that AND who is within reach and capable of doing it again at anytime. <snip>.

Sadly, that part of it is totally believable, based on people I've personally known and people I've read about in the news. Ever heard of Rihanna and Chris Brown?

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Doran Peck

11 years ago

Originally Posted by thunderbird

Sadly, that part of it is totally believable, based on people I've personally known and people I've read about in the news. Ever heard of Rihanna and Chris Brown?

Dammitalltohell I forgot about Chris Brown and Rhianna.

I might have to rethink my theory on black holes too.

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Richard Van

11 years ago

Originally Posted by ronrule

I would send her a card.

"Dear baby,

Welcome to dumpsville. Population: You."

It's the gun shot not long after that worries me, though I'd love him to say that and I thank you for the laugh Ron.

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

See thats the thing, I am not the type of person who wants to get inbetween two other people, (to an extent). If he is asking her for naked pictures then sure, I have to step in on it and confront the issue. But how would it be right of me to tell her that if she doesnt stop responding to his text period, then im done? I know she doesnt initiate the conversations, its him that starts the text and facebook messages.

You have every right to tell her to stop responding. He's asking for naked pictures. She should have un-friended him when he held a gun to her head let alone now.

You haven't had one piece of advice in 50 posts that say anything other than get the hell away. Sure, we don't know her but we do know 'people' and what you've said about this person is enough to get you some very to the point advice which I don't think you're going to accept.

It doesn't matter who starts things, she adds the fuel. She responds and she has you hook, line and sinker.

My concerns are that the mentally unhinged ex may just want you out of the way anyway. I don't want to put ideas in your head either but what does she do while you work 14 hour shifts?

I can't tell you how far away I'd be right now.

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seasoned

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Doran Peck

Dammitalltohell I forgot about Chris Brown and Rhianna.

I might have to rethink my theory on black holes too.

Well, when I was a kid, there was an inherent belief that people did what they felt was in their best interest. If something strayed to far from that, we figured it was just FICTION.

Sometimes I wonder if this is just a horrible nightmare I am having.

If kids strayed out of the way, and I was adversly affected, people would tell me they would grow out of it. They never did, things just got worse.

So it isn't YOUR fault if you tried to thinklike a SANE person!

Steve

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Kay King

11 years ago

It's not ABOUT telling her what she can and cannot do.

We are advising you to raise your own standards and expect more of those you associate with. If you have to tell a girlfriend how to treat you - she's not the right one to be with.

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Richard Van

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

It's not ABOUT telling her what she can and cannot do.

We are advising you to raise your own standards and expect more of those you associate with. If you have to tell a girlfriend how to treat you - she's not the right one to be with.

And if you have to come onto a public forum after 3 months because you're worried about it, she's not the right one to be with.

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HeySal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by thunderbird

Sadly, that part of it is totally believable, based on people I've personally known and people I've read about in the news. Ever heard of Rihanna and Chris Brown?

Oh yeah it's believable. I worked in a crisis center and one of the hardest things in the world is to get women to leave guys that are going to end up killing them. I was called into hospitals to find them so badly beaten that they are unrecognizable and a week later they're right back there with him.

This whole thing sound to me like co-dependence on his part. She sounds like an ego feed freak. She most likely will never go back to the guy - but she has a sick need to keep him begging. People like her (guys do this too) don't always realize exactly how dangerous the games they play are. They know how to target guys that will try to hang on no matter what they're put through. They don't seem to always know when they need to stop playing, though. Some of these women end up dead, and they aren't the only ones who get killed.

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MissTerraK

11 years ago

Point blank, you are messing around with damaged goods. It sounds to me as though this woman/girl has deep seated problems most likely stemming from childhood experiences. Inside she feels she is no good but wants to be so she creates dramatic scenarios to entice men to want her.

She tries to prove to herself that she really does have worth by playing with, or toying with men, seeing how far they will go for her. Deep down inside, she questions why any man would want her. She feels so little self worth, she thinks it must be the situations she has created that keep the men interested so she therefore creates more "damsel in distress" stories and scenarios to play on a man's urge to protect woman.

One man will never be enough because she will always doubt the love he proclaims for her due to the lack of self worth that lurks inside. Therefore, there will always be a string of men to fall back on if need be and the pursuit of more via the "damsel in distress" role. Some time in the future you will be the man she needs protecting from by yet another man and the wild stories she creates around you. She sees you as a man that she can keep due to your tender and caring heart. Your career choice proclaims that clearly. What if the next man has a tendancy towards violence in order to avenge the wrong you did her according to her lies in order to yet attract and keep another man? You will then be sandwiched between two violent men.

Something to think about, eh?

As the others have said, Get gone!

Terra

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HeySal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

Point blank, you are messing around with damaged goods. It sounds to me as though this woman/girl has deep seated problems most likely stemming from childhood experiences. Inside she feels she is no good but wants to be so she creates dramatic scenarios to entice men to want her.

She tries to prove to herself that she really does have worth by playing with, or toying with men, seeing how far they will go for her. Deep down inside, she questions why any man would want her. She feels so little self worth, she thinks it must be the situations she has created that keep the men interested so she therefore creates more "damsel in distress" stories and scenarios to play on a man's urge to protect woman.

One man will never be enough because she will always doubt the love he proclaims for her due to the lack of self worth that lurks inside. Therefore, there will always be a string of men to fall back on if need be and the pursuit of more via the "damsel in distress" role. Some time in the future you will be the man she needs protecting from by yet another man and the wild stories she creates around you. She sees you as a man that she can keep due to your tender and caring heart. Your career choice proclaims that clearly. What if the next man has a tendancy towards violence in order to avenge the wrong you did her according to her lies in order to yet attract and keep another man? You will then be sandwiched between two violent men.

Something to think about, eh?

As the others have said, Get gone!

Terra

That or she could just be psychotic.

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MissTerraK 11 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

That or she could just be psychotic.

That's one word that comes to mind, Haha!

Terra
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seasoned

11 years ago

Originally Posted by thunderbird

Sadly, that part of it is totally believable, based on people I've personally known and people I've read about in the news. Ever heard of Rihanna and Chris Brown?

Well, Doran Peck thought this was LOGICAL, like the "real world". But we are all in Looney Toons ville! SERIOUSLY!

