I need some "Girl Advice"

by 150 replies
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Hey guys, I know this isn't the best place to address what's on my mind, however I am a night pediatric nurse, its 2 AM and things are slow, which leaves my mind to roam as im waiting to pass out mediction to the kids for the morning. Anyhow, I wanted to see if I could get any mature responses here, because as of right now, I have no where else to go.

Issue: My girlfriend of 3 months has constantly been talking to one of her ex boyfriends via Facebook and text message, and she has been totally honest to me about it, which I absolutely love. However, I stumbled upon one of their conversations recently, and although she may or may not be over that relationship which was more than a YEAR ago next month, I can tell that he is not. In these conversations the guy keeps asking her what ever happened to the relationship, why she left, why they cant get back together, and so on. not to mentioned he pointed a loaded gun to her head and threatened her. Anyhow, she still talks to him, and shes flat out told me that he will always have a small place in her heart, and I totally understand that, I have someone like that too. (however the girl I still care about, we dont talk every day while she expresses how sorry she is for letting me go).

Thing is, hes asking for naked pictures, asking for kisses, and so forth. to my knowledge, she hasnt done anything. I know she has not kissed him because he lives across the state, but the pictures? Im holding strong on faith that she didnt do it. I will be confronting her tomorrow about it, however, how do you suggest I keep tollerating this. Is it foolish of me to tollerate her communication with this guy, or should I try to sperate them? Ive have never been a person to seperate people in the spite of jelousy.

Sorry for the rant, but its heavy on my mind, and Im really hoping to get some input from people who have put up with the similar stuff.

Thanks!
John
#off topic forum
  • Um.........he held a loaded gun to her head and she still talks to him? Holy cow. Get the F*** out of there, dude. A guy like that might just come after you. Sounds like she's teasing him or just can't let go and either way - that's not a sign of mental stability. Go find someone who wants to be with you. We all have that one in the past that will always have a special place. But the normal person leaves them in their place....the past. This woman is trouble. Period.
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  • As far as the Gun situation, thats one of the biggest reasons why she left him. I think shes more Naive when it comes to leading him on.
    • [1] reply
    • What is wrong with YOU that you stay with a woman acting like this? It's not jealousy but priorities. It's not up to you to 'separate them' - it's up to her.

      She is playing with fire by leading on a man she knows is volatile and still involved with her. Maybe she likes the adoration but it shows a lack of concern for your relationship and no concern for the emotional stability of the ex.

      She's trouble - move on.
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  • She's not naive. She hasn't decided whether they're done or not. Obviously, she's not feeling a total commitment to you and she might be putting YOU in danger of retalliation from a lunatic.

    I think you already know the right answer. Making excuses for this situation isn't going to do a darned thing for you. The fact is, you're not first in line or she wouldn't be on the phone. Get a grip and get out.
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  • Banned
    I would suggest that you gain a little self-respect, self-confidence and self-love and move on with your life. Pardon my harshness but you are dealing with a nut job. Run like hell. The life you save may be your own.

    Cheers. - Frank
    • [ 6 ] Thanks
  • Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

    Read your original post again, but from the point of view of being asked for advice by someone in an internet marketing forum
    • [ 4 ] Thanks
    • [1] reply
    • I'd get a gun then I'd pack, then I'd get the hell out of there.

      Be with someone committed to you only, not some poxy nutcase ex.

      No normal girl would go near a man that put a shooter to her head, unless she's lying in which case the advice remains the same.
      • [ 5 ] Thanks
  • Pink,

    There IS something wrong with your girlfriend. Maybe she is the kind that likes teasing males, and thinks that SHE can control it, etc... I think everyone here knows that WON'T be the case.

    Meanwhile, HE wants a kind of "fix", but with circumstances the way they are, he almost certainly won't stop with that. You KNOW he is unstable, and likely a killer, because he held a gun to her head.

    I will NEVER understand why so many women love such guys or why so many guys will so freely risk so much, but this almost always ends the same way. Most that don't end up a way that some would say is WORSE!

    I know it is hard, but the most sane and best thing to do is leave your girlfriend and not let her know where you are going. If YOU live there, hopefully she didn't use your computer. If she did, and you have evidence, let the police know. Get the various info wiped off the computer, change the IP, etc.... Get your girlfriend out, and plan on moving.