Steve

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sbucciarel

Banned 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

See that's the thing, I am not the type of person who wants to get in between two other people, (to an extent). If he is asking her for naked pictures then sure, I have to step in on it and confront the issue. But how would it be right of me to tell her that if she doesn't stop responding to his text period, then im done? I know she doesn't initiate the conversations, its him that starts the text and facebook messages.

The girl is taking you for a ride and it sounds like you intend to stay in the vehicle, no matter what. Your relationship ... do you think of it as a one on one relationship, a casual relationship or an open relationship? If casual or open, it shouldn't matter who she talks to or even if she sends out naked photos. If you both have an understanding that it is a one on one relationship, it is clearly not. There's a third person in it and someone who is not as committed to the relationship as the other is.

If it's just great sex or having someone around that makes you feel good, the relationship is alright for the short term, but if you have any thoughts of long term or a future with her, you're just asking for heartbreak.

Personally, I wouldn't give her an ultimatum. She's already shown her colors and whether it's this ex or someone new down the road, I don't think she's relationship material. I'd dump her if long term is what you're looking for and wait for the "right" one.

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graeme_pc

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

See thats the thing, I am not the type of person who wants to get inbetween two other people, (to an extent). If he is asking her for naked pictures then sure, I have to step in on it and confront the issue. But how would it be right of me to tell her that if she doesnt stop responding to his text period, then im done? I know she doesnt initiate the conversations, its him that starts the text and facebook messages.

I tried the diplomatic approach. Here goes for the 99% of that which clearly didn't penetrate:

THE GIRL IS AN IDIOT, AND IF YOU STAY WITH HER YOU ARE A BIGGER ONE.

Hey, love is tough sometimes

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thunderbird

11 years ago

I would reckon that the wisest course of action would be to just be done with it without laying down conditions.

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ronrule

11 years ago

Dude, are you serious? You're 3 months in. You aren't married, engaged, or even been together long enough for it to be considered a serious relationship. You started "dating" in freakin March...

You have absolutely no say in what she does or who she talks to, nor are you in any position to be making up rules. If you don't like her choices, move on and find someone you're compatible with. If she was the right person for you, you wouldn't have to ask her to change. And if you were the right person for her, she wouldn't be talking to her ex.

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HeySal

11 years ago

Hold on to your socks, Claude - I am about to convince you that ESP is real.......

I see, around a year from now.....can't be real sure about that, but in the not too far off future....

After months of driving around town desperately seeking her vehicle to rest his mind about where she's been spending all those spare hours, here's Pink Posies on his knees sobbing at her feet while she sips her wine and glances coyly at the charming gentleman across the table from her.
"Please come home, Baby" he sobs. "He can't love you like I do".
She bends and whispers sharply in his ear "you go wait outside. You're embarrassing yourself. This isn't what it looks like. I'll be with you in a minute and we'll go talk about it. Now GO."
Pink Posies nods his head, wipes his eyes and nose on his sleeve and walks for the door.
Smiling to herself, but keeping a staunch, embarrassed outward appearance, she turns to the gentleman seated beside her and says "well, now you can see why I've had to take it slow in breaking this to him. He's such a pathetic little mess..............."

A Ron White quote comes to mind.

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

Hold on to your socks, Claude - I am about to convince you that ESP is real.......

I see, around a year from now.....can't be real sure about that, but in the not too far off future....

After months of driving around town desperately seeking her vehicle to rest his mind about where she's been spending all those spare hours, here's Pink Posies on his knees sobbing at her feet while she sips her wine and glances coyly at the charming gentleman across the table from her.
"Please come home, Baby" he sobs. "He can't love you like I do".
She bends and whispers sharply in his ear "you go wait outside. You're embarrassing yourself. This isn't what it looks like. I'll be with you in a minute and we'll go talk about it. Now GO."
Pink Posies nods his head, wipes his eyes and nose on his sleeve and walks for the door.
Smiling to herself, but keeping a staunch, embarrassed outward appearance, she turns to the gentleman seated beside her and says "well, now you can see why I've had to take it slow in breaking this to him. He's such a pathetic little mess..............."

A Ron White quote comes to mind.

I think you're r....ri....riiii........(This is very hard to get out) ....

I agree with this.

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Richard Van

11 years ago

I'm actually quite surprised with this thread that Dan hasn't said "this isn't going to end well..." yet.

It's almost the perfect thread for it.

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Richard Van

I'm actually quite surprised with this thread that Dan hasn't said "this isn't going to end well..." yet.

It's almost the perfect thread for it.

You're right. But not because we are arguing.

It's the OP's "relationship" that won't end well. (I know you meant that)

Three months. Man, after only three months...I'd just nicely break it off over the phone.

There are only two ways this story would be worse (without violence)
1) They have never had sex.
2) This is an online relationship, and he's never met her.

Man; A crazy girlfriend..with a violent "ex" boyfriend.

That's a pretty good definition of hell.

And, Hot lips, if they are still talking...it's not her "ex-boyfriend"...it's her boyfriend.

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sbucciarel

Banned 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

And, Hot lips, if they are still talking...it's not her "ex-boyfriend"...it's her boyfriend.

In this case it may be true, but doesn't mean that ex's can't be friends. I had friendly relationships with numerous ex's, particularly an ex husband. We had kids and it serves no useful purpose to be hostile when there are kids to take care ... or even when there's not.

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by sbucciarel

In this case it may be true, but doesn't mean that ex's can't be friends. I had friendly relationships with numerous ex's, particularly an ex husband. We had kids and it serves no useful purpose to be hostile when there are kids to take care ... or even when there's not.

Suzanne;

Sure, if there are kids or property between you.

Maybe women think about this differently.

But I'm either in a relationship..or I'm not. After someone says "I don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore"...that's kind of the end of that discussion.

I won't call you the next day and say "So...what are you thinking about?"

And truth be told, I'm still friends with a few women that I've...um..dated.
But there is absolutely no idea that there is a relationship there. And there weren't emotional ties.

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sbucciarel

Banned 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Suzanne;

Sure, if there are kids or property between you.

Maybe women think about this differently.

But I'm either in a relationship..or I'm not. After someone says "I don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore"...that's kind of the end of that discussion.

I won't call you the next day and say "So...what are you thinking about?"

I've had relationships that changed rather than ended. Lovers > Friends
This isn't the case here because this other guy is pressuring her to resume the romantic relationship and asking for nude pics and such, but it's not at all uncommon for former lovers to be friends.