    It WOULD be nice if you knew all she said, but you don't. She may have sent her ex a picture of you, and said she loves you too much to leave you, etc... The other guy could hate your guts and see you as a threat.

    Steve
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  • Pink, I'm going to ask you one question. I want you to think logically about this. Remove all emotion from your response: What type of woman would still talk to a former lover who held a gun to her head and do you really want to spend your life with that type of person?

    You've only been with her three months and she's already showing Level Red batshittiness. Imagine what it'll be like two years down the road. She'll have you contemplating rope and rafters by then.
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    • [1] reply
    • Sorry to add to your splendid post Dan but....what sort of woman still talks to a former lover that held a gun to her head and now is asking for nude pictures, kisses and she flat out told you he will always have a small place in her heart?

      I feel for you because you're clearly in love with her, love is blind though and it's blinding you sadly.
      • [1] reply
  • Banned
    Let's see ... she still gives him the time of day after having a gun held to her head. There's obviously something she doesn't want to let go of. I don't think there's a place in a solid relationship for this kind of secondary relationship, especially since there's so much chatter and he is obviously trying to get her back. I think it shows a lack of respect for the relationship the two of you have.
  • If I had a daughter, I'd for sure want her to hang out
    with a guy who points a gun to her head. And, I'd for sure
    want her to be the kind of woman who thinks that is acceptable.

    That's also the kind of woman I want to hang with and marry
    and have a bunch of children with. Maybe even have all
    her ex-boyfriends over for lunch sometimes. Oh, and let them
    bring their guns too.
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  • All of these questions are wrong.

    Don't try to separate them. don't be jealous. Get out now. He's crazy, and she is a loon.

    Don't make a dramatic exit. Don't argue. She'll go back to him, and then you'll be the bad guy. Then you'll have a guy, that's used to pointing loaded guns at people...wanting to prove to her how much he loves her.

    I'm not kidding. Leave. She is toxic.

    I used to be married to a woman that loved jealousy, drama, conflict. To her, it was romantic. My life was a living hell.

    Notice that nobody is saying "Well, give her a chance"?

    Because there is no way this is going to work out.
    • [1] reply
    • Love may be blind - but it doesn't need to be stupid. I notice the OP hasn't replied again...no response to common sense?

      There is a wuss factor in this thread that blows me away. Why would any self-respecting man stay with a woman who acts like this?
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      • [1] reply
  • Banned
    [DELETED]
  • In today's world, dating is more and more precarious and even marriage isn't as strong of a bond. Honestly, I'd break up with a girl who was behaving like that and maintaining contact with someone that's being inappropriate. It says a lot about her and the excitement she's getting from this. That being said, haven't we as guys done things that if our girls saw they would be a little(or a lot) upset with? Do what you think will be right for you, whether it's really confronting her or going your separate ways.
    • [1] reply
    • Steve -

      I don't understand any of the people involved. They all sound like they have "issues".

      Far too much drama for me in this story. I'd walk away from all of them.... would probably RUN away.
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  • I would send her a card.

    "Dear baby,

    Welcome to dumpsville. Population: You."
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    • [1] reply
    • Yep!

      Drop her like a red hot stone.

      Here's a simple test for just about every question that you may face.
      "If you have to ask, it goes."
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  • Forget about the gun.

    A woman who is still communicating with a recent ex in that way is trouble regardless.

    And you're taking her "honesty" as a good sign, when in actuality it's a terrible sign.

    Did she disclose the whole nature of the conversations -- the nude pic request, pleas for getting back together, etc.?

    Yes: She doesn't see anything wrong with it, meaning she's a shot of tequila away from "accidentally" hooking up with him/another guy.

    No: She knows it's wrong and is using selective honesty to manipulate you -- more dishonest than if she hadn't said a thing.

    Also, if she didn't tell you, your snooping and the fact you posted this thread tells me that she already has the upper hand in the relationship. You are in for one wild ride if you decide to stick this one out.

    It's not worth turning around. You've only been with this chick for three months, cut your losses and meet someone new. Or use your extra time focusing on whatever side hustle you're here to learn about.
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  • I was stuck in an awkward position once and in the end I got cramp.

    Anyway I was going out with this girl for a few months back in 2001 and it was a similar scenario to yours except there were no weapons involved, or Facebook. The girl I was with was gorgeous, one of those girls that make other guys envy you. To cut a boring story short one night I turned up at her place after work and she was off out for a drink with her "ex". I basically turned around after she tried to explain and walked away. I've never spoken to her, or seen her since.