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by sbucciarel

I've had relationships that changed rather than ended. Lovers > Friends
This isn't the case here because this other guy is pressuring her to resume the romantic relationship and asking for nude pics and such, but it's not at all uncommon for former lovers to be friends.

I posted my answer just before you posted this one. Same here....relationships that change, rather than end. Maybe I should have said "committed relationship".

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sbucciarel

Banned 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I posted my answer just before you posted this one. Same here....relationships that change, rather than end. Maybe I should have said "committed relationship".

I think he should dump her because she's playing him, but if he's not ready to do that, I would call up and start texting that old girlfriend that I still cared about or get a friend to play along to receive and send text messages. See how she likes it when two play that game.

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HeySal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by sbucciarel

I think he should dump her because she's playing him, but if he's not ready to do that, I would call up and start texting that old girlfriend that I still cared about or get a friend to play along to receive and send text messages. See how she likes it when two play that game.

Head games aren't really the way to solve something like this. She's already shown not to have much empathy. All head games will do is make things even more sinuous. The only way to make a relationship right is by being honest.....and that means just as honest with yourself about what you're involved with as you are with the other person about what you can live with and what you can't.

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Richard Van

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

It's the OP's "relationship" that won't end well. (I know you meant that)

Three months. Man, after only three months...I'd just nicely break it off over the phone.

Of course Claude.

I don't think I'd probably waste my phone bill.

Perhaps a post it note.

Originally Posted by sbucciarel

I think he should dump her because she's playing him, but if he's not ready to do that, I would call up and start texting that old girlfriend that I still cared about or get a friend to play along to receive and send text messages. See how she likes it when two play that game.

Needs to find an ex that tried stab him in his sleep or something though. Not any old ex, preferably an escaped convict.

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

I cleverly disguised it earlier.

You Sir are just so dam clever. Point it out for my benefit next time please.

How are things going Pink Tulips end? I worry when he doesn't post back.

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ronrule

11 years ago

He's probably sad.

Originally Posted by Richard Van

Of course Claude.

I don't think I'd probably waste my phone bill.

Perhaps a post it note.

Needs to find an ex that tried stab him in his sleep or something though. Not any old ex, preferably an escaped convict.

You Sir are just so dam clever. Point it out for my benefit next time please.

How are things going Pink Tulips end? I worry when he doesn't post back.

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Claude Whitacre 11 years ago

Originally Posted by ronrule

He's probably sad.

That made my day.
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bizgrower

11 years ago

I know someone who has been put in the hospital several times
by her man (I've seen the police reports/photos). She still leaves and
then goes back to him. (The saddest part is that their 4 and 6
year old angel children are now in foster care.)

She is also very capable of fabricating stories about how other people
treat her. She ran away from her adoptive mother, who happens to be
an attorney, claiming that the woman was abusive when it was likely a matter
of her not getting her own way. Ditto for what she says about her real
Mom when all her Mom is saying is no to her getting drunk in her house.
(She's 24 now and living with Mom when not back with her male.)

There was another incident where she likely fabricated most of a
story of being physically and sexually assaulted.

Now that we are aware of how bad she can be at fabricating, I
will never be remotely close to anything alone with her. I used to let
her stay in a room at my hotel, but now I see how even that could
backfire on me. Ditto for a man who has known her since she was 4
years old and she wanted to stay at his place for the night to get away from
real Mom.

If the gun story is not real, you don't want her around.
What might she fabricate about you?
What rights of yours might get taken away if she gets a
Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) on you over something she made up?
What could a fabrication do to your career?

If the gun story is real, you don't want her around.

As a pediatric nurse, have not you seen the horrible outcomes
caused by people like this?

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Ron Lafuddy

11 years ago

Looks like you intend to go along for the ride.

Fair enough. consider that your girlfriend hasn't revealed everything
to you, only the parts she wants you to know about.

If you can grasp that, you'll add some clarity to your thinking.

You are in no way safe.

You are the number 1 obstacle, in the eyes of her ex. That puts a target on you
whether you want to acknowledge it or not.

Consider too, that your name, where you live, work, the route you take to get there and back, where you bank, shop, your off hour activities, hang outs, the vehicle you drive and more are probably known to her ex.

You are kidding yourself, bub if you think otherwise.

Expect a confrontation. Prepare for it as best you can. Run the scenarios through your head several times. You're going to need a plan if it happens and it won't be when/where you expect it to.

Pay extra attention to everything going on around you. If you notice anything that doesn't seem right or something unusual, don't dismiss it.

If you don't have a dog, see if you can borrow one from somebody for a while. Go to the pound and get one temporarily. The dog will bark if it hears something. If you're asleep, that could give you the time you need to wake up and take action, if needed. I've been there... and the dog saved my life.

Sleep with one eye open. You're dealing with not one, but two nutcases. Sorry, but it's obvious. Good luck to you. You are going to need it.

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ErinWalsh

11 years ago

I feel I need to point out a few things.

1. I doubt pointing a gun at her head was the first act of violence towards her in that relationship. This makes her an abused woman.
2. He's pulling the charming "baby come back to me I'm so sorry" act right now, and it's addicting to abused women. The attention and compliments. I'm sorry, but they usually fall for it. It takes a lot for an abused woman to break away and STAY away.

The fact she hasn't told you he's asking for kisses and naked photos may mean she's already sent them, or is looking for an opportunity to take them.

Let me tell you a story of my past: I have someone who will always "have a piece of my heart." When I got with my husband he wouldn't stop flirting and making overtures. I stopped talking to him.

See the difference between a woman who wants the relationship to work and what you have?

My advice is give her an ultimatum. Stop talking to ex or get out. You'll see where you stand then.

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ronrule

11 years ago

Originally Posted by ErinWalsh

...
Let me tell you a story of my past: I have someone who will always "have a piece of my heart." When I got with my husband he wouldn't stop flirting and making overtures. I stopped talking to him.

See the difference between a woman who wants the relationship to work and what you have?

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Patrician

11 years ago

I hate to bring this up, but I actually have a friend whose brother has been in a wheelchair for 30 years now because in his 20's he just happened to be dating a maniac's 'eX' - all he was doing was opening her car door in her driveway to let her out after a date - boom - his life is ruined.