    Although it was quite difficult at the time, I really have no regrets. I did at the time mind you, big, huge, gaping, depressing regrets. It was especially difficult after learning she changed her identity and moved to Australia the very next day, but after eventually seeking psychiatric help and spending some time in rehab you do learn to deal with the pain and anger in a positive way. Anyway the moral of the story is this. No matter how difficult it seems or how hurt and depressed you become, don't try to fly to Australia if you have a restraining order because they won't let you on the plane.
    • [1] reply
    • Banned
      Something tells me there's more to this story. Why did she change her identity and why was there a restraining order?
      • [1] reply
  • Thanks for the replies guys, made my day :p

    Sorry OP, no offence.
  • After the day sleeping OP wakes up, I hope he has several cups of coffee
    before he reads all this.
  • Hey guys, wow! Sorry for not responding back yet, again I am a pediatric nurse and just woke up after a 14 hour shift! I had a talk with my GF when I got off work, and she actually showed me the text where she told the other guy that she would never send such images and the dates on the text matched when he asked her for naked pictures. So I am very happy with that. I've asked her to revaluate if she was over him, and she said 100% and said that she would start pulling back from most communications with him
    • [5] replies
    • You, sir, are doomed.
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      • [1] reply
    • Such an apology/commitment simply ISN'T one!

      Steve
    • Again, what you see as a good thing, I see as you being totally screwed.

      Your problem is you're listening to what she says and not what she does.

      If I ask a woman for naked pictures and she responds in ANY way other than blocking my number, she is either interested or craves attention/drama. Hell, I've had women I was sleeping with who wouldn't even send me nude photos.

      "Never" is Womanese for "not right now", "I'm not in the mood", or "convince me". It is finite unless accompanied by a supporting action, i.e., ignoring you or leaving your house.

      Not to mention that she now knows you went through her phone; meaning she not only has the upper hand, she is well aware of that fact -- if she wasn't already.
      • [ 2 ] Thanks
    • 1) "most communications"? She is still trying to hang onto both of you.
      Still playing you, son. How many times has she said something like that?
      And you still want her?

      2) Violent not completely "ex" boyfriend and you still want her?

      3) Seek professional help.
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    • Wow. That last sentence speaks volumes. You are deluding yourself.

      "would"? "start"? "most"? That's the language of wishful thinking.
      It's a bad relationship. And I don't mean "it's cute how he keeps giving her another chance"......

      If you are relaying facts to us, then there is absolutely no chance that she has already cut this guy off. You are being played.

      I know it's painful, but keep some dignity. Find someone sane.
  • [DELETED]
  • See thats the thing, I am not the type of person who wants to get inbetween two other people, (to an extent). If he is asking her for naked pictures then sure, I have to step in on it and confront the issue. But how would it be right of me to tell her that if she doesnt stop responding to his text period, then im done? I know she doesnt initiate the conversations, its him that starts the text and facebook messages.
    • [3] replies
    • This is a time you are 150% justified to get inbetween two people. The fact that you are reluctant to reveals to all of us that you are an unconfident sissy pants...and I'm trying to use nice words here.

      Just to give you some perspective...in a normal healthy relationship there is no contact with Ex's of any kind. Ever. It simply doesn't exist.

      ...and about the gun to her head. I call bullsht. It never happened my friend. There is no way any human being would ever have continuing conversations or interaction of anykind with someone who did that AND who is within reach and capable of doing it again at anytime.

      This girl does not love you. Real love does not produce the kinds of actions she's doing. Your being played. Everyone on this thread knows it.
      • [ 1 ] Thanks
      • [1] reply
    • Banned
      The girl is taking you for a ride and it sounds like you intend to stay in the vehicle, no matter what. Your relationship ... do you think of it as a one on one relationship, a casual relationship or an open relationship? If casual or open, it shouldn't matter who she talks to or even if she sends out naked photos. If you both have an understanding that it is a one on one relationship, it is clearly not. There's a third person in it and someone who is not as committed to the relationship as the other is.

      If it's just great sex or having someone around that makes you feel good, the relationship is alright for the short term, but if you have any thoughts of long term or a future with her, you're just asking for heartbreak.