In this case you have a clue - and I can tell you are already in denial and everything is all 'rosy' now because she said some WORDS. You have to have more self-esteem and self-preservation.

While it is true it could happen to anyone, anywhere at any time, might as well not push it when you know there is a reason to back off.

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Joe J

11 years ago

The answer to this is so obvious it could have been figured out with a simple yes or no poll.

Should I stay or should I go?

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bizgrower

11 years ago

I'd Twitter: " I just need my space. It's not you, baby. It's me." lol

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Patrician

11 years ago

The problem is just as much with Tulips Guy as it is with his Bad Girl.

I was thinking about this thread last night when I was watching one of the real crime shows on Investigative Discovery.

Girl meets (cute/sweet) guy online - he even admits there is a website where his jealous eX really hammers him and of course none of it is true -

she looks at the site and even goes so far as to contact the eX-girl - and the girl turns her on to a bunch of other girls that think he is pond scum - a thief, liar, etc.

But Nooooooo, she is not going to judge or believe anything out of 'fairness' to him (hahahaha) fairness - more like her own neediness, lack of self-esteem and denial (he simply HAS TO BE the man of her dreams, nothing can interfere with that!).

Even when he is busted lying to her personally, well maybe she can help make an honest man out of him (hahahahaha) and see him through this - go to church/counseling, move him in with her, pay all the bills, etc.

Anyway long story short he rips her off for every last dollar, down to her laptop, phone, and wallet and disappears.

The good part is she did FINALLY really run him down until he was caught and incarcerated - turned out he had about 50 aliases online and no telling how many other victims.

But my point here is that Pink Tulips is not listening - all he is hearing is what are more than likely just her LIES and he is so desperate that he will believe her and ignore the truth.

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bizgrower

11 years ago

I think Pink has left the room.

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MissTerraK 11 years ago

Originally Posted by bizgrower

I think Pink has left the room.

That's because the Truth Hurts

Usher Truth Hurts - YouTube

Terra
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KingRoyal

11 years ago

Update: this guy called her today while I was in the car with her before we went into church. He was drunk and she flat out told me who it was when she hung up, although the call lasted 30 seconds. Today, she had me block his number in her phone and I also deleted the phone number in her phone. No more calls can get through, she also had me block him off of her facebook

She told me that she apologized and that she was ready to cut him from his life. Thanks guys for sharing inputs

Thanks
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Ron Lafuddy

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

Update: this guy called her today while I was in the car with her before we went into church. He was drunk and she flat out told me who it was when she hung up, although the call lasted 30 seconds. Today, she had me block his number in her phone and I also deleted the phone number in her phone. No more calls can get through, she also had me block him off of her facebook

She told me that she apologized and that she was ready to cut him from his life. Thanks guys for sharing inputs

Perfect. Sounds like the fun's about to begin.
Enjoy!

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KingRoyal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Ron Lafuddy

Perfect. Sounds like the fun's about to begin.
Enjoy!

Thanks! She was very open to the conversation and actually really understood. When she told me she had no desire to get back with him, I then explained to her that she was giving him false hope. After I told her and explained that to her, she wanted to block him

So hopefully all of this shit is over with

Thanks
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whateverpedia 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

So hopefully all of this shit is over with

Don't bet on it.
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candoit2

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

Thanks! She was very open to the conversation and actually really understood. When she told me she had no desire to get back with him, I then explained to her that she was giving him false hope. After I told her and explained that to her, she wanted to block him

So hopefully all of this shit is over with

Do you think she didn't know she was giving him false hope and do you not notice that she is now giving YOU false hope?

Unless that "she wanted" to block him is at this very second a reality (and stays a permanent reality), then just walk away, not a word and don't look back.

Check now to see if she blocked him already. If she hasn't yet, you have your answer. Actions speak louder than words.

Thanks
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KingRoyal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by AaronJones

Do you think she didn't know she was giving him false hope and do you not notice that she is now giving YOU false hope?

Unless that "she wanted" to block him is at this very second a reality, and stays a permanent reality, then just walk away, not a word and don't look back.

Check now to see if she blocked him already. If she hasn't yet, you have your answer. Actions speak louder than words.

She had me block him on Facebook and on her phone. She consented to it, however she asked that I do it so that I knew it was done

Thanks
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candoit2

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

She had me block him on Facebook and on her phone. She consented to it, however she asked that I do it so that I knew it was done

Yikes..I'm not sure still.

You really have to watch close to actions and not words and pick up on signals with women.

Why didn't she block him with you watching? That is something a girl who is over her ex would do.

Having you do it for her...that's something a girl who isn't over her ex, but is cornered and trying to appease her current guy would do.

Your still not in the clear on this one IMO.

I think you now have a better idea though of how to be aware of what kind of things you should be paying attention too.

Give her a chance, but pay attention to the subtle things in words and actions and make sure they add up.

Aaron

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KingRoyal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by AaronJones

Yikes..I'm not sure still.

You really have to watch close to actions and not words and pick up on signals with women.

Why didn't she block him with you watching? That is something a girl who is over her ex would do.

Having you do it for her...that's something a girl who isn't over her ex, but is cornered and trying to appease her current guy would do.

Your still not in the clear on this one IMO.

I think you now have a better idea though of how to be aware of what kind of things you should be paying attention too.

Give her a chance, but pay attention to the subtle things in words and actions and make sure they add up.

Aaron

Hey Aaron thanks for the comment! She had me block him for her because she wanted me to know that it was in fact done. I do not think it had anything to do with the fact that she didnt think she could do it herself.

Thanks
1 reply

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Dan Riffle

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

Hey Aaron thanks for the comment! She had me block him for her because she wanted me to know that it was in fact done. I do not think it had anything to do with the fact that she didnt think she could do it herself.

Be prepared to have that thrown in your face during your next argument. She's preparing to use "You don't trust me" as leverage.

I really hope I'm wrong. I hope she's come to her senses. If she's 25 or older, you might be okay. Any younger and you're in for the ride. It's up to you to decide if it's worth it.

Thanks

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Paul Myers 11 years ago

She had me block him on Facebook and on her phone. She consented to it, however she asked that I do it so that I knew it was done

You really don't understand what you're dealing with here, do you?

She can, and very probably will, remove those blocks at any time. If she hasn't already.