      Personally, I wouldn't give her an ultimatum. She's already shown her colors and whether it's this ex or someone new down the road, I don't think she's relationship material. I'd dump her if long term is what you're looking for and wait for the "right" one.
    • I tried the diplomatic approach. Here goes for the 99% of that which clearly didn't penetrate:

      THE GIRL IS AN IDIOT, AND IF YOU STAY WITH HER YOU ARE A BIGGER ONE.

      Hey, love is tough sometimes
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  • I would reckon that the wisest course of action would be to just be done with it without laying down conditions.
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  • Dude, are you serious? You're 3 months in. You aren't married, engaged, or even been together long enough for it to be considered a serious relationship. You started "dating" in freakin March...

    You have absolutely no say in what she does or who she talks to, nor are you in any position to be making up rules. If you don't like her choices, move on and find someone you're compatible with. If she was the right person for you, you wouldn't have to ask her to change. And if you were the right person for her, she wouldn't be talking to her ex.
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  • Hold on to your socks, Claude - I am about to convince you that ESP is real.......

    I see, around a year from now.....can't be real sure about that, but in the not too far off future....

    After months of driving around town desperately seeking her vehicle to rest his mind about where she's been spending all those spare hours, here's Pink Posies on his knees sobbing at her feet while she sips her wine and glances coyly at the charming gentleman across the table from her.
    "Please come home, Baby" he sobs. "He can't love you like I do".
    She bends and whispers sharply in his ear "you go wait outside. You're embarrassing yourself. This isn't what it looks like. I'll be with you in a minute and we'll go talk about it. Now GO."
    Pink Posies nods his head, wipes his eyes and nose on his sleeve and walks for the door.
    Smiling to herself, but keeping a staunch, embarrassed outward appearance, she turns to the gentleman seated beside her and says "well, now you can see why I've had to take it slow in breaking this to him. He's such a pathetic little mess..............."

    A Ron White quote comes to mind.
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    • [1] reply
    • I think you're r....ri....riiii........(This is very hard to get out) ....


      I agree with this.
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      • [1] reply
  • I know someone who has been put in the hospital several times
    by her man (I've seen the police reports/photos). She still leaves and
    then goes back to him. (The saddest part is that their 4 and 6
    year old angel children are now in foster care.)

    She is also very capable of fabricating stories about how other people
    treat her. She ran away from her adoptive mother, who happens to be
    an attorney, claiming that the woman was abusive when it was likely a matter
    of her not getting her own way. Ditto for what she says about her real
    Mom when all her Mom is saying is no to her getting drunk in her house.
    (She's 24 now and living with Mom when not back with her male.)

    There was another incident where she likely fabricated most of a
    story of being physically and sexually assaulted.

    Now that we are aware of how bad she can be at fabricating, I
    will never be remotely close to anything alone with her. I used to let
    her stay in a room at my hotel, but now I see how even that could
    backfire on me. Ditto for a man who has known her since she was 4
    years old and she wanted to stay at his place for the night to get away from
    real Mom.

    If the gun story is not real, you don't want her around.
    What might she fabricate about you?
    What rights of yours might get taken away if she gets a
    Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) on you over something she made up?
    What could a fabrication do to your career?

    If the gun story is real, you don't want her around.

    As a pediatric nurse, have not you seen the horrible outcomes
    caused by people like this?
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
  • Looks like you intend to go along for the ride.

    Fair enough. consider that your girlfriend hasn't revealed everything
    to you, only the parts she wants you to know about.

    If you can grasp that, you'll add some clarity to your thinking.

    You are in no way safe.

    You are the number 1 obstacle, in the eyes of her ex. That puts a target on you
    whether you want to acknowledge it or not.

    Consider too, that your name, where you live, work, the route you take to get there and back, where you bank, shop, your off hour activities, hang outs, the vehicle you drive and more are probably known to her ex.

    You are kidding yourself, bub if you think otherwise.

    Expect a confrontation. Prepare for it as best you can. Run the scenarios through your head several times. You're going to need a plan if it happens and it won't be when/where you expect it to.

    Pay extra attention to everything going on around you. If you notice anything that doesn't seem right or something unusual, don't dismiss it.

    If you don't have a dog, see if you can borrow one from somebody for a while. Go to the pound and get one temporarily. The dog will bark if it hears something. If you're asleep, that could give you the time you need to wake up and take action, if needed. I've been there... and the dog saved my life.