Assuming everything you've said is true and accurate, you're being played. The "ex" is also being played. And the "ex" may well have crossed over into obsession, which is not a healthy state. Especially for someone willing to put a gun to a woman's head. That further assumes she was telling the truth about the gun, which is not an assumption I'd be prepared to make at this point.

If the facility you work at offers psychiatric services, I'd go to someone there and ask for professional advice on the safest way to extricate yourself from the situation. At least get their opinions, to confirm or invalidate what's been said here.

If you're as young and naive as you seem, you're likely to ignore the advice you've been given in this thread. If that happens, you've got two reasonably likely potential outcomes. The first: If she told you the truth about the guy putting a gun to her head, you may end up looking down a barrel yourself. Hopefully it won't be the last thing you see.

If she lied about that, she'll lie about you, too. And she may well tell the kinds of lies that could end your career.

It's always risky to assess someone's psychological state from limited exposure in a forum. More so when it's via 3rd party statements. We could all be very wrong.

I wouldn't bet on it, though, unless you have significantly misstated the situation. This is a classic, and it never ends well if it's allowed to play out.

Paul
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Ron Lafuddy

11 years ago

Pink,

It's not over. It is about to begin though, in earnest.

The lessons that you learn from this experience will stand
you in good stead down the road. Some of us (and I'm one of
them) have to learn through experience. It's harder that way
but necessary.

So be it.

I do wish you the absolute best.

Have fun but be vigilant.

Good Luck!

[ 1 ] Thanks

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cratos

11 years ago

my goodness.. you don't need this man.. girls that still talk to ex's will always be bad news. Get a girl who will only dedicate her time to you only. Not some other low life piece of SH#T.

Thanks

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Mark Singletary

11 years ago

One thing to watch for is that sometimes people are willing to give up the obvious but they still have hidden ways to do what they want to anyway.

By having you do it you are satisfied that it's done. That could mean that she is over him and ready to be more committed to you or it could mean she wanted you to be satisfied that it was done even though nothing was really done.

For example, it's extremely easy to get multiple email or FB accounts. It's easy to unblock numbers or to give and accept calls in any number of other ways such as through Google Voice, Skype, or a cheap prepaid phone.

Not being paranoid but just saying...

Mark

Thanks
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KingRoyal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

Be prepared to have that thrown in your face during your next argument. She's preparing to use "You don't trust me" as leverage.

I really hope I'm wrong. I hope she's come to her senses. If she's 25 or older, you might be okay. Any younger and you're in for the ride. It's up to you to decide if it's worth it.

Originally Posted by Mark Singletary

One thing to watch for is that sometimes people are willing to give up the obvious but they still have hidden ways to do what they want to anyway.

By having you do it you are satisfied that it's done. That could mean that she is over him and ready to be more committed to you or it could mean she wanted you to be satisfied that it was done even though nothing was really done.

For example, it's extremely easy to get multiple email or FB accounts. It's easy to unblock numbers or to give and accept calls in any number of other ways such as through Google Voice, Skype, or a cheap prepaid phone.

Not being paranoid but just saying...

Mark

Just wanted to address the both of these responses. The conversation we had, the way we had it and the mood she had when she agreed to block, I believe she genuinely blocked him because she saw how irritated I was about it. However, after a completely explained to her that she was providing him false hope she immedately said that she needed to block him because she did not want to give him any hopes of ever getting back together.

As far as the arguments are concerned, I honestly don't think she would ever use it. We've had a few arguments already and they all ended peacefully with compromises.

Thanks for the input guys!

Thanks
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Richard Van

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

As far as the arguments are concerned, I honestly don't think she would ever use it. We've had a few arguments already and they all ended peacefully with compromises.

I'm actually concerned you've managed to have arguments inside what is normally a 3 month honeymoon period.

Paul just summed it up better than I could and I'm with Dan. The fact she made you do it seems like a control thing. You block, you feel happy, she knows you're happy, unblock ex and resume as normal.

Seriously, if you woke up one night and she had a knife to your throat, after that you split up and found this gorgeous lady, you really liked her, it was early days but boy was she special...then a little later the knife wielding ex gets back in touch and starts asking for kisses and pictures of you with your winkle out.

What would you do?

Strange isn't it? You wouldn't carry on 'chatting' behind the new love of your life's back would you?

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sonjay

11 years ago

Time to move forward.. or move on..

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seasoned

11 years ago

Pink,

I didn't want to say it myself, but paul and richard are right. It is amazing how some women have SO much pull. And some of them PLAY with it. Most that play with it to this degree DON'T care about the outcome. In fact if she got hurt, she would try to encourage OTHERS to take the fall. I think it is clear that you AND the ex are obsessed. Like many obsessions, it just won't be worth it to either of you.

I would suggest that you try to bring things back to the way they were, forget about her, and try to get rid of ANYTHING she had access to. If she learned the number to your checking account, for example, CHANGE IT, etc.... Don't even bother to tell her they have been changed. If she asks, feign ignorance.

Steve

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Kay King 11 years ago

We've had a few arguments already and they all ended peacefully with compromises.

Could it be most of the 'compromise' was on your part?

Whatever - it's your love life. I can see where your need to save someone or be the "understanding other" could play into this scenario. Enjoy it while it lasts but don't be surprised if it doesn't end well.
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Richard Van

11 years ago

Originally Posted by seasoned

I didn't want to say it myself, but paul and richard are right.

Now I'm just hurt Steve.

Why didn't you want to say it yourself that Paul and I are right?

I'm only kidding, I know what you mean! :p

Frankly I think everyone in this thread has been spot on.

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seasoned

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Richard Van

Now I'm just hurt Steve.

Why didn't you want to say it yourself that Paul and I are right?

I'm only kidding, I know what you mean! :p

Frankly I think everyone in this thread has been spot on.

Yeah, sorry. I DID mean I didn't want to be the first that was so blunt. But this IS, ..... No, I just said I didn't want to go THERE.

Today, the ONLY way to be sure there is no contact between people is if they are sane, trustworthy, see no benefit, cherish your trust, and you trust them.

Afterall, I don't believe phones or online accounts allow any blocks to be PERMANENT! Even if they did, the other person can change THEIR side! And even if THAT weren't possible, YOUR side could be changed. So all that is left is TRUST!

The people in question aren't sane, aren't trust worthy, see some benefit, and obviously DON'T cherish the trust.

SO, like I said, pink should drop them, and try to limit any potential backlash.

Steve

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ronrule

11 years ago

Why would she have you block him?

Oh, wait, I know ... because if you block him, he doesn't exist in your Facebook world. You can't see who he talks to, and if any of your friends talk to him those conversations will never be visible to you because one of the parties is blocked. She could tag him in posts and write "I love you" all over his wall and you'll never see her activity.

You're just a glutton for punishment aren't you? You have no right what so ever to tell her how to behave or make any rules, but you can make rules for yourself and decide what you're going to tolerate. Bottom line is, if she's still been talking to him then she isn't over him. Blocking him is a short term solution to a long term problem. You're 3 months in, dude... how long are you going to drag this on?

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CynthiaDixon 11 years ago

Interesting thread.

If she loved and respected you as she should, this wouldn't be an issue. We can all tell you what to do, but that's totally up to you. Whoever she is, she sounds young and immature.

I can say from a woman's perspective, when a woman truly loves a man, and truly respects him, she'd be sitting next to you watching the game and not on Facebook chatting it up with her ex.

Just cause she's being upfront and honest doesn't mean anything. Ever heard of hiding in plan sight. Chicks play games too. Just when you think she isn't, she's been out there all along.

Can't tell you what to do, but if you really want the advice of others, perhaps you should take it.
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Mark Singletary

11 years ago

Ron, I took it that she asked him to block the ex on HER phone so that he (tulips) would know that it was done.

Mark

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bizgrower

11 years ago

I don't know that FB stuff, but can't she go back and unblock
the ex, thereby fooling OP?

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DJL

11 years ago

"There are none so blind as those who will not see.
The most deluded people are those who choose to ignore what they already know."
-- Thomas Chalkley (1713)

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Kay King

11 years ago

During a rare moment of clarity, it struck me that giving love life advice to a man on an IM forum with the name 'pink tulips' is probably not going to end well.

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MissTerraK

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

During a rare moment of clarity, it struck me that giving love life advice to a man on an IM forum with the name 'pink tulips' is probably not going to end well.

You got me to thinking as well and so I did a search.

What I found was that Pink tulips carry the meaning of perfect happiness and of wishing someone well. They have a less serious romantic meaning than their red counterpart, so they are perfect for new couples to purchase. Red depicts true love, whereas pink tulips show caring.

See? It makes a little more sense now. Pink tulips do not depict true love and true love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.

He's not in love nor is he ready for it so he's just playing too. He may care about her and wish her well, but he doesn't love her. And I think at this point, that is a very good thing! If he changes his user name to Red Tulips, then we can really start to worry!

Terra

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seasoned

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

During a rare moment of clarity, it struck me that giving love life advice to a man on an IM forum with the name 'pink tulips' is probably not going to end well.

Yeah, that IS odd! I wonder what the WHOLE story is!

Steve

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Doran Peck

11 years ago

Kay that's pretty good research.

However a simpler explanation may be in order...

His "Pink Tullips" is not a floral reference, it is a vulgar female anatomy reference, of the immature 12 year old boy ilk. Much like the term Pink Taco.

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KingRoyal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

During a rare moment of clarity, it struck me that giving love life advice to a man on an IM forum with the name 'pink tulips' is probably not going to end well.

Originally Posted by Doran Peck

Kay that's pretty good research.

However a simpler explanation may be in order...

His "Pink Tullips" is not a floral reference, it is a vulgar female anatomy reference, of the immature 12 year old boy ilk. Much like the term Pink Taco.

Lol hey now dont judge

Its my Xbox Gamer tag because all of the people in online parties think a girl joined. I get to surprise them with a deep voice lol

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seasoned

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

Lol hey now dont judge

Its my Xbox Gamer tag because all of the people in online parties think a girl joined. I get to surprise them with a deep voice lol

I don't know if that is any better.

Steve

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sbucciarel

Banned 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

Lol hey now dont judge

Its my Xbox Gamer tag because all of the people in online parties think a girl joined. I get to surprise them with a deep voice lol

Hey... I didn't read anything into your user name. It's just a user name. No deep meaning required. Good luck with your relationship going forward.

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MissTerraK

11 years ago

Originally Posted by sbucciarel

Hey... I didn't read anything into your user name. It's just a user name. No deep meaning required. Good luck with your relationship going forward.

Suzanne,

I really didn't either.

I noticed that this thread was getting a little, well, a lot deep actually, and was just trying to be lighthearted and funny. I see I failed at that miserably lol!

Anyway, how many people have been saved from themselves from a bunch of armchair/office chair psychiatrists anyway? :p

Terra

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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by MissTerraK

Suzanne,

I really didn't either.

I noticed that this thread was getting a little, well, a lot deep actually, and was just trying to be lighthearted and funny. I see I failed at that miserably lol!

Anyway, how many people have been saved from themselves from a bunch of armchair/office chair psychiatrists anyway? :p

Terra

Terra; Seven. Seven people have been saved.

Originally Posted by sbucciarel

Hey... I didn't read anything into your user name. It's just a user name. No deep meaning required. Good luck with your relationship going forward.

Well, I read a lot into it. It's how I learn about people..by their Username.

And Pink Tulips? Well, I can tell a lot by a person by those words. For example....um...

He knows how to spell "Tulips".

And....um..well.....He's 5ft. 8in. , Likes science fiction, doesn't like Italian food. Is into sports, but not soccer. Stays up late playing video games.

He is close to his mother, and hasn't seen his father in years. He has an interest in engineering, but doesn't have a degree.
He used to have a better job in a different profession. He looks 5 years younger than his actual age.

He's into Cosplay, although he's never told anyone. And he graduated in the top 20% of his class. He has tried smoking marijuana, and likes it. Although he hasn't tried harder drugs.

He is a recovering Mormon, and sang in their choir.

I got all this from "Pink Tulips"
My powers are astounding.

For example; the Username Dan Riffle tells me that the person is a short toad that sustains himself by eating his own slobbers.

It's an art, really.

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Dan Riffle 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Terra; Seven. Seven people have been saved.

It's six, Claude. Don't forget what happened to that last guy. It's amazing what doctors can do with rubber tubing these days.
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KingRoyal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Terra; Seven. Seven people have been saved.

Well, I read a lot into it. It's how I learn about people..by their Username.

And Pink Tulips? Well, I can tell a lot by a person by those words. For example....um...

He knows how to spell "Tulips".