    Sleep with one eye open. You're dealing with not one, but two nutcases. Sorry, but it's obvious. Good luck to you. You are going to need it.
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
  • I feel I need to point out a few things.

    1. I doubt pointing a gun at her head was the first act of violence towards her in that relationship. This makes her an abused woman.
    2. He's pulling the charming "baby come back to me I'm so sorry" act right now, and it's addicting to abused women. The attention and compliments. I'm sorry, but they usually fall for it. It takes a lot for an abused woman to break away and STAY away.

    The fact she hasn't told you he's asking for kisses and naked photos may mean she's already sent them, or is looking for an opportunity to take them.

    Let me tell you a story of my past: I have someone who will always "have a piece of my heart." When I got with my husband he wouldn't stop flirting and making overtures. I stopped talking to him.

    See the difference between a woman who wants the relationship to work and what you have?

    My advice is give her an ultimatum. Stop talking to ex or get out. You'll see where you stand then.
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    • [1] reply
  • I hate to bring this up, but I actually have a friend whose brother has been in a wheelchair for 30 years now because in his 20's he just happened to be dating a maniac's 'eX' - all he was doing was opening her car door in her driveway to let her out after a date - boom - his life is ruined.

    In this case you have a clue - and I can tell you are already in denial and everything is all 'rosy' now because she said some WORDS. You have to have more self-esteem and self-preservation.

    While it is true it could happen to anyone, anywhere at any time, might as well not push it when you know there is a reason to back off.
    • [ 2 ] Thanks
  • The answer to this is so obvious it could have been figured out with a simple yes or no poll.

    Should I stay or should I go?
  • I'd Twitter: " I just need my space. It's not you, baby. It's me." lol
  • The problem is just as much with Tulips Guy as it is with his Bad Girl.

    I was thinking about this thread last night when I was watching one of the real crime shows on Investigative Discovery.

    Girl meets (cute/sweet) guy online - he even admits there is a website where his jealous eX really hammers him and of course none of it is true -

    she looks at the site and even goes so far as to contact the eX-girl - and the girl turns her on to a bunch of other girls that think he is pond scum - a thief, liar, etc.

    But Nooooooo, she is not going to judge or believe anything out of 'fairness' to him (hahahaha) fairness - more like her own neediness, lack of self-esteem and denial (he simply HAS TO BE the man of her dreams, nothing can interfere with that!).

    Even when he is busted lying to her personally, well maybe she can help make an honest man out of him (hahahahaha) and see him through this - go to church/counseling, move him in with her, pay all the bills, etc.

    Anyway long story short he rips her off for every last dollar, down to her laptop, phone, and wallet and disappears.

    The good part is she did FINALLY really run him down until he was caught and incarcerated - turned out he had about 50 aliases online and no telling how many other victims.

    But my point here is that Pink Tulips is not listening - all he is hearing is what are more than likely just her LIES and he is so desperate that he will believe her and ignore the truth.
  • I think Pink has left the room.
    • [1] reply
  • Update: this guy called her today while I was in the car with her before we went into church. He was drunk and she flat out told me who it was when she hung up, although the call lasted 30 seconds. Today, she had me block his number in her phone and I also deleted the phone number in her phone. No more calls can get through, she also had me block him off of her facebook She told me that she apologized and that she was ready to cut him from his life. Thanks guys for sharing inputs
    • [1] reply
    • Perfect. Sounds like the fun's about to begin.
      Enjoy!
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      • [1] reply
  • Pink,

    It's not over. It is about to begin though, in earnest.

    The lessons that you learn from this experience will stand
    you in good stead down the road. Some of us (and I'm one of
    them) have to learn through experience. It's harder that way
    but necessary.

    So be it.

    I do wish you the absolute best.

    Have fun but be vigilant.

    Good Luck!
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
  • my goodness.. you don't need this man.. girls that still talk to ex's will always be bad news. Get a girl who will only dedicate her time to you only. Not some other low life piece of SH#T.
  • One thing to watch for is that sometimes people are willing to give up the obvious but they still have hidden ways to do what they want to anyway.

    By having you do it you are satisfied that it's done. That could mean that she is over him and ready to be more committed to you or it could mean she wanted you to be satisfied that it was done even though nothing was really done.

    For example, it's extremely easy to get multiple email or FB accounts. It's easy to unblock numbers or to give and accept calls in any number of other ways such as through Google Voice, Skype, or a cheap prepaid phone.