And....um..well.....He's 5ft. 8in. , Likes science fiction, doesn't like Italian food. Is into sports, but not soccer. Stays up late playing video games.

He is close to his mother, and hasn't seen his father in years. He has an interest in engineering, but doesn't have a degree.
He used to have a better job in a different profession. He looks 5 years younger than his actual age.

He's into Cosplay, although he's never told anyone. And he graduated in the top 20% of his class. He has tried smoking marijuana, and likes it. Although he hasn't tried harder drugs.

He is a recovering Mormon, and sang in their choir.

I got all this from "Pink Tulips"
My powers are astounding.

For example; the Username Dan Riffle tells me that the person is a short toad that sustains himself by eating his own slobbers.

It's an art, really.

You know, im 6'2 lol, love soccer, have a big shalong, and yes...yes I am close to my mother.

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sbucciarel Banned 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

have a big shalong

That's more info than I needed to know
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Claude Whitacre 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

You know, im 6'2 lol, love soccer, have a big shalong, and yes...yes I am close to my mother.

You don't know how Psychics work....so here is my reply.

Yup, and the image I had of you is when you were younger, and you were 5 ft 8 in...so I got that one right. You love soccer, but hate a specific soccer team....which is what I was thinking...

And you're close to your mother, just as I predicted.

My powers are without limit. I got all of that from "Pink Tulips".
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candoit2

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Terra; Seven. Seven people have been saved.

Well, I read a lot into it. It's how I learn about people..by their Username.

And Pink Tulips? Well, I can tell a lot by a person by those words. For example....um...

He knows how to spell "Tulips".

And....um..well.....He's 5ft. 8in. , Likes science fiction, doesn't like Italian food. Is into sports, but not soccer. Stays up late playing video games.

He is close to his mother, and hasn't seen his father in years. He has an interest in engineering, but doesn't have a degree.
He used to have a better job in a different profession. He looks 5 years younger than his actual age.

He's into Cosplay, although he's never told anyone. And he graduated in the top 20% of his class. He has tried smoking marijuana, and likes it. Although he hasn't tried harder drugs.

He is a recovering Mormon, and sang in their choir.

I got all this from "Pink Tulips"
My powers are astounding.

For example; the Username Dan Riffle tells me that the person is a short toad that sustains himself by eating his own slobbers.

It's an art, really.

Here I was thinking that he was just someone who calls his shalong "pink tuplis" and uses that as his username.

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MissTerraK 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Terra; Seven. Seven people have been saved.

Okay Darlin',

I'm calling you on that.

Names please.

And don't include Riffle as he is most emphatically not saved from himself. :p

Terra
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- Claude Whitacre 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by MissTerraK
  
  Okay Darlin',
  
  I'm calling you on that.
  
  Names please.
  
  And don't include Riffle as he is most emphatically not saved from himself. :p
  
  Terra
  
  I've very sorry, I'm legally prevented from revealing those names.
  
  But here is a hint. Those seven people are all men..and they are dwarves.
  
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Kay King 11 years ago

Doran -

ewwwwwww - a whole new yechhh factor and I thought there was enough of that to begin with in this thread.
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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Doran Peck

Kay that's pretty good research.

However a simpler explanation may be in order...

His "Pink Tullips" is not a floral reference, it is a vulgar female anatomy reference, of the immature 12 year old boy ilk. Much like the term Pink Taco.

Doran; I have no idea what you mean. Please explain in complete graphic detail.

You had me at "Taco".

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KingRoyal

11 years ago

I honestly do not think its worth just dumping someone before hearing them out

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Richard Van

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

I honestly do not think its worth just dumping someone before hearing them out

No problem then. Your call.

Best of luck and I hope this works out for you and if it doesn't, I do hope you're ok and you learn from it.

I'll give you one thing though, you've handled the criticism without getting annoyed. Good for you and I just hope this doesn't go the way everyone but you thinks it will.

Good luck.

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KingRoyal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

During a rare moment of clarity, it struck me that giving love life advice to a man on an IM forum with the name 'pink tulips' is probably not going to end well.

Originally Posted by Doran Peck

Kay that's pretty good research.

However a simpler explanation may be in order...

His "Pink Tullips" is not a floral reference, it is a vulgar female anatomy reference, of the immature 12 year old boy ilk. Much like the term Pink Taco.

Originally Posted by Richard Van

No problem then. Your call.

Best of luck and I hope this works out for you and if it doesn't, I do hope you're ok and you learn from it.

I'll give you one thing though, you've handled the criticism without getting annoyed. Good for you and I just hope this doesn't go the way everyone but you thinks it will.

Good luck.

Its the internet LOL, you have to take everything for what its worth, however every comment has some perspective to it.

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Claude Whitacre 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

Its the internet LOL, you have to take everything for what its worth, however every comment has some perspective to it.

I'll say this; You could take it, without lashing out. Good for you.
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- Dan Riffle 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  I'll say this; You could take it, without lashing out. Good for you.
  
  Yeah, unlike some people... ^^^^
  
  For an example of what I mean, see post 123.
  
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  Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.
  
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  Claude Whitacre 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Dan Riffle
  
  Yeah, unlike some people... ^^^^
  
  Why, Riffle...whatever do you mean?
  
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seasoned 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

I honestly do not think its worth just dumping someone before hearing them out

But you DID! It would be hard to get a better answer.

Steve
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ivoire1881

11 years ago

:confused::confused::confused::confused: but interesting heart (hint love) story.

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

Hey guys, I know this isn't the best place to address what's on my mind, however I am a night pediatric nurse, its 2 AM and things are slow, which leaves my mind to roam as im waiting to pass out mediction to the kids for the morning. Anyhow, I wanted to see if I could get any mature responses here, because as of right now, I have no where else to go.

Issue: My girlfriend of 3 months has constantly been talking to one of her ex boyfriends via Facebook and text message, and she has been totally honest to me about it, which I absolutely love. However, I stumbled upon one of their conversations recently, and although she may or may not be over that relationship which was more than a YEAR ago next month, I can tell that he is not. In these conversations the guy keeps asking her what ever happened to the relationship, why she left, why they cant get back together, and so on. not to mentioned he pointed a loaded gun to her head and threatened her. Anyhow, she still talks to him, and shes flat out told me that he will always have a small place in her heart, and I totally understand that, I have someone like that too. (however the girl I still care about, we dont talk every day while she expresses how sorry she is for letting me go).

Thing is, hes asking for naked pictures, asking for kisses, and so forth. to my knowledge, she hasnt done anything. I know she has not kissed him because he lives across the state, but the pictures? Im holding strong on faith that she didnt do it. I will be confronting her tomorrow about it, however, how do you suggest I keep tollerating this. Is it foolish of me to tollerate her communication with this guy, or should I try to sperate them? Ive have never been a person to seperate people in the spite of jelousy.

Sorry for the rant, but its heavy on my mind, and Im really hoping to get some input from people who have put up with the similar stuff.

Thanks!
John

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MilenRachev

11 years ago

so hows the story continuing with your girlfriend?

Interesting story.

I've cursed on girlfriends but never pointed a gun at them...yet....hahha
just kidding. thats seriously messed up. But girls psychology is complicated
they may in certain situations be attracted to dangerous guys but will probably
still be reasonable if they think it thorougly through.

Thanks,

Milen Rachev

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KingRoyal

11 years ago

Hey, when you accept my name, great things can happen in your favor

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ErinWalsh

11 years ago

So PinkTulips... have you talked to her yet? Given her a chance to explain herself like you wanted to? Was the reasoning crazymaking or deflecting in any way? Did she do the gas lighting move of "You don't trust me or you never would have looked!" move?

(I predict gas lighting when you do confront her myself. Only because I've been the friend to pick up the pieces when your situation happened.)

I don't know you very well, but I'd hate for you to be played. No one deserves that.

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KingRoyal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by ErinWalsh

So PinkTulips... have you talked to her yet? Given her a chance to explain herself like you wanted to? Was the reasoning crazymaking or deflecting in any way? Did she do the gas lighting move of "You don't trust me or you never would have looked!" move?

(I predict gas lighting when you do confront her myself. Only because I've been the friend to pick up the pieces when your situation happened.)

I don't know you very well, but I'd hate for you to be played. No one deserves that.

She did not use anything against me. I asked her how she would feel if I were still talking to my EXes and she said she would be uber jealous, and then I was like....well imagine how I feel. So she was like, I care about you too much for that to happen so Im willing to cut this guy out of my life.

The conversation was really easy going and she was willing to do what was necesary

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seasoned

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

She did not use anything against me. I asked her how she would feel if I were still talking to my EXes and she said she would be uber jealous, and then I was like....well imagine how I feel. So she was like, I care about you too much for that to happen so Im willing to cut this guy out of my life.

The conversation was really easy going and she was willing to do what was necesary

MAN I wish I could bottle this. It would be more powerful than the atom bomb, so I don't know who I would dare sell it to. Maybe Iwould just create eden!?!?!? ALAS, I have a feeling I know how it works, and there is nothing to bottle.

Are you stringing US along, or do you REALLY not know that she is stringing YOU along? If she cared about you, she would have broken up with him, blocked his number, and not told you. She ALSO wouldn't taunt him.

Steve

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KingRoyal

11 years ago

You guys have gone way off topic lol. I guess my username has that effect on people lol

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KingRoyal

11 years ago

Im certain after our talk though that shes not stringing me on, I am 100%

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Dan Riffle

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Pink Tulips008

Im certain after our talk though that shes not stringing me on, I am 100%

I wish you luck, Pink. I really do.

You also have a great learning tool right here should the relationship go south. Come back here, read the responses, but really read your own. There will be something extremely valuable in there. It may not even be about your relationship.

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KingRoyal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Dan Riffle

I wish you luck, Pink. I really do.

You also have a great learning tool right here should the relationship go south. Come back here, read the responses, but really read your own. There will be something extremely valuable in there. It may not even be about your relationship.

Thank man, really

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Patrician

11 years ago

I 2 hope U R right about your GF and I do wish U the very best, Pink Two-Lips

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KingRoyal

10 years ago

Well, time has passed, and I thought I would share an update on this. I broker up with here...finally. Its more a relief to be totally honest. Also, I found myself coming back here to re-read a lot of the inputs you guys provided. Thanks for being an awesome family

(For real). Man, DONT DATE PEOPLE WITH A SHIZZZ ton of baggage, even if the sex is good

Love you all!
J

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Dan Riffle

10 years ago

Originally Posted by KingRoyal

Well, time has passed, and I thought I would share an update on this. I broker up with here...finally. Its more a relief to be totally honest. Also, I found myself coming back here to re-read a lot of the inputs you guys provided. Thanks for being an awesome family

(For real). Man, DONT DATE PEOPLE WITH A SHIZZZ ton of baggage, even if the sex is good

Love you all!
J

Take your lumps as a learning experience. You seem like a good egg.

Now, get back out there and sample the candy. Sample with reckless abandon. You don't have to do it for you. Do it for us married men.

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Richard Van

10 years ago

Originally Posted by KingRoyal

Well, time has passed, and I thought I would share an update on this. I broker up with here...finally. Its more a relief to be totally honest. Also, I found myself coming back here to re-read a lot of the inputs you guys provided. Thanks for being an awesome family

(For real). Man, DONT DATE PEOPLE WITH A SHIZZZ ton of baggage, even if the sex is good

Love you all!
J

Good for you chap.

I actually wondered about this thread a few days back and thought I'd have a look to make sure you hadn't met some grisly end.

Dan's advice is sound but as he once said to me on a Friday evening before I hit the pub, go hard on the beer and easy on the women, it's cheaper in the long run.

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KingRoyal

10 years ago

Originally Posted by Richard Van

Good for you chap.

I actually wondered about this thread a few days back and thought I'd have a look to make sure you hadn't met some grisly end.

Dan's advice is sound but as he once said to me on a Friday evening before I hit the pub, go hard on the beer and easy on the women, it's cheaper in the long run.

OMGawsh I LOVE the quote, hit hard on the beer and easy on the women. I will remember this. Good share

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bizgrower

10 years ago

Thanks for the update. Please don't try and give me a man hug. I'm too old school for those. lol

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sbucciarel

Banned 10 years ago

Good for you. Hope the next one is more real.

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Karen Blundell 10 years ago

very interesting thread and I think the OP made the right decision in the end.

I hope he finds the perfect partner for him who doesn't play head games or saddles him with baggage.
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trustedmarketer

10 years ago

Sometimes it takes a brave man to walk away and treat as those experiences in life.

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