    Not being paranoid but just saying...

    Mark
    • [1] reply


    • Just wanted to address the both of these responses. The conversation we had, the way we had it and the mood she had when she agreed to block, I believe she genuinely blocked him because she saw how irritated I was about it. However, after a completely explained to her that she was providing him false hope she immedately said that she needed to block him because she did not want to give him any hopes of ever getting back together.

      As far as the arguments are concerned, I honestly don't think she would ever use it. We've had a few arguments already and they all ended peacefully with compromises.

      Thanks for the input guys!
      • [1] reply
  • Time to move forward.. or move on..
  • Pink,

    I didn't want to say it myself, but paul and richard are right. It is amazing how some women have SO much pull. And some of them PLAY with it. Most that play with it to this degree DON'T care about the outcome. In fact if she got hurt, she would try to encourage OTHERS to take the fall. I think it is clear that you AND the ex are obsessed. Like many obsessions, it just won't be worth it to either of you.

    I would suggest that you try to bring things back to the way they were, forget about her, and try to get rid of ANYTHING she had access to. If she learned the number to your checking account, for example, CHANGE IT, etc.... Don't even bother to tell her they have been changed. If she asks, feign ignorance.

    Steve
    • [2] replies
    • Could it be most of the 'compromise' was on your part?

      Whatever - it's your love life. I can see where your need to save someone or be the "understanding other" could play into this scenario. Enjoy it while it lasts but don't be surprised if it doesn't end well.
      • [ 1 ] Thanks
    • Now I'm just hurt Steve.

      Why didn't you want to say it yourself that Paul and I are right?

      I'm only kidding, I know what you mean! :p

      Frankly I think everyone in this thread has been spot on.
      • [1] reply
  • Why would she have you block him?

    Oh, wait, I know ... because if you block him, he doesn't exist in your Facebook world. You can't see who he talks to, and if any of your friends talk to him those conversations will never be visible to you because one of the parties is blocked. She could tag him in posts and write "I love you" all over his wall and you'll never see her activity.

    You're just a glutton for punishment aren't you? You have no right what so ever to tell her how to behave or make any rules, but you can make rules for yourself and decide what you're going to tolerate. Bottom line is, if she's still been talking to him then she isn't over him. Blocking him is a short term solution to a long term problem. You're 3 months in, dude... how long are you going to drag this on?
    • [1] reply
    • Interesting thread.

      If she loved and respected you as she should, this wouldn't be an issue. We can all tell you what to do, but that's totally up to you. Whoever she is, she sounds young and immature.

      I can say from a woman's perspective, when a woman truly loves a man, and truly respects him, she'd be sitting next to you watching the game and not on Facebook chatting it up with her ex.

      Just cause she's being upfront and honest doesn't mean anything. Ever heard of hiding in plan sight. Chicks play games too. Just when you think she isn't, she's been out there all along.

      Can't tell you what to do, but if you really want the advice of others, perhaps you should take it.
      • [ 1 ] Thanks
  • Ron, I took it that she asked him to block the ex on HER phone so that he (tulips) would know that it was done.

    Mark
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  • I don't know that FB stuff, but can't she go back and unblock
    the ex, thereby fooling OP?
  • "There are none so blind as those who will not see.
    The most deluded people are those who choose to ignore what they already know."
    -- Thomas Chalkley (1713)
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    • During a rare moment of clarity, it struck me that giving love life advice to a man on an IM forum with the name 'pink tulips' is probably not going to end well.
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  • Kay that's pretty good research.

    However a simpler explanation may be in order...

    His "Pink Tullips" is not a floral reference, it is a vulgar female anatomy reference, of the immature 12 year old boy ilk. Much like the term Pink Taco.
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
    • [3] replies
    • Lol hey now dont judge Its my Xbox Gamer tag because all of the people in online parties think a girl joined. I get to surprise them with a deep voice lol
      • [2] replies
    • Doran -

      ewwwwwww - a whole new yechhh factor and I thought there was enough of that to begin with in this thread.
      • [ 1 ] Thanks
    • Doran; I have no idea what you mean. Please explain in complete graphic detail.

      You had me at "Taco".
  • I honestly do not think its worth just dumping someone before hearing them out
    • [2] replies
    • No problem then. Your call.

      Best of luck and I hope this works out for you and if it doesn't, I do hope you're ok and you learn from it.

      I'll give you one thing though, you've handled the criticism without getting annoyed. Good for you and I just hope this doesn't go the way everyone but you thinks it will.

      Good luck.
      • [ 2 ] Thanks
      • [1] reply
    • But you DID! It would be hard to get a better answer.

      Steve
  • :confused::confused::confused::confused: but interesting heart (hint love) story.
  • so hows the story continuing with your girlfriend?

    Interesting story.

    I've cursed on girlfriends but never pointed a gun at them...yet....hahha
    just kidding. thats seriously messed up. But girls psychology is complicated
    they may in certain situations be attracted to dangerous guys but will probably
    still be reasonable if they think it thorougly through.

    Thanks,

    Milen Rachev
  • Hey, when you accept my name, great things can happen in your favor
  • So PinkTulips... have you talked to her yet? Given her a chance to explain herself like you wanted to? Was the reasoning crazymaking or deflecting in any way? Did she do the gas lighting move of "You don't trust me or you never would have looked!" move?

    (I predict gas lighting when you do confront her myself. Only because I've been the friend to pick up the pieces when your situation happened.)

    I don't know you very well, but I'd hate for you to be played. No one deserves that.
    • [1] reply
    • She did not use anything against me. I asked her how she would feel if I were still talking to my EXes and she said she would be uber jealous, and then I was like....well imagine how I feel. So she was like, I care about you too much for that to happen so Im willing to cut this guy out of my life.

      The conversation was really easy going and she was willing to do what was necesary
      • [1] reply
  • You guys have gone way off topic lol. I guess my username has that effect on people lol
  • Im certain after our talk though that shes not stringing me on, I am 100%
    • [1] reply
    • I wish you luck, Pink. I really do.

      You also have a great learning tool right here should the relationship go south. Come back here, read the responses, but really read your own. There will be something extremely valuable in there. It may not even be about your relationship.
      • [ 1 ] Thanks
      • [1] reply
  • I 2 hope U R right about your GF and I do wish U the very best, Pink Two-Lips
  • Well, time has passed, and I thought I would share an update on this. I broker up with here...finally. Its more a relief to be totally honest. Also, I found myself coming back here to re-read a lot of the inputs you guys provided. Thanks for being an awesome family (For real). Man, DONT DATE PEOPLE WITH A SHIZZZ ton of baggage, even if the sex is good

    Love you all!
    J
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
    • [2] replies
    • Take your lumps as a learning experience. You seem like a good egg.

      Now, get back out there and sample the candy. Sample with reckless abandon. You don't have to do it for you. Do it for us married men.
      • [ 2 ] Thanks
    • Good for you chap.

      I actually wondered about this thread a few days back and thought I'd have a look to make sure you hadn't met some grisly end.

      Dan's advice is sound but as he once said to me on a Friday evening before I hit the pub, go hard on the beer and easy on the women, it's cheaper in the long run.

      • [ 3 ] Thanks
      • [1] reply
  • Thanks for the update. Please don't try and give me a man hug. I'm too old school for those. lol

    Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - The Broken Road (The Original Version). wmv - YouTube
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
  • Banned
    Good for you. Hope the next one is more real.
    • [1] reply
    • very interesting thread and I think the OP made the right decision in the end.

      I hope he finds the perfect partner for him who doesn't play head games or saddles him with baggage.
  • Sometimes it takes a brave man to walk away and treat as those experiences in life.
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    I need some "Girl Advice"

    Hey guys, I know this isn't the best place to address what's on my mind, however I am a night pediatric nurse, its 2 AM and things are slow, which leaves my mind to roam as im waiting to pass out mediction to the kids for the morning. Anyhow, I wanted to see if I could get any mature responses here, because as of right now, I have no where else to go. Issue: My girlfriend of 3 months has constantly been talking to one of her ex boyfriends via Facebook and text message, and she has been totally honest to me about it, which I absolutely love. However, I stumbled upon one of their conversations recently, and although she may or may not be over that relationship which was more than a YEAR ago next month, I can tell that he is not. In these conversations the guy keeps asking her what ever happened to the relationship, why she left, why they cant get back together, and so on. not to mentioned he pointed a loaded gun to her head and threatened her. Anyhow, she still talks to him, and shes flat out told me that he will always have a small place in her heart, and I totally understand that, I have someone like that too. (however the girl I still care about, we dont talk every day while she expresses how sorry she is for letting me go